?Mom, have you ever felt like you were trying to hold everything together, your home, your children, your schedule, your responsibilities, your finances, your emotions, your faith Sometimes we think freedom comes when everything is finally under control. But what if true freedom comes when we stop gripping so tightly, and begin surrendering daily to the Lord? Today, we are talking about the lie Christian moms believe about control, and how that shapes Spirit-led motherhood. This conversation is for the Christian mom who wants to raise amazing kids for the glory of God, but sometimes feels the weight of trying to manage everything perfectly. We are going to talk about what surrender looks like in everyday life, how God works through our weakness, , and how moms can model humble, faithful obedience for their children throughout Christian motherhood, and by them walking by the Spirit. I am so honored to ?welcome Heather Day to Faith Mom Mentor. Heather is an author, ministry leader, marketing and communications professional, and the author of Money and Spirit: Surrendering Our Finances to the Work of the Holy Spirit. She has served in nonprofit ministry and communications for more than 20 years, and has helped support hundreds of Christian ministries through her work. Heather also writes about life, motherhood, marriage, and faith-led leadership. She and her husband, Robert, live in Illinois with their two children, Emma and Jackson, and she actively serves in her local church. Heather, welcome to the Faith Mom Mentor. I'm so grateful to have you here today. Good morning, Anne. It's so good to be here. it is great to have you. Heather, would you start by sharing a little of your faith journey and how you have grown in your walk with Christ over the years? How has that journey shaped your understanding of Spirit-led motherhood? Absolutely. ?I am, , very blessed to have grown up in, in the church. My dad, , my dad was a pastor and, , and he was, , he was the same man on, , on Sunday as he was through the rest of the week. So I, , I'm very blessed to have grown up by, , in the, , home of a Christian, , godly mom and dad, and I knew, , from the very, ... My, my earliest memories are of, of knowing that Jesus loved me, and then I, I loved him, too. Yeah. , So I have, , I've always known that. I came to know Christ, to have a personal relationship with him. I'm remember making that commitment when I was somewhere around the age of eight, and then somewhere around the age of 10, I felt a call specifically to ministry, , and I have just been pursuing that ever since. And that's not to say that life has been easy. I've had challenges along the way. I've had things that have stretched my faith. , But I have just come to, to know , that, , God loves me and wants what's best for me, and, even the most difficult circumstances, He has always redeemed it for his good. , And so, , so yeah, that's who I, who I am, and, , just very grateful. And my husband and I, , are, like I s- , like you said, are actively involved in our local church, and, , just doing our very best to, , to serve God and to, to show our, our children the love of ?Christ. Excellent. Excellent. It sounds like you surrendered to Christ at a young age. Was there a season when surrender became more than just a Christian phrase and became something more deeply personal for you? There have ?been several seasons of that, but I I remember specifically as a teenager, just, having, times of prayer at the altar of just, "God,", I want to do more than just believe in you and go through the motions. I want to, live for you wholeheartedly and, and surrender to that." , , and truthfully, that season has happened over and over again because every time I face a new challenge or new circumstances that are just out of my control, , I'm a firstborn, , I like to say a firstborn daughter. I like to take control, I like to, , be in charge, I like to have a plan, and rou- I routinely have to surrender that, , "You know what's best, God, and you know what's happening here," and I have to keep coming back ?to him. as a spirit-led woman, what does that look like, that everyday life of daily surrender? What does that look like for you? Yeah. ?So actually, , I'm in a time right now , of personal growth and leaning on, , leaning on the direction of the Holy Spirit, after, , t- almost 25 years in, , , full-time work, , of marketing and communications, working for organizations. A, a couple, probably a couple years ago, I felt, started to feel the stirring within me of God was doing something new, and I wasn't sure what exactly that looked like. And I've just had to lean in and say, "God, I don't know what things look like five years from now. I five months from now," you know? Like, I just, , I have to surrender that, that you, that you know what's best for me. So I literally have a sticky note by my computer here that says, "What do you want me to do today?" , Because I can get so consumed with where, , what he wants to do with me months down the road, and stressing and having to pull that all together, that I forget that I just have to be obedient in what he calls me to do today. , So I literally have to put visual and mental reminders around me that this is God and, , ?I have to trust him with that. So some people could consider surrender as passivity, but how is surrender different