Every Christian parent wants their child to be successful. But God says true success begins with just two things. The surprising part is they're probably not the two things you've been focusing on. Proverbs 22:4 tells us exactly what they are. That scripture says, "True humility and the fear of the Lord lead to riches, honor, and life." It's not grades. It's not talent. It's not behavior. true [snorts] humility, the fear of the Lord, those two things. But what does that actually mean? Do do you know how to explain humility to a 9-year-old? Or do you know what the fear of the Lord actually means for a child? Or what those two qualities, humility and the fear of the Lord, look like in everyday family life? That's exactly what we're going to discover together. But first, let me take you into the room where God completely changed my definition of success. If you have a special needs child, you're very aware of what's called an IEP, indivi individualized educational plan. And I sat through many IEP meetings with my son. He always needed much help and support from his teachers. He was never working at grade level and he needed more time to take tests. He needed questions read aloud. He needed extra support. He needed directions given smaller steps. You see, I had been mostly a sometimes B student. And school work had come more easily to me. So, it was hard watching my son face a system in which he could work as hard as he could and still not meet the usual mark. And as a mom, I felt the heaviness of that. Would he ever measure up? Would he ever be called successful? During those meetings, we were often asked, "What is your goal for your child?" And my answer was simple. I want him to be the best he can be. And that sounds like a pretty good answer. But even that answer raised another question. Best according to whose standard? The school had one standard. The test of had another standard of success. And the world had has many standards of success. But what is God's standard of success? And that question matters for every mom, every Christian mom. Your child may have an IEP. Your child may be academically gifted. Or your child may read far above grade level. Your child may struggle to read just one page. Whatever your child is doing, whether they make friends easily or whether they have trouble talking to people or hard time knowing what to say, your child may be creative or athletic, independent, or even very wellbehaved and all those things are definitely gifts and benefits, but they are not the root success in God's kingdom. A child does not have to reach a certain test score to be successful with God. True success is not based on IQ um or reading level, physical strength, social skill, or even the ability to finish three tasks all at one time. Every child is made in the image of God. And every child can grow to reflect the character of Christ, no matter what quote unquote disabilities they may have or quote unquote giftedness they may have. In a recent interview with Miss Veronica Sutherland, we talked about five biblical keys to a successful Christian marriage. And one truth stood out to me. She said that the home is your child's first classroom and parents are their first teachers. So your children are watching what you call success. They are also watching how you respond when life does not go your way. Today we are going one step deeper. What does God call success? And to help us with that, we are looking at Proverbs 22:4 in context. The New Living Translation says, "True humility and fear of the Lord lead to riches, honor, and long life." The King James version of Proverbs 22:4 says, "By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life." And then the New American Standard calls riches, honor, and life the reward of humility and the fear of the Lord. You see, different translations help us see the verse from different sides. Some join humility and the fear of the Lord closely. Others show them walking side by side. But the main truth is clear. Humility lowers self and the fear of the Lord lifts God high. And together they place us on God's path of success. Now let's look at verses around Proverbs 22:4. Verse one says that a good name is better than great riches. Verse two says that the rich and poor people have something in common and that is the Lord made them both. Verse three says a wise person sees danger and moves far away from it. Then verse four gives us humility and the fear of the Lord bring the riches, honor and long life. Verse five warns us about the painful path of wickedness. And then verse six, which we are all familiar with, speaks directly about guiding a child onto the right path. And that is important. The verse about training up a child in the way he should go comes only two verses after the verse about humility and the fear of the Lord. This is family disciplehip and this is faith at home. This is God showing Christian moms of twins of pre-teen what belongs as the focus of teaching kids about God and the path of God's success. Perhaps you have worried that your child does not fit the world's mold of success. And maybe this verse is already helping you breathe again. Would you take a second and tap the like button so other moms of middle schoolers can find this Bible study for moms and receive that same breath of fresh