Some children begin using drugs by age 12 or teen. We need to talk to our children before high school, not after a problem begins. In this video, I will help you use the Bible to begin an age appropriate conversation with your child about addiction. And we're not only talking about illegal drugs or underage drinking. We are talking about devices, gaming addiction, social media, food addiction, approval, entertainment, or anything else that be can begin controlling our choices. You will also hear exact words you can say to your child and a simple plan your family can practice before temptation begins. Mom, you may be thinking, "My child is only 8 years old." Or you might think, "My child has never shown any interest in drugs or alcohol." Or maybe you're thinking, "Do I really need to bring this up now?" The answer is yes, but not because you need to frighten your child or be scared yourself. You need to prepare your child. The goal is not to make your child suspicious of everything enjoyable. The goal is to teach your child how to recognize when something good, pleasurable, exciting, or comforting begins taking God's rightful place. You see, an ounce of prevention may be worth a pound of cure. But biblical prevention involves more than warning children about consequences. It means teaching them how to walk with God before they face the pressure, pain, opportunity, or temptation that could lead them toward addiction. That is family disciplehip. As I prepare for this conversation, I use the New Living Translation Life Application Bible. At the back of this Bible, there are life application sections that organize scriptures around real life topics. Addiction is one of those topics. And I appreciate this resource because it helped me bring several passages together and ask the question, what does the Bible teach us about being controlled about addiction? What does God offer us instead? And it helped me ask, how can a mom take what she is learning through Bible study and use it when she is teaching her kids about the Bible? You do not have to own this exact Bible to begin. I'm going to give you the scripture references throughout this video so you can study in your own Bible. This is one of the beautiful parts of a Bible study for moms. What God teaches you can become part of your faith at you. See, not every strong interest or repeated habit is a clinical addiction. Your child enjoying a video game does not automatically mean your child is addicted to gaming. However, we should pay attention when a substance, activity, device, feeling, or desire begins controlling decisions. Here are some warning questions. Can I willingly stop? Do I become angry, anxious, secretive, or dishonest when someone limits this activity? Do I keep returning to it even though it is hurting me or someone else? Is this activity or substance is it interfering with sleep or school, relationships, responsibilities, prayer or time with God? Am I using it to escape how I feel and the ways that I feel that I don't want to face? These questions are not a medical diagnosis. They are a way to begin paying attention. You can explain it to your child this way. Something may be gaining control when you feel as though you have to obey it even when you know obeying it is not good for you. That means it might have control over you. Romans chapter 6 verse 16 teaches that when we continually offer ourselves in obedience to someone or something, we become its servant. That gives us the most important question in this entire conversation. Who am I obeying or what am I obeying? We often define freedom as being able to do whatever we want to do. But doing whatever we want can eventually leave us unable to stop what we want. That is not freedom. Here is a sentence you can teach your child. Freedom is not doing whatever I feel like doing. Freedom is having the power to choose what is right. Say that during family devotions. You can say it like this. Freedom is having the power to choose what is right. God does not want your child controlled by a bottle or a peel, a vape, a screen, a game, an appetite, an emotion, even a friendship or desire for approval. God created your child to know him, love him, trust him, and follow him. If biblical conversations like this are helping you feel more prepared to guide your child, take a moment to like this video, that simple action helps other Christian moms of twins find this encouragement, too. Before we ask, "What could control my child?" We should prayerfully ask, "What might be controlling me?" You see, faith mom, this is not a reason for shame. It is an invitation from God to freedom for us. What do you reach to first when you feel stressed or disappointed, lonely, angry or overwhelmed? Do you immediately reach for your phone, to food, to shopping, to why, to work, to entertainment, someone else's approval? What do you reach for automatically? Do you hide any habits that minimize them or become defensive when someone mentions them? We cannot convincingly [clears throat] teach our children to surrender something to God while we're refusing to consider what we may need to surrender. We do not have to be perfect moms to disciple our children, but we do need to be an honest mom. The first step toward preventing or overcoming enslavement is choosing to obey God. That may include confessing