from just giving up or becoming passive? Yeah, ?surrender to me is not, is not saying, "God, you have control so I'm just gonna lay back in the cut and see what happens." , Surrender is asking for guidance and then taking, taking the next right step, whatever that might be. Not to quote, , not to quote Frozen, but just te- do take the next right step. , You know, if I know that I'm supposed to have, , a conversation, like even having this conversation this morning, I have no idea what God will do through this recording or who He'll speak to, but I know that He brought you into my path and, , and so it's, it's actively saying, "God, I trust you with wherever you guide me," listening for that, , b- still small voice, and then obedient, being obedient in the best way that I know how to do. , I used to think that, ... I, I heard a pastor, , talk about ... I used to think of, like, the- God's will almost being like a tightrope, that I had to be very careful or I'd fall off of it and get over here, or, "God, show me your will." And, and it's, it, the ... It's more like there ... God has put boundaries where He will, He will direct me when I get off of that path. And sometimes He's very specific about things that I need to do, but more often it looks like just taking, taking that s- next step, and as long as I'm moving forward and pursuing Him, He will reveal things as I need to know them in the moment that I need to know them. He'll tell me when I'm too far up against the boundaries. He'll say, "No, no, no, no. ?Go back this direction." Your stance is, or your position is that, that this type of surrender brings freedom. Yes. Why do you, why do you hold that? Why do you think that this kind of surrender to the , daily drive of the Lord, of the Spirit-driven life, why do you think surrender and freedom are so closely intertwined? Yeah. Well ?I'll, I'll give you a very practical example. So as I've said, like, I've felt called to make a change, and so , I have started my own business and, , where I'm doing some writing and speaking and some consulting and those sorts of things. And in myself, it's easy to get very worried about the bottom line and replacing my income and, and boy does that need to happen, you know? Of course. , But I, but I have to keep surrendering. I have to keep doing my part and pursuing new business and all these sorts of things. But I have to, , come back to that, like, "God, if you asked me to do this, y- I know that you've got this. I know that you will take care of me. And even if it means that, even if it means I need to, to sell everything, I know I'll be okay because I'm, I'm free in your presence, He has never let me down. He has always taken care of me. And that's not always financially, , but in this case, I just trust that if God has asked me to do it, He will provide the means and, , and the direction ?for what it looks like So what you're saying is that you are dependent on God to be your safe place. Exactly. Your place of safety. We had a interview on the Faith Mom Mentor recently, and I'll link it, , later on in the end of this, , this video. Mm-hmm. But, , regarding that safety. But what are some things, when you think about women, when you think about mothers, when you think about faith moms, what are some things that we as faith moms often try to control that God may inviting us to surrender? Well, I'll ?talk about,, I know that a lot of the moms here are middle school moms, and, , gosh, it's hard to talk about without getting emotional, because I want to protect my kids fiercely, and I wanna protect them from hurt, I wanna protect them from the world. I wanna protect them from all these things. And d- , you know, my son just graduated eighth grade, and middle school has been rough. It has been rough. And as hard as I've tried, , and this was the same case with my daughter, as hard as I've tried to put boundaries up and to protect them from every single thing that can happen, that's not realistic. I, , I can put rules in place, I can take them to the right places, but, , but the, the world is, is in pursuit of them. , The, the, the enemy is in pursuit of them. And, and so there has been stumbles, and there has been hurts, and there has been, , there has been things that I'm like, "Whoa, how did I not see that coming?" Mm. And, if I put all of that onus on me- First of all, it's unrealistic, but it'll also drive me crazy because I can't possibly protect my kids from every single thing that the world might throw at them. , So I have to surrender and know that the God who loves me and has always taken care of me, loves my kids more than I... As, as much as I love them, He loves them more than me, and He's got them in the palm of his hand. So I have to trust that, , that when they face difficult circumstances, that He's there with them. . When they face temptations, 'cause they come a lot, that God is with them and speaking truth into their ears. And, , I have to surrender that over and over again, ' ?cause boy is that hard. Yeah. That you are not taking control, but you are surrendering those reins to the one- Right ... who, who loves them more than you. And there's nobody on this earth that loves your kids more than a mother's love for a child. But God's- Right love is even greater. ? ?? Before we move on, if this conversation is encouraging you, would you take a second