Faith Mom addiction is not an easy topic, but it is a conversation our middle schoolers need us to be ready for. Today we're talking about how to speak with truth, love, and hope in Jesus when addiction touches a family. My guest today is Robert Roo, an awardwinning Colorado-based author, speaker, and lifelong storyteller whose writing career spans more than five decades. His latest book, The Long Road Home: A Family's Journey Through Addiction, was co-written with his daughter, Jennifer. Together, they share the raw and honest story of Jennifer's 30year struggle with alcohol and drugs. Alongside a father's unwavering love and faith and commitment to family addiction recovery, Robert brings compassion, wisdom, and real life experience to offer Christian mom encouragement and help families understand addiction and family dynamics, navigate difficult seasons, and hold on to hope in Jesus even when the road feels long. Robert, thank you so much for being here today. Thank you for having me. I appreciate being here. I feel like that the topic that you have and the book that you have will really resonate with our faith mom. So, I'm so thankful that you agreed to come on Faith Mom mentor today. Well, I like to be here because I like to tell the the the incredible journey that Jenny and I both took, you know, through her 30 plus years of addiction. So yeah, why don't you go ahead and begin sharing a little about your family, your daughter Jennifer, and what led you both to write this long road home together. Okay, let me um let me start by saying to you know um to answer that question, a little history really does need to be addressed. Life is a journey and Jennifer was raised in a place many people would consider paradise. High in the Colorado Rockies, next to a ski area, she had the advantage of living in an environment of safety, trust, and year-round recreation. However, when she was six, her mom sought another life. And that's when Jennifer felt abandonment from her first from a trusted adult, her mom. became apparent over the next several years that that impact of the parent leaving and that family relationship being broken was a de devastating impact on her because it was she and I who were left behind. We were in the same house, the same walls, the same routine. So the story of the family's battle is not just a battle. It's it's uh not even a struggle. It's really it takes the heartbeat and it can turn from a traumatic situation to an emotional heart attack immediately. So to answer your question is simple. God told us to write the book. Jennifer almost died from an overdose of meth and fentanyl. When we were on our way from Texas to Colorado, we had a long talk uh more like a focus on the family talk. It was and I heard God say tell this story. So we did. But the trauma at Jennifer's young age of six from a safe area to a to a an abandonment just uh started hurting her and I was Mr. Mom period. And that was hard to do working in a resort area where I'm on duty 24/7. Although I take Jenny to work with me all the time. And that was that was an honor and a pleasure. And the blessing was too is that we had a Christian daycare that she could go to through the summertime and then go to school at the winter. It sounds like you had a lot on your plate and um the mom's abandonment really had a big impact. So this book is described as raw, honest, but hopefilled. What did you and Jennifer hope families would receive from hearing both the daughter's perspective and the father's perspective, especially walking through addiction and family struggles? That's a good question. Addiction is is a reality of today's world. We um tend to try to sweep it under the rug. The profit potential of selling illegal drugs is tempting to anyone who wants to make a fistful of money. Addiction is a roaring lion roaming around ready to devour the weakest, even the strongest and the most vulnerable. As a society, we tend to look the other way when it comes to addiction. Whether it's alcohol, drugs, or any other substance, playing with fire will burn, it'll scald, it will scar you for life. Reading our story will tell you the heartbreak, the struggle, the helplessness of an addicted person. And this an individual who does not realize the devastating impact of the addiction has on those who love him. It's like not not a a pebble in the sea. It's more like a massive boulder in a very small puddle. Things just change immediately when people become addicted, especially to their families. And what you mean is once a person becomes addicted, it makes a big impact on their families. Exactly. Yeah. Everybody that's involved around them can see the train wreck. They can they can they see what's going on except the addicted person doesn't see. Now in Jenny's case um when she became addicted she that started at for at the age of 14 and so she was basically in middle school and uh that started because well let me go back u I was adopted and so when Jen wanted to know who her mom was I resonated with that because I really would like to have known who my biom was. My adopted mom was terrific, you know, but you you you kind of want to know that history because an adopted person is like a donut. A non-adopted person that's birthed into a family is more like a cookie. And so you want to fill the hole. So I agreed that Jen could go live with her mom for a year to try it out. And she did and it was okay. But then she came back a year with me. And then the year after that, she went to to live there and I was told at the time that she wanted to stay. And that's when her stepfather saw the green light and uh did some things that were just absolutely