air encouragement. I want to show us what Proverbs 22:4 is actually saying. Let us look at the first ingredient for God's definition of success. It's called true humility. And the Hebrew word is na. It's Hebrew number 638. If you look it up in the Strongest Concordance, it carries the idea of humility and meekness and gentleness. But humility does not mean that you believe you are worthless. It does not mean your child must be silent. No, humility does not mean that. It does not mean that your child can never be confident. That's not what humility means. It it does not mean being a doormat. Humility is not like that. Humility means that we step down from the throne of our life so God can take the lead. True humility says God I do not have to be first. It can also say I do not have to win every argument. And humility can also say God I do not have to get all the praise. It can say God I trust your way more than mine. Strong's list for this word Annabah as list it as humility, meekness, gentleness, and modesty. And you see Philippians chapter 2 gives us the clearest picture of this. Paul says not to act from selfish ambition or empty pride. He tells us to have the same mind which was in Christ Jesus. You see, Jesus had every right to be honored. Yet, he came low and he served. He listened. He humbled himself. He obeyed the father. He was willing to give himself for others. For an 8 to 12 year old, true humility may look some things like this. Your child loses a game but does not insult the winner. Or your 8 to 12 year old could be corrected and listens before making an excuse. And your child sees someone sitting alone and chooses to sit nearby. You see, your middle schooler, your child, ages 8 to 12, admits, "I broke it." Even when the telling of the truth may bring a consequence. and lets their sibling choose first. Your tween asks, "How can I help?" without needing everyone to notice. You see, humility is not just saying, "I'm sorry." You see, we can make children repeat those words without helping them understand the heart behind the words. A humble apology not only says, "I'm sorry." It says, "I see how my choice hurt you. I will not act as though my feelings matter more than your feelings matter." And humility says, "I want to respect peace because I respect God." A child may still explain what happened, but humility does not hide the truth. It tells the truth without crossing the arms or stomping the foot and demanding I have to get my way. You see, humility is not weakness. Let me say that again. Humility is not weakness. Humility is strength under control. It is the power to feel a big emotion without letting that emotion become the boss. It's being angry without becoming cruel. It is being hurt without trying to hurt someone back. Humility is being disappointed without tearing everyone down. Our children live in a world where people often release every thought, every feeling in the moment that they have it. You see it on social media. Your kids hear it in public conversations. These people lose control when they don't get their way. But a humble child can learn to pause, to breathe, to pray, and to think, and then to respond in a way that honors God. That is not weakness. Oh, no. That is great strength. I want to know what you think about your own [clears throat] definition of success. Finish this sentence in the comments. I will know my child is successful when and you fill in the blank. I will know my child is successful when and you fill in the blank. There is no need to give a perfect church answer. I want you to share the first honest answer that comes to your mind. As we look further into the study, I want you to compare the answer you put in the comments with Proverbs 22:4. There is a second ingredient to the path of success, and that is the fear of the Lord. The Hebrew word for fear is yra. The word can mean fear, reverence, awe, respect. It's not a matter of being scared that God may punish you. Think about it like standing in front of a huge mountain that looks beautiful and you look up and you see for one moment it takes your breath. You know you're small [sighs and gasps] and it is beautiful but you are also amazed by what you see. The fear of the Lord is like that. The fear of the Lord says, "God is holy and God is powerful." Wow. God is so good and God is just. God keeps his word. God knows more than I do. And God deserves my trust and obedience. You see, the Hebrew word for fear, yara, includes fear and moral reverence. It describes an awe that moves a person toward obedience. Proverbs says, "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge and the beginning of wisdom." That means wisdom starts when I stop making myself the highest priority. A child who fears the Lord begins asking things like, "What does God say I should do?" Or, "What does the Bible teach me to do? H, [clears throat] will this choice respect God? Will this choice respect someone God has made?" A child who's learning to fear the Lord will ask, "Will this choice respect what belongs to another person?" Suppose your child takes something from a friend. The question is not only will you get caught. The deeper question that your child can learn is does taking this show respect for God and for someone God made. Suppose your child lies about breaking something. The