to hit the like button? It helps YouTube recognize that this is a valuable resource, and help other faith-filled moms discover support and encouragement here, especially moms of middle schoolers who are looking for Biblical guidance and community in this season of ?motherhood. And . Heather, you have shared how meaningful the story of Moses has been to you, especially his feelings of inadequacy when God called him. What does Moses' story teach us about surrendering our weakness to God and walking by the Spirit as a faith mom? Yeah, I've, , the story of ?Moses has always resonated with me because God called him, and he was he's in the desert literally arguing with God, , about, "Why are you calling me? I, I'm inadequate. I can't do these things. I can't speak well. I can't do these things," and, and he's arguing with God back and forth, and God keeps reassuring him in different ways and saying, "I've got this. I've got this. I've got this." And finally, , God says to him, this is all in Exodus, , start in Ex- Exodus 4, but finally, you know, God says, "Do you not know that I created you? I know your weaknesses. I know your strengths." And I think that that's been always reassuring to me because, , we don't have to pretend or try to rise up to, , where, a place where God, we can be used by God. God works through imperfect people. , And not only that, but He, He chooses us because of our weaknesses. He can, , through our weakness, He is strong. , So He, He knows all those things about us. He's not surprised by those. He's not disappointed by those. He knows about those, , and He uses us anyway. And then furthermore, like, He, He said, "Moses," like s- you know, "I'm also putting somebody in your path. I'm putting Aaron in your path," who is a very articulate speaker. So this has been something that's been ensuring to me, , reassuring to me over the years, is that, that God not only, not only calls me, but He calls me to be in community with His other followers, that we fill in, we fill in each other's gaps. So I don't have to be all things to all men. I, I partner with other people who are obedient to the will of God and, , that we can, we can each do our part and, and together with God- incredible things happen beyond, ?beyond what we could ever ask or imagine. Beyond what we could do by ourselves. It was said of Moses- Right it was said of Moses he was the meekest man on Earth. Meek is not weakness. Meek is just- Mm-hmm ... absorbing, being able to absorb and take in, , being delicate to the will and the word of God. And so- Right ... Moses was, even though he was physically stammered with his talk, even though he felt so inadequate, because of his willingness to surrender to God, and to God's will, and to God's word, and to God's authority, he became a great leader. There was one other thing I was thinking about as you were talking there, about the help. Being a community of help. We think about the Proverbs 31 woman. She gave her handmaidens portions every day. Those were the people who helped her run her business, run her household. Right. Those were the people who helped her. And so the Proverbs 31 woman did not do it all by herself. She may have been the leader, and as mothers, we are the leader, and God has called us to be managers in our home. But we are not called to be all things to all people. - Right ... we are called to surrender daily to the Lord. I love- Yeah ... this message that you present. If I might say, ?like, that just made me think, like, in terms of, , going back to motherhood and our kids, like, one thing we can control is putting our kids in places where they will be surrounded by other godly people who can be there in ways that we can't. So making a habit, , for example, of, my make k- m- make sure that my kids are surrounded by youth leaders and by children's workers, and th- my, my kids, like we can get threatened by, why are they confiding in such and such youth worker or, or this youth intern. , But the, but I'm so grateful for all the women and men who have poured into my kids' lives, and who have been a voice of truth and a voice of encouragement when they're exasperated with their mom and dad you know? Yeah. Like, I'm so grateful that, that they have friends that, godly friends that can speak into their lives and encourage them, , when I- Don't know what to say. , So that's, that's surrender as well of recognizing that Go- that not only does He have my kids in their hands, but He has put p- ?other people in their lives that can fill in the gaps. Yes, and sometimes our kids listen to other people better than they listen to us. So if we have the people surrounding them that are saying the same thing that we're saying, they may listen to what those other people say before they've listened to what we have already told them. They may- Absolutely ... it's kinda like, it's, it's sorta like the people who you let the idea, it's you've presented the idea, but they'll only go with it when they think it's their idea. Right. So it's sort of that same concept there, where you put the- Exactly ... surround the kids with other people who are given the same idea, and you can make it think like it's their idea. Yeah. I'm gonna call- And this is the way I've partnered with, , s- like even their, , youth pastor. Like, I'm not above, like, go... I've gone to the youth pastor and I said, you