sin, removing access, changing routines, even seeing a counselor or visiting a doctor, meeting with a pastor, joining a support ministry, or asking a trusted person for accountability. You see, seeking appropriate help is not a failure to trust God. Sometimes asking for help is the next act of obedience God is asking you to take. In Matthew chapter 6 verse 24, Jesus teaches that no one can serve two masters. The direct context for that scripture is God and money. But the principle helps us understand divided loyalty. Something has become spiritually dangerous when we give it the trust, attention, obedience, or comfort that truly belongs to God. You might tell your child something like, "God gives us many good things to enjoy. But no created thing is meant to become our master." A screen can be a useful tool, but it is a terrible master. Food is a gift, but it cannot heal our hearts. Friends are important, but their approval cannot tell us who we are. Only God is worthy of being first. I also want to mention an interview that will add a real family story to what we're talking about today. It is called Why Moms of Middle Schoolers should talk to their kids about addiction and hold on to hope. In that conversation with Robert, you will hear why this subject matters and why a family should never believe that someone is beyond hope. And I will place the link in the description for that interview. Make sure you watch it when you finish this one. We should not teach children that they can save themselves through stronger willpower. That does not work. The gospel is the foundation of freedom. We have all sinned. We have all obeyed desires that opposed God. We cannot cleanse our own hearts or even free ourselves from the power of sin or from the power of addiction. Jesus Christ lived without sin. He died for our sins and rose again. And when we repent and trust him, he forgives us. He makes us his own and gives us the Holy Spirit that guides us away from addiction and into a new walk in his direction. Galatians 5:22 and 23 identifies self-control as part of the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit. You see, self-control is not selfs salvation. Self-control is the fruit that grows as we remain close to Christ and respond to the spirit's leadership. So you can teach your child some things like this. We do not say no to sin because God is trying to take every good thing away. We say no because God is leading us towards something better. He is leading us toward life and truth and peace and wisdom and freedom. That is the replacement. We are not saying do not do that. We are saying follow God instead. Children ages 8 to 12 often have difficulty imagining longterm consequences. A child may understand that an impaired driver can wreck a car. A child may even see what smoking has done to someone's lungs or their voice. Those examples can certainly be useful. But fear alone does not build lasting wisdom. When temptation comes, the immediate reward can feel more real than the future consequence. And that is why your child needs practice looking beyond the moment. Hebrews 11 24- 26 tells us that Moses refused the temporary pleasures of season because he was looking toward a greater reward. Moses understood that a short season of pleasure was not worth abandoning obedience to God. You can say to your child something like, "Temptation usually shows you what you may receive now, but it hides what you may lose later." And then you can ask your child, what is this promising you right now? And then secondly, what could it cost you later? What might happen tomorrow, next month or next year? How could this decision, this act affect your relationship with God? And how could it affect your body or your mind or your family, your friendships, your future? These questions help your child develop begin developing longterm vision. I want to give you a simple tool you can practice during family Bible study or family meetings or family together time. The word is pause. The P stands for pause before obeying the feeling. Teach your child to stop before clicking, accepting, drinking, taking, hiding, or even responding. A pause creates room for wisdom. Your child can pray and ask God, "God, help me see this clearly before I make a choice." The A in pauses ask, "Who is in control? Is God leading this choice? Is a friend controlling this choice? Ask, is curiosity controlling this choice? Is anger or loneliness or fear or desire to fit in controlling? Ask is the device controlling the child or is the child using the device wisely? The U in pause is understand. Understand the promise and the cost. And this can take some questions too. What is this promise in me? Understand maybe it promises relief or popularity or excitement or comfort or escape or even acceptance. But then ask what could it cost? Understand what it could cost. The S is seek. Seek God and a trusted person. Your child should know that temptation grows stronger in secrecy. Teach your child to tell you another person, a pastor, mentor, counselor, teacher, coach, or another safe person. And the last letter is E. Exchange it for an obedient action. Do not leave an empty space. Teach your child to replace the harmful response with a wise one. Pray. Go for a walk. These are some things that you can do. Talk honestly. Move the device