unacceptable. Um basically to be raonest about it, he walked around the house in the buff with no clothes on. And so she found the vodka bottle at 14 and started drinking to, as she says, to dull the hurt. And once he found out that she was drinking, then he said, "You have a secret and I have a secret." So we will keep those secrets from mom. and and Jen didn't reach out to us because people that are in an abusive situation like that and go into an addiction, they they go into a cave and they pull the rock over the front of it. And so the and the unfortunate thing was that both her mom and u her stepdad were police officers and his job was the juvenile detective for the city. So he had a farm of of of people that he could abuse and did. So as a father, what were some of the most difficult emotions you had to go through hearing this happening? Um, and seeing the results of what happened. Um, what were some of the emotions during Jennifer's long struggle with this alcohol and drugs? The biggest emotion was, you know, at one time when she was, you know, out of school was, was she alive? Was she living? Was she dying? Was she dead? You know, the second was, where is she? Lying in a gutter, in a ditch, you know, someplace where she cannot get help. Was she human traffked? You know, there's an apprehension. What was she on? How much was she taking? You know, going back to the beginning, are was she alive, dying or dead? It was just constant thought that raced through my brain at all time. This was an addiction that I had and addiction I did not realize and could not deal with originally, you know. So, it was it was just wondering where my my little baby girl was and what was going on once we found out that, you know, she was in addiction. before then it was uh a Disney World. You know, she would come up and spend the weekend with us and it was she's always kind of been a little bit of a loner. U she enjoys reading and um being to herself and I just felt that was Jim, but it wasn't. You didn't you didn't see anything abnormal. No, because she hid it as she hid it as well as a person working for the CIA. Yeah, but there was some point evidently she was away that you didn't know where she was. And so it was those emotions of just not knowing where your daughter was that was not knowing where daughter was. Yeah. And uh what was going on with her? Yeah. So, but there's hope. Um this is not the end of the story. You and she came out of it. So, Faith Mom, if this conversation is already encouraging you, would you take a second to like this video? It helped YouTube know this may be helpful for another mom who is trying to nurture her family's faith and find help. And Robert, many Christian parents, moms, dads wrestle with guilt, fear, or wondering what they should have done differently. How did your faith in Jesus help you carry those questions without losing hope in God? We traveled across the United States in our mission work. Uh and uh over 20 years we traveled over 360,000 miles placing chaplain into RV parks in in the south. And uh my wife and I would see a sign posted on utility poles more often than not and it had simply two words, trust Jesus. I wanted to. I had to. I needed to trust Jesus. After all, Jennifer was his more than mine. But my faith was continually faced with tests when I shifted my focus from Jesus and his protection for Jennifer. It was a revelation to realize that I could not solve or rescue Jennifer. Only Jennifer could cry out for Jesus' help. And I I know now there were more people praying for her, praying for our family. I also know it was God's protection, his grace, his mercy were surrounding her every single day during this destructive path that she was following. I did not lose faith, but there were many times my faith would waver. And through the years, I can see that God used this situation to also grow my faith in him because I could continually see the protection that was around Jenny. So it it deepened my faith, but it was the guilt that she was going through and people saying, you know, you can't believe what she's doing. And it was we were all in denial, Jenny and I both, cuz I just I was looking through rosecolored glasses, as most parents do. So for moms of middle schoolers, these years can bring new conversations about the peer pressure, pain, identity, secrecy, and temptation. What biblical parenting advice would you give for creating a home where hard conversations can happen and the rosecolored glasses are removed? Start with Proverbs 22:6. start with children, you know, the way they they should uh they should go teach them that and be a Proverbs 226 family because when they are old, they will not turn from it. Jennifer is truth of that. Um she accepted Jesus when she was in 8th grade. Uh but it was a Christianity light. Uh she was more of a cruise ship Christian than a battleship Christian. So that's the key. If you're not raising your children in God's word, where they find truth, where will they find truth in today's society? I told a young lady once that was surfing on the web. And I said, "What are you doing?" She said, "Well, I'm just surfing on the web." And I said, "Well, you know, two of our presidents, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, said, 'You can't believe everything you read on the web." And she looked at me and said, "Really?" And um I looked at her grandfather and said now you have a conversation. So you know start being a proverbs parent constantly. And there's a Bible acrostic that I think is very very important for people to do. And bibl is an acrostic for basic instruction before leaving earth. If you want a manual on