know, like, h- , honoring my kids, like what they've trusted me with. But also, like, going to our, we have Pastor Elliot. Elliot, like, , you, it might be helpful to know that Jackson is going through this particular thing at school. And then Elliot can say, "Got it," and he's able to, to talk to Jackson and check in on him on things that, , that he can talk, as a fellow dude, you know? Yeah. An older guy that Jackson looks up to, he can talk to him about those things that maybe he f- might feel uncomfortable talking with his mom about. Yeah. So as Christian moms who want to raise amazing kids for the glory of God, there can be a lot of emotional, spiritual, relational challenges. How would you speak to that mom who wants to help her kids through all those emotional, relationship, s- spiritual challenges, and still have them come out on the other side as amazing? Yeah. , ?I think some of the best advice I've, I've ever received is just to keep the communication lines open and to talk, talk with our kids openly about anything and everything. And sometimes that's, like, listening to the monotony of hearing their Pokemon stories so that, like, so we can hear, so they come to us about the, the, the bigger things. And, , but also being open and candid about, , conversations to prepare them for the things that will come. , So for example, I was at a, , I was at a... heard a speaker talking about, , talking about the exposure of kids to pornography and to, , profanity and drugs and all these things that we as parents want to, to keep them from them, and sometimes we're afraid to talk about those kind of things because we're like, "I don't want to introduce them to something that they don't know about." But the reality is our kids will experience those things. It's a matter... It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. So talking to them and reassuring them like, "Hey, here's a thing that you should be aware of." If you see it, when you see it, you don't need to be scared, you don't need to be ashamed. This is a thing that, that, , that is, is not okay. , But come talk to me about it. Because sometimes kids, like, can get exposed to things like pornography, for example, and when they see it, they have never been prepared for it. They're shocked, they feel shame, and they spiral within. , So i- it's better to have that open communication and talk to them about when somebody shows you this is how I would like you to respond, and That you can feel safe coming to me and talking to me about it. There'll be no judgment. , ?I'm a safe space where you can come and ask me questions. That is so good. It reminds me of the story about this family that was going on a trip, and the mom and dad left a little bit earlier than the kids. And the mom and dad were going down the road, and there was some road construction. There was like a pothole in the road, and they called back to the kids that had left later than them and said, "Hey, you might want to take a different route because there's a problem up here." And so- Right ... it's not that the parents were necessarily smarter, it's just that they were a little bit further down the road. Right. And if our kids were to understand that us as parents are, we're only smarter, so to speak, because we're a little bit further down the road, and- Right ... give them the evidence to listen to our wisdom, to listen to us. And also, I love how you, how you brought about, you know, talking to your kids before somebody else talks to them. Yeah. Talking to them and giving them language that they can use when they see the certain thing. , We teach our kids stranger danger, you know? Mm-hmm. Danger when they see strangers. We need to teach our kids danger when they see other things, too, and if those other things are unspoken such as pornography or drugs or alcohol and things like that, if we don't speak to them the truth about those things, they'll know that it's in our vocabulary, and they- Right will not come to us for the, for that guidance and that wisdom. It's having ?those conversations about the why and not just the, "Don't do it," you know? , Because then it just becomes the forbidden fruit. We're talking about, , the destruction, , the harm it does. I- i- j- just talk about all the whys and, and helping to realize that this is not, , this is not normal. This is not something everybody does. This is something that the world will try to convince you is good, but it's distorted. And, , and explaining the harm that could be, at an age-appropriate level. , But , I have talked to dear friends of mine, , i don't know if it's naivety or if it's, , if it's fear or, or whatever the case might be, but they say like, "Oh, I just trust my kids," you know, all that kind of stuff. I trust my kids, too. I've got good kids, but I don't trust the world that's in their pocket when they're carrying around phones. I don't ca- I don't trust the, , the kids that have, have been through trauma that are going to school with them. So, I, am hypervigilant. I'm using all the resources in my, at my disposal to, to monitor. And, and having those proactive conversations with the assumption that more likely than not, just looking statistically, they will be exposed to these things. So I wanna put all the tools I can in their belt to prepare them for when that happens, how they w- how they can