out of the bedroom. Get yourself out of the situation. Leave the circumstance. Call mom or dad. Read a psalm. Read a proverb. Go drink some water. Rest. Take a nap. Create something. Get your mind off of what the opportunity was and replace it with something else. Serve someone. Ask for help. The replacement will depend on the situation, but the principle remains. Do not only turn away from what enslaves you. Turn toward the God who frees you. Teach your child that. In the comments, would you write the word pause? If you plan to teach this to your 8 to 12year-old, writing it down might be helpful. You might rewind this video, write it down, and bring it up in your next family devotion time or your next conversation with your child. You do not need to sit your child down and give a frightening lecture. That may not help and it may not make any difference but you can begin during a calm moment. Here is one way to say it. Can we talk about something important? You are getting older and you will see people use different things to feel good, escape pain, fit in or handle stress. And some people may turn to alcohol or drugs or vaping or pills. Others may become controlled by gaming devices, food, shopping, popularity, or anything else particular. Not everything we enjoy is an addiction, but anything can become dangerous when it begins controlling us and leading us away from what is right. And you could further explain to your child, God made you to walk with him. And God wants you to help you make wise choices. And you can always talk to me. Even if you made a bad choice, even if someone offered you something and even if you are afraid, I will be disappointed. Still talk to me. I mean may need to take action to keep you safe. But I want you to know that telling me the truth is always the right step. You will never have to face something like this alone. And then I want you to stop and I want you to listen asking these questions. What have you heard kids say about drinking or vaping or drugs or getting high? Have you ever seen someone have difficulty putting down a phone or stopping a game? Why do you think people sometimes use things to escape their feelings? Get them to talk to you. Ask these questions. What do you think it means for something to control a person? What would make it easier for you to talk to me if you were ever worried? And do not rush to correct every answer. The goal is to understand what your child already thinks. That calm listening helps you become a safe and credible voice in your child's life. It makes them trust you. It makes them want to come to you. It shows them the open door. Do not not only tell your child to say no. Give your child language to use. And you can practice responses like these. No, I don't use that. You can have your middle schooler learn. No thanks. I already decided, oh, I'm not willing to put that in my body. I need to call my mom. Could be another very usable excuse you can teach your child. My family has a plan for this. I'm leaving. And you can also create a family code word. Your child can text that code word when they need to leave a situation without explaining everything in front of their friends or the people that they're with. Your response could be, "I'm on my way." Save the questions for a private, calm conversation. This is one of the most practical Christian parenting tips I can give you. Practice the right words with your child before your child is under pressure. We practice fire drills, don't we? We practice fire drills before there's a fire. We should practice wise responses before there is a temptation. And after this video, I strongly encourage you to watch my full interview with Robert. Why moms of middle schoolers should talk to their kids about addiction and hold on to hope. His family's story adds a perspective that a teaching video alone cannot provide. So the link is waiting for you in the description. A list of prohibitions is not enough. Your child needs a positive picture of walking with God. Instead of only saying do not use a device too much, teach this instead. Use technology as a tool. Then put it down so you can rest and think and pray and work and play and enjoy people. Instead of only saying do not use substances to escape, say instead or teach your child instead when you feel pain, bring it into the light. Talk to God and tell a trusted person. Instead of only saying do not follow the crowd, teach teach your child to decide who you belong to before someone asks you to compromise. Instead of only saying, "Do not let feelings control you." Teach your child this. Feelings give us information, but they do not have authority to command us. Romans 8:es 5-9 contrast a mind directed by sinful human desires with a mind directed by the spirit. Help your child regularly set their mind on the things of God through scripture, through prayer, through worship, through service, through community, through honest conversation and wise friendships. Family devotions and Bible study for kids are not boxes to check. They are repeated opportunities to help your child recognize God's voice and trust his way. This is how faithfilled kids are formed through the grace of God and steady Christian family disciplehip. You see, you can have a short family meeting and complete these sentences together. In our family, we want