how to raise your child, there are 66 books in the Holy Bible. read them. They will help solve your they will solve your problems for you. Yeah, you're so right. What I hear you saying in that response is be proactive. Get the word in them early and help it to stick. Have faith that sticks in your home um before they can get influenced by others. Exactly. How can Christian parenting and faith-based parenting approach help moms talk to kids about addiction, alcohol, drugs, and destructive choices in a way that's honest but not fear- driven? How can these moments of Bible time and Bible scripture, Bible discussion lead to talks with about addiction and alcohol and such? Well, that's that's a tough one, but you you need to move forward. You have to be honest. absolutely transparency honest with your child. Talk openly without judgment about any kind of addiction, smoking, playing too many video games. That's a heck of a thing. Having an eye to eye com honest conversation. Ask your child, "What do you think about drug usage?" Bring them into the conversation. They will make their own conclusions and decisions, but you are the one that's guiding them down that path of conclusion and decision. discuss what peer pressure is and how that not only affects you as a parent but them as a child in a school environment. You know, we have so many, you know, bullies in school today that that go after kids and the kids don't share that with their parents. So, it's it's an honest talk around the dinner table. You know, it's uh you know what I used to say a lot of times is no tweeting when it was Twitter while eating. Put the phone down. You know, have the conversation instead of watching something on TV. Play a board game. Just make it a a a comfortable environment so they are willing to come and talk to you and you are willing to listen to what they have to say. and dialogue back and forth. Yeah. Actually, what I'm hearing you say is no conversation is off limits. That no conversation can be off limits if you want your child to not have addiction. Yeah, that's so so good and so true. Now, your relationship with Jenny was it sounds like from what you've said it was off and on. So sometimes she would be around hiding the addiction and sometimes you wouldn't know where she was. When a child or an adult child is struggling with addiction, how can parents practice faith-based parenting by loving deeply without enabling destructive behavior while parenting through the addiction? prayer. That is our most powerful tool that God has given us. Jesus prayed as well as his disciples. How many times do we we read that that Jesus went off to pray or said to his disciples, "Will you pray with me?" We have a a direct line to God through prayer. Protect your child through prayer. Envelop them in prayer. When you're working and you think of your offspring or even another person, pause for prayer, a simple sentence is enough. Sometimes a follow-up statement with your child and saying, you know, I I I prayed for you um probably during fourth period in school. Was something going on then? And they will look at you and they may say, yeah, so and so was fussing with me. Prayer is our best defense for a child that is basically in a defenseless situation, which is any situation that the parent is not around. We have to be the mama and the papa bear. And sometimes we're the mama and the papa bear through prayer. That is so good. How did scripture play into your journey toward family addiction recovery? Well, there were many times and I'll admit this quite openly that I was not reading my Bible as much as I should have been. You know, a dusty Bible doesn't do you any good. You know, and at that time as as well, we we we cannot I don't think we can read God's word enough. I'm a victim of not reading and learning enough. But when I read scripture, comfort comes to me in emotional theological waves. It's it's like the the ocean laps the sand maintaining a perfect balance between the land and the sea. That is what reading scripture allows us. We have a centered loving focus. There's a support program that's called celebrate recovery that's based on scripture. You could almost call it aa [snorts] on steroids but with a direct god focus. All of us have addictions to something. A support program for a recovering addict or a parent where a child is in crisis is paramount. Healing needs to occur on all levels, not only theirs. So I would encourage, you know, anyone to find a Celebrate Recovery program there in churches. There's 37,000 of them over the world. So not too hard to find. All you got to do is look up celebrate recovery on the internet and go to the locator and you can find it. We have to be in prayer constantly. We have to read our Bible constantly because that is once again basic instructions before leaving earth. We don't have all the answers. Jesus had all the answers. And a lot of times too when when there's a an issue with your child as and you don't know what's going on, please understand that the teacher is always silent during the test. Oh, I've never heard that expression before, but that is that just resonates so deeply that scripture is so important. And so just alongside that prayer, knowing the scriptures helps you know the mind of God so you can pray more effectively and um have that encouragement from the scriptures. I love how you said that there was always comfort in the scripture and there is when you are when you are just down and out. Open the word of God, read the proverbs, read the Psalms and get that breath of encouragement from the scriptures. It makes a world of difference. Robert, what would you say um for the