respond in a health- ?in a healthy way. Yes, and understanding, putting in their pocket also your love and- Yeah ... the knowledge that you love them more than their friend at school that's trying to get- Right ... them to do something destructive. You love them more than the TikTok video that is giving them a different message than what you want to proclaim. And so- Right ... , establishing that love at a young age and that knowledge that discipline is not hatred, discipline is actually love, instruction is actually love, and establishing- Yeah ... that ahead of time before it becomes a struggle will help in that surrender of our kids. Yeah. How, how have you seen God at work through struggles, especially in seasons that did not feel easy or clear at the time? How did walking by the Spirit help you navigate those seasons? , There's so many times that I ?just think, like, How do people who don't know the Lord make it through these circumstances? Because we all face tough things. And there have been times, , you know, w- professionally and in my faith walk, but also with my kids where there was just deep, deep heartache. And, and I just had to lean on the, lean on the love of God and say, "I don't understand what's happening right now. I don't understand how we got here. , But, but Your love is carrying, carrying me through." , You know, I went through, , my daugh- my older daughter went through a time of, of self-harm because she was dealing with some things that I didn't, I didn't know that she had been dealing with. , 'Cause again, the world will come after them. And, - Gosh, like I felt like a failure as a mom. I felt like how did I not see this coming? How was I not able to protect her? And I had, just had to trust and show grace to myself, show grace to her, show grace to the people involved and say, "Okay, I'm just gonna lean on the Holy Spirit and know that you love her, you love the people involved, you love me, and we're just going to, to lean, , let you carry us through this ?because we can't walk through it on our own." Yeah. So you kept trusting. You kept trusting even when you could not see the hand of God. And I think in today's world, when something doesn't work, we just kinda give up on it. If, if a- Yeah ... appliance stops working, we just throw it away and get something different or get something new. Right. How, what helped you to keep trusting God when you couldn't see what he was doing, when you couldn't see the profit in trusting him? What helped you to keep trusting God? Well, one thing ?was to lean on those disciplines I'd already established. So making sure that e- when everything in me wanted to just stay in bed and crawl under the covers, to, to go be with God's people and to, and to, , to, to be open with godly women about, "This is the struggle I'm facing." And, , they were able to lift, lift me up. You know, when I think of Moses, I think of that beautiful story of the people hol- of, of, of God holding his hands up to pray when he c- couldn't hold them up. And in those moments, I leaned heavily on the community of God to, not everybody, and not to broadcast our, , our business to everybody, but to lean into those deep, godly friendships of people that said, "This is the hurt I'm facing," and to cry with them, and to let them cry with me and pray over me. And, , I just think that there's such beauty in the community of God, of being able to rely on one an- one another. That only happens when we're authentic and when we tear down those barriers and we're real. And, , and, and with God as well, of saying, "God, I'm not okay, and I don't understand this. I'm mad right now," you know? Like, and, and getting real with God and allowing him to ?minister to us in, in our rawness. Authenticity. You just used that word. There is a lot of authenticity in your writing. Why is it important to you to share the personal stories and honest reflections instead of only the polished answers? Yeah. I think it's very important to ?me because I think that we, , we always assume that other people always have it all together or, , and, or that if I'm feeling this way, like, I must be less of a Christian because- 'Cause I'm mad at God right now, or I'm, I'm sad, or I really screwed up. You know, whatever the case might be, like, when we, , when we're authentic, we are allowing our story to speak to others and communicate that, that w- I, I understand how you feel, I've felt that way before, and here's what I've found. So, , if I pretend I've got it all together, then I'm putting an unrealistic burden on another mom who feels like, well, if it, you know, i- i- if He- Heather has faith and she's got it all together, you know, like, it's, that's just unrealistic. So I wanna make sure that I'm not, again, be- c- having discernment and not putting all of our business out there, protecting, like, my kids' confidentiality and privacy and all those sorts of things, but being in a w- authentic in a way where I can say, "Look, I'm messy, you're messy. Let's be messy together and, and figure out w- ?how God wants to work through our lives." Yeah, and in a home, how, how can a mom create that in the walls of her home with her children? How can she create a home where her children see honest faith, not pretend perfection, and experience genuine, , Christian mom encouragement in the home? How can a Christian