God to be first because and you can decide what your because is what your reason for God being first is. When we feel stressed or hurt, we will and then put your action plan. If someone offers us a alcohol, a vape, a peel, another severance, we substance, we will what your plan is. If a device begins interfering with sleep, responsibilities, relationship, or time with God, we will put your action plan in ahead of time. Be prepared. If we make a wrong choice, we will tell a trusted adult. and our trusted adults are and our family clothe is one healthy activity we can choose instead is keep the plan simple but make the plan prepared. Review it every few months as your child grows. You can also establish practical boundaries. You see devices charge outside of bedrooms. Parents know the passwords. medicine is stored and monitored appropriately. These boundaries help children know never to take a pill that was not given to them by a parent, caregiver, pharmacist, or medical professional responsible for their care. And adults model responsible behavior. Family members are allowed to express concern respectfully. The goal is not a home filled with suspicion. Oh my. The goal is a home where truth can come into the light. Please share this video with one trusted person. It might be your spouse, another mom raising a child the same age. Might be a mentor, a pastor, a counselor, doctor, or even a mature Christian friend. You might send the video with this message. Would you watch this and talk with me about how we can help our children walk with God and prepare for temptation before it becomes a crisis? You need people who can pray with you, tell you the truth, notice warning signs, and support your family. The CDC identifies safe, stable, nurturing family relationships and caring adults outside the families family as protective influences in children's lives. Discipling your children was never meant to require isolation. Wisdom welcomes godly support. Perhaps this video has revealed that you are not only concerned about your child, but you are concerned about yourself. Please do not hide. Bring the truth to God. Tell a trusted person. Ask what access or opportunity needs to be removed. Seek qualified medical or counseling support when appropriate. and look for biblical faithful community and accountability. Celebrate Recovery is one example of a Christ centered Biblebased ministry designed to help people find freedom from hurts, habits, and hang-ups through Jesus Christ. Recovery is not a mark of failure. Let me say that again. Recovery is not a mark of failure. Getting help can be an act of courageous obedience. You might tell your child something like, "I have allowed something to control more of my choices than it should, and God has shown me that I need to change. I am choosing to obey him. I am asking trustworthy people to help me." Use wisdom about how many details are appropriate for your child's age. Your child does not need to carry adult burdens, but a humble age appropriate confession can show your child that repentance is real and help is not shameful. Walking with God is not a formula that guarantees your child will never make a harmful choice. Your child has a will and your family will face pressure you cannot completely control. Pain, mental health concerns, trauma, social influence, availability, and other risk factors can also affect substance use and compulsive behavior. But you are not powerless. You can teach truth before the lie appears. You can build trust before the secret develops. You can practice wise words before the pressure comes. You can establish boundaries before access increases. You can model repentance before your child even needs to repent. Most importantly, you can continually guide your child toward Christ. Faith-based parenting does not mean pretending a problem could never happen in a Christian home. It means bringing every problem and every prevention effort under the authority, wisdom, grace, and hope of Jesus Christ. Before you leave, open the description and choose a time to watch my full interview with Robert. Why moms of middle schoolers should talk to their kids about addiction and hold on to hope. Watch it yourself or send it to the trusted person you identified earlier and watch it together. Do not wait until your family is facing a crisis to begin building understanding, accountability, and hope. And please subscribe to the Faith Mom Mentor for more biblical help with teaching kids about God, helping kids know God, raising kids who love God, and creating a stronger rhythm of faith at home. Mom, you do not need to predict every temptation your child will face. You need to keep walking with God, keep choosing obedience, keep listening, and keep pointing your child toward the one who offers true freedom. The goal is not merely to raise a child who avoids drugs, alcohol, or unhealthy habits. The goal is to raise a child who knows I belong to God. Who knows I can tell the truth. Who knows I can ask for help. Who knows I do not have to obey every feeling or desire. A child who knows and through Jesus Christ I can choose what is right. That is how we prepare our children before addiction becomes a problem. And that is how we guide them to walk with God. Please watch the interview with Robert and stay connected to the faith mom mentor.