question is not only can I avoid punishment. The question is, does this lie show that I can trust God's way? Suppose friends begin making fun of one another at school. The question is not only will my friends still like me, the question for your child is what response will show people what God is like. This is what understanding scripture looks like in daily life. This is teaching kids the Bible in a way they can use it at school, online, at home, and with kids. To recognize fake money, you first need to know what real money looks like. And in the same way, our children need to see what real respect looks like. They need to see true humility. They need to see what it looks like when a mom respects God, respects his word, and treats people as those made by God. Proverbs 22:2 says, "The rich and the poor meet together. The Lord is the maker of them all." You see, the cashier at the store was made by God. The waiter who got something wrong on your order was made by God. And faith mom, your husband was made by God. Your child was made by God. The child at the school who nobody likes was made by God. We respect people because we respect their maker. Would you consider subscribing to the Faith Mom Mentor for more faith-based parenting, family Bible study, and Christian parenting tips? Each week, we go deeper into the written word of God so you can know God deeply, disciple your tween faithfully, and guide your child to walk with God in a personal relationship with him. You see, we cannot teach true humility without the gospel. Jesus did not merely tell us to be humble. He showed us what humility looked like. Philippians 2 says that Jesus humbled himself and became obedient even to death on the cross. Jesus laid down his life. Because Jesus gave his life, we can receive life from him. But let us be clear. Only Jesus could take the punishment for our sin. A mom is not called to become her child's savior. You are not called to be your child's savior. A wife is not called to accept sin so she can save her husband. Jesus has already done this saving work. Our humility is not the same as his saving grace and saving sacrifice. We follow his pattern, the pattern of Jesus by laying down pride and selfish ambition and revenge and demand to be always first. We lay that down just like Jesus lowered himself in obedience to the father. But then God highly exalted him. His humility was not defeat. It was the road of obedience, victory, and eternal life. This is why the gospel is at the center of raising kids who love God and at the center of the path to success. We do not tell children, "Try harder to be humble so God will like you." We tell them this. We tell them, "Jesus came near to you. Jesus gave himself for you. Jesus offers forgiveness. Because he first loved you, you can now lower yourself, trust him, and love others. I learned some of these principles in a very practical way with my son. When he was younger, I would give him like three directions at one time. I might say, "Go get your big bag, set the table, and um fix his tea for supper." To me, that didn't sound like much. I could handle it. It wasn't much, but to him, it was too much for him to hold in his mind at one time. And he would tell me, "Mom, I can't handle all of that." And instead of becoming angry, I said, "Okay." I could have thought back and said, "You're old enough to do three things." I could have made him struggle about disrespect, but I had to humble myself and I had to ask myself, did he refuse to obey or did I give him too much too fast? I did not remove the three tasks. What I did instead was I changed the way I gave them. I told him first, "Go get your book back." And then after he did that, I told him, "Set the table." And then when he finished that, I asked him to make the tea for supper. I did not lower the goal. I lowered myself enough to meet him where he was and help him reach the goal. And that brought more peace into our home. It brought more peace for me and it brought more peace for him. And that is faith-based parenting. Sometimes discipling your child, your children means asking some questions like these. Was my child rebellious? Was my child confused? Was my child overwhelmed? Or maybe you could even ask, did I clearly explain what I expected? Can I correct this child without losing control of myself? Humility helps us understand before we blame. This is also why I wanted you to watch my interview with Miss Veronica about the five biblical keys to a successful Christian marriage. Your marriage is one of the first places your children watch. Respect being lived out. In that interview with Veronica, she shares how she learned to listen to understand instead of listening only to respond. She talks about forgiveness, prayer, communication, and placing Christ at the center of her marriage. Your child is watching how you speak to your husband. Your child is watching how disagreements are handled. And your child is learning what respect looks like by watching the adults, you, your husband, closest to them. But biblical respect never means accepting abuse. And I want that to be clear. Humility does not require you to remain silent about danger, hiding abuse, or allowing someone to harm you or your child. Anyone experiencing abuse should seek safety and train support. And if