mom faithfully encourage her children in that same regard? Well, listen, our ?kids see us at our best and our worst, so there's definitely, like, the messiest out there. But acknowledging that and, and, and, and circling back, back when we've messed up, and saying, "You know what? I wasn't who I w- , who I aspire to be in that moment. I lost my cool," or, "I made a decision that I didn't think through," whatever the case might be. , And coming back to them and saying, like, "I'm sorry." There's real power in that, of just, just saying that we didn't hold it together. Because if we, want them to be people who g- give genuine apologies and own up to what they are, we have to model that first. And that starts with coming back to them and saying, listen, "I still hold you to this standard. I didn't meet that standard, ?and I messed up, and I'm going to do better." Yeah. It's kinda like the Paul mentality, "I don't do what I want to do, and the things that I want to do, I don't do." Right. So as a mom, we're, we're confessing that ourselves. And ? ?? Faith Mom, if you're enjoying this conversation and would love more faith-based content like this to support you on your faith parenting journey, be sure to subscribe to the channel. When you subscribe, it helps us know what content is encouraging you most, and it allows us to continue creating Biblical resources for you as a Christian mom who want to grow in your faith and raise your children for the glory of ?God. Now, Heather, you wrote a book called Money and Spirit: Surrendering Our Finances to the Work of the Holy Spirit. What inspired you to write this book, and how does it connect to walking by the Spirit in everyday life? Yeah, this book came ?about, , I work, I've worked for an organization called Barnabas Foundation, and so we, , we received a grant to provide resources to, , to the church, and I mean that globally. , And, and we started praying about, "God, what is the need? What is the thing that we could speak on to, to meet that?" We felt like the answer to that prayer was God putting in our minds a s- a Bible study on what, , what God has to say about money. , And there's all kinds of books out there about tactical things, save better, work harder, invest, all those sorts of things, and that's not what this book is about. This book is all about , what it looks like, just asking what... Somebody had asked kind of a provocative question about what is the, what does it look like if the fruit of the Spirit, , is involved in how we view and manage our money? , So we look at the, the book really looks at the, this in terms of, , we treat money as a separate subject. If I trust God with my career, I trust Him with my family, I trust Him with all these things, but we treat money as outside of that. And the reality is that God cares about every aspect of our lives, including our, our financial lives. , So the question becomes, like if I am seeking the Holy Spirit and surrendering my finances to Him and say, saying, "God, you gave me this. What do you want me to do with this?" , How does love show up in that? How does patience show up in that? How does self-control, gentleness, kindness, faithfulness? , What does it look like to truly lean into the Holy Spirit and, and allowing Him to transform our hearts so that even money, , starts to look, , ?more godly?- Was there a particular moment or experience that helped you realize that finances were deeply connected to surrender? Yes. , So ?one of the, one of the stories I tell in the book, , I, it, the, the book is really, like it's, it's written of these principles, but it's, it's become my, it's, it's my personal story as well. So I talk about in the book how, , early in our marriage, , we had spent quite a bit. We'd spent beyond our means, and not with crazy things, but just paying bills on credit cards and all these sorts of things. And we had gotten to a place where the debt, , the weight of debt was just overwhelming us, and , and we were just lost. We didn't know what to do. The pressure was creating bickering. It was creating anxiety and depression and all these sorts of things. And my husband and I came to a place where we were just, like lost, didn't know what to do, and, and prayed, "God," like, "We've, we've made a royal mess of things. , What... , we need your help, and we're surrendering this to you. Teach us. Show us. , We want to, we want to live and use our, our finances, want to reflect, , our trust in you." So because of that, like we we a- had, like just crazy answers to prayer, and it wasn't like... I think the people would immediately assume those answers to prayer came in the forms of checks or came in the f- a windfall, and it wasn't like that. God brought people into our, our lives that helped show us better ways and helped, helped us work on self-control and contentment and peace and, and, and, and just all these things and brought resources in our lives to learn how to, , live within our means and save and, , and it, it was transformative. , We o- over, , over a period of a couple years paid off everything and, , and that... Well, more than a couple years, but we just, we, we did this over time and, and as we did, , it was w- what you were describing earlier. In that surrender, we found freedom. All of a sudden, money wasn't this, , this boogeyman right behind us, you know? It... We, we