Christian mom who might need a bit of encouragement today? especially moms of middle schooler who may have a child who is she sees sort of on the brink of addiction or maybe a spouse or a sibling or just a loved one who's struggling right now and she's just tired, she's afraid or wondering if there is still hope. What would you say to her? There is always hope. Let me repeat that. There is always hope. We are not hopeless. We need to be hopeful and we need to be hopefilled. And that may not just come from you. You cannot do it alone. You cannot solve the problem by yourself. You need a support team. You need a prayer circle. You need a trusted friend to talk to in order to share your joy, your sorrow, your fear, your challenges, your tears, your smiles. Ephesians talks about that triplebraided rope that cannot be broken. We are only one strand. God and human support make up the rest. Create a team and fill in your name there. So I have team Jennifer, there's team Robert, and there's team family. And that is your support. You, God, and prayer can do this. the path you're on. Many many people are continuing to walk down and will you're not alone. Don't do this alone. It doesn't work alone. Prayer is is the most powerful and from that brings hope and know that hope is there and that's why Jesus came to give us hope to give us eternal life. Without that, I I I I look at people that aren't Christians and it's like I see no hope in them. All I see is is an emotional void that needs to be poured into and I hope I'm the vessel that will pour into them because Jesus will always refill my vessel so I can pour into the next person. Yeah, you're so that is so good. the um the hope of the gospel is what we anchor ourselves on and in. And even though you cannot see your loved one getting through this, know that because the tomb is empty, Jesus is faithful. God is faithful and he will see those through that put their trust and their hope in him. So don't let the Satan steal your hope. And the reason it's called hope is because we don't see it yet. If we saw it, it wouldn't be hope. And so we we are thankful for the hope of the gospel that we can anchor ourselves in. And if you are enjoying or if you would enjoy more faith-based encouragement like this for your motherhood and parenting journey, I would love for you to subscribe to the Faith Mom Mentor. And Robert, how can moms connect with you learning more about your books and find the long road home and just see how to live that life of hope that you speak of? Well, my book's on Amazon, so that's uh the best way to find it, and you'll find it underneath my name, Robert N. Rooe, or by its title, The Long Road Home. I can also um get you a signed copy by emailing me at my name, [email protected]. Most bookstores will um be happy to order you a copy if you request that service. I'm also available to talk to any group about this journey that Jennifer and I have been on. That's either virtually or or personally or if it's privately, I'm I'm happy to do that, too. Jenny and I are both here to challenge, to share, to support, to listen. You know, we're part of that triple braided rope, and we're here pulling for you. This is not um um a tugofwar contest. We're all on the same rope, and we're holding each other up. And when you get when you think that you're into the rope, understand that down there, tie the knot, hold on to the rope because there's always hope. So I'm we're there to share our story because that is what God has asked us to do and we shall do it until we exhale our last breath on earth and inhale our first breath in heaven. Very good. And we will link all those ways to find you, Robert. We'll link those in the description. So, Faith Mom, you can check those out in the description and get directly to Robert and his um materials there for your encouragement. Truly, it is hopefilled encouragement for you. Faith Mom, today's conversation reminds us that in Christian parenting, some roads are longer than we ever imagined. But no road is too long for the mercy, patience, and grace of God. As moms of middle schoolers navigating Christian motherhood, we are called to be faithful, not perfect. Through faith-based parenting, we can keep praying. We can keep loving. We can keep speaking truth with grace and we can keep pointing our children to the only one who can truly redeem, restore, and bring the wandering back home. If this conversation encouraged you, I pray it offers biblical parenting advice and Christian mom encouragement to give you courage to have honest conversations in your home. Talk to kids about addiction with wisdom to notice what your child may be carrying and to remember that God is still at work even when the story is not yet finished. Thank you so much for joining us for this episode of the Faith Mom Mentor. your go-to Christian podcast for Christian moms seeking guidance in Christian parenting and faith-based parenting. Again, I'll include Robert's details, his author page, and information about The Long Road Home: A Family's Journey Through Addiction in the description so you can learn more and check out the book. And faith mom, as you go today, remember this. your steady love, your faithful prayer, and your willingness to walk through hard conversations with your child about addiction and family struggles matter more than you may ever know. Keep leaning into Christian parenting, applying these biblical advice, and embracing faith-based parenting as you nurture your family's faith and well-being. You are not alone. This is your Christian mom encouragement from your faith mom mentor to keep raising faithfilled kids for the glory of God.