there's immediate danger, please contact emergency services. In the United States, there's confidential support and safety planning help. They are all available through the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Now we need to understand an important question. Does Proverbs 22:4 mean every humble person will become rich, famous, healthy, and live to an old age? Well, no. That's not really what it says. This verse is not about a machine where we put in good behavior and God gives us money. That's not what this verse is about. Jesus told a story about a man who had so much that he had planned to tear down his barns and build bigger ones to hold all that he had. The man looked successful, looked productive. He had goods. He had much stored up for many days. And he even had a plan. He had comfort. He had everything he needed. But you know what God said? God said his life would end that very night. Jesus said the man had stored up riches for himself but was not rich toward God. So what kind of riches should we seek? Riches in our relationship with God. Riches that cannot be taken by a bad test score. We should seek riches that cannot be lost. When friends walk away, we should seek riches that cannot be destroyed by a diagnosis or a condition that someone was born with. The riches that last into eternity. What is honor, you might ask? It is not simply being popular. It is living for the honor that comes from God. It is having a life that reflects God's character. What is life, you might ask? It includes the wise and full life that comes from walking in God's way on God's trajectory. And the whole Bible points us toward eternal life with God. You see, this verse does not promise that a faithful child will never become sick or die young. This verse, Proverbs 22:4, shows us the sure direction of God's wise path. You see, true humility and the fear of the Lord lead us toward what is truly rich, truly honorable, and truly alive. The book of Joshua gives a picture of this truth. Oh, it is so clear. God told Joshua to keep his word in his mouth, think about it day and night, and carefully obey it. Then Joshua would walk in God's kind of success. Throughout Joshua, the book of Joshua, your child can see that God keeps his word. That Rahab believed God and acted on that belief. Joshua listened and obeyed. Israel saw God give victori victories they could never have won alone. You see, Achen hid his sin and his private choice brought pain to the whole community. The lesson is not that we learn God's grace by being perfect. The lesson is that our choices are never as private as we think. You see, respecting God brings us onto the path of his wisdom. Rejecting God's direction brings pain. my 50 days of victory through the book of Joshua. It's a Bible study. It helps moms and children walk through these truths together for 50 days. You can trace the hand of God, see what obedience looks like, and help your child understand why Joshua could finally say, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." You can find the Joshua Bible study linked in the description. Now, let's return to the promise I made. Within the next day, 24 hours, I want you to write Proverbs chapter 22, verse 4 in a card. Choose the translation that helps your family understand it best. Place it where you and your child will see it. Read it every morning. Read it before bed. begin memorizing it together. Then ask three questions. These are the questions. Where can I lower myself today so God can be seen? What choice would show respect for God? And what riches, honor, or life has God already given us? Have you ever bought a certain kind of car and then started noticing that same car everywhere when you didn't remember it was ever on the road before? The cars were already there, but your mind had learned what to notice once you bought one. And Proverbs 22:4 can do that for you and your family. Once you learn this verse, you will begin noticing humility. You will notice pride. You will notice reverence. You will notice disrespect. And you will notice moments when you can choose God's way. And your child, they will begin noticing them, too. When I sat in those IEP meetings, I wanted my son to be the best he could be. I still wanted him to learn and wanted him to grow, and I wanted him to reach his goals. But God helped me see that a test could never give the final answer about my child's success. The same is true of your child. Whether your child struggles or excels, the path is still the same. True humility and the fear of the Lord. Humility says, "God, you have come first." The fear of the Lord says, "God, your way is right." Those two truths will prepare your child for school, friendships, disappointment, achievement, adulthood, and eternity. I want to invite you to watch my interview with Miss Veronica about the five biblical keys to a successful Christian marriage. I'll link it in the description. You see, your home is already teaching your child something about respect. Let the next conversation help you make sure your marriage is teaching the lesson you want your child to learn. Because true success is not simply raising a child who looks good to the world. True success is raising a child who knows how to bow low before God, lift up the name of God, and walk with him for life.