would have... Like I remember the first time on my minivan that a tire blew, and we had money set aside for that kind of emergency, and how freeing that was that, oh, my goodness, this is not devastating right now. It's not great. I don't wanna have a busted tire, but I have money set aside, and it's not going to compromise ?whether I can pay my bills this week or not. Yeah, and that is so freeing when that happens and when we put ourselves in that position of freedom because we have surrendered. And the book you wrote begins with a story about a public battle of wills with your preschooler. How does that experience reflect the way we often view and manage money? Yeah, I tell the ?story of Jackson. We were at the happiest place on Earth. We were at Disney World, and he was sunburnt and melting down, and he wanted his own way. And, and, and he was just, he was just fighting me tooth and nail, and we had this very public, like, like, , he would th- he was throwing a tantrum, and I would pick him up, and I would sit him on the seat and time out again. He'd go, he'd be like, "Ah." And he, like, wanted to do his own thing. I d- I don't even remember what started it. Probably wanted a cookie or something. But, but he kept, like, just throwing it because he wanted his own way. And I just kept saying, "Jackson, if you will just sit and calm down and trust me, I want to have fun with you. I want to go, like, ride rides. I wanna go see characters. I wanna do all these things." And, and, but, but it was a battle of his will versus mine, and in doing so, he was putting himself in extended prison. , , a time out. But, , but, like, even though, like, it was such a preschooler thing, I think we're all like that at times in our lives, where we just want our own way, and we're fighting for it, and we don't recognize that in doing th- doing that, we're keeping ourselves in bondage, where God is right there saying, like, "If you'll just trust me and listen to me and take a mom- moment to hear what I have to say to you, fun and joy and peace is right around the corner. And I want that for you if you'll just, just let me, , ?let me lead the way." Yeah. That mean ... That's what it means to be following the Spirit, and walking by the Spirit- Right ... is walking in that daily surrender. , For the faith mom who feels overwhelmed, ashamed, or unsecure, or unsure about her financial situation, what is one small, meaningful step she can take , to begin aligning her finances with her faith and values while walking by the Spirit? I truly ?think that it starts with a simple but not easy task, but the simple task of surrendering it and asking, "I, can't do this on my own. I need your help. I need your guidance," and truly surrendering that and saying, "God," like, "I want to do things differently. I wanna do things. I wanna quit being the toddler that's throwing a fit. I want to follow your ways, so teach me what that looks like." And He will reveal those things. , And, and then the s- the second thing that I would do is, like, look, look around you for the people and resources He's putting in you, in your path, that He... That He will... , , that He has not, again, designed us to be, , in isolation, but to be in community. So to look for, like, is there a trusted friend or, , if you're married, your spouse, like, getting real about it and, and being honest and authentic and saying, like, like, "I'm not okay," like, "and this is what I'm trying to figure out." And I guarantee, and when you do that, you will be surprised, , by the response of people saying, "I've been there too." And, , you know, we think that everybody has it together, but talking about it, , and not only for accountability, but for encouragement and for learning. We can learn so much from one another. , And that's why, in this book, it was so important to me that there is a lot of teaching and scripture reading, but there's also a discussion guide because I think, I think there's power in having these kind of conversations with other believers who are trying to figure it out too. , So this... It's... Sometimes money is really, really hard to talk about, so this gives, , this gives questions and thoughts to help guide those conversations to take the awkwardness ?out and to get real and how can we grow and improve together. And the mom may feel like she has to fix everything at one time and she can't begin until she's got it all fixed. What would you say to that mom? Yeah, no, ?you can't fix it all first of all. You focus on what is the thing right... What is the next right step? What is the next thing I can do? And for us, we actually so we pray... , just to take a step back, when we, , when we prayed that prayer, "God, we've made a mess," and we went into a restaurant right after that because we were still spending money we shouldn't spend. We went into a restaurant, and the, our immediate answer to prayer was a couple was sitting there, and they're like, "We just came from..." It was Financial Peace University. Said, "We just came from Financial Peace University, and we, we used to fight and bicker about money, and it worried about it, and, and we went to this, and this changed everything." And, , Robert and I, like our jaws hit the floor 'cause we were like, "Did that, that just happen?" You know, like, so for us, , that particular resource, and there's lots of resources out there, but that particular resource helped us to start, for example, the debt snowball. That was a, a huge concept for us, to pay off the smallest thing. , You know, we owed a couple hundred dollars. Pay that off, and then use that to pay towards the next thing, and then pay that off, and then use that to pay towards the next thing. And it was doing that, the debt snowball, like we were able to take care of the big things ?eventually because we had started with the small. Yeah. It gives you more freedom to pay more, - Right ... toward the larger debts once the little ones are taken care of. It's, , I was just reminded, you know, the Bible says, "The little foxes are what spoils the vine." The little debts are sometimes what spoils things. If you get rid of those, you can take care of the big ones, and then you have it all, all taken care of. Exactly. What does it look like to find peace and joy in Christ even when your circumstances have not yet changed? Yeah. It's peace ?beyond all understanding, you know? It's, it's recognizing that, , you know, when you think of the, the three men in the fire, like, they said, , "We know that God can rescue us from the fire, but even if he doesn't, we will continue to serve him." And he did, , and he was right there in the fire with them. And, and I think that that's, that's where I find my peace, is knowing that, , even if I go through the hardest things, I am not alone. God is there with me. He's holding me. He's carrying me. He's guiding me. , And that's, that's where my peace comes from. That, that, that no matter what this world can throw at me, , they cannot take my soul. They cannot take away the love of God. They cannot take away his provision and peace. And, and when the worst things get thrown at us, we can know that God is there, and he loves us, and that ?he can redeem all things for his good. That is so good. It reminds me of the scripture in Romans 8: verse 6, "Your mind is governed by the spirit, not by what you feel, not by what you experience." And so as, , as you have so kindly reminded us, moms can practice that spirit-led motherhood of having a life guided by the spirit, not by what they can see and feel and hear, , experienced, , physically, but what they can see- Yeah and have their mind on spiritually. Yeah. Absolutely. What would you say to the Christian mom who's feels like she is not special enough or spiritual enough, organized enough, strong enough to be used by God in her home? What Christian mom encouragement would you offer her today for the mom who's listened, they've gotten this far, and they still feel like, " I'm not enough"? Well, I would start by ?saying neither am I. I'm not enough. Like, I c- none of us are. And regardless of what we do, you know, whatever decision we make, God ... our mom guilt is a huge thing. We think, like, "If I stay home, I should've worked. If I, if I work, I should've stayed home. If I put my kids in public school, I should've done private." You know, whatever the case might be, we think, we think that we're not enough. But I ... but God knows all, He sees all, He created you, and He gave you those kids. You are the mom for those kids. He, , he gave them the gift of you as a mother. , So trust Him in that. Trust Him that, that God, , that God wants to use you, , in ways that no other woman in the world can minister to those kids. , But it starts with asking God, "How do you want me to just do these kids that you've given me? How do you want me to love them? How do you want me to, to show kindness to them?" , But nobody else can do your job because God, ?God specifically created you and created your kids for one another. Oh, - what I hear from what you said, Heather, is that is the very first part of surrender, is just surrendering to the position God has put you in, and just leaning on Him in that position, and find the fullness and the freedom that He provides right where you are. That is so good. Absolutely. Heather, where can our Faith Mom community connect with you and find your books, your writing, your resources? Yeah, ?the best way to find me is to go to, , daylightcreative.org, , and that is where... I'm, I'm on Facebook. I dabble a little in, in Instagram. I'm not real good about keeping up with that. But, , but you can find all of my socials, you can find my blog, you can find my book ?all at daylightcreative.org. Heather, thank you so much for this conversation. I love the reminder that surrender is not weakness, it is trust. It is not losing your purpose, it is finding our purpose in Christ. Be sure to check out all of Heather's resources. We've linked them in the description. ?And Faith Mom, ?as you go into the rest of your day, remember this: You do not have to hold everything together on your own. You can bring your heart, your home, your children, your finances, your weakness, your ordinary everyday life to surrender to the Lord. Whether you are pursuing spirit-led motherhood or navigating the challenges of Christian motherhood, or just parenting as one of our many moms of middle schoolers, God is faithful to lead you. Daily surrender may look small, but it teaches your children something powerful. It shows them that freedom is not found in control, perfection, or performance. True freedom is found in walking by the Spirit, trusting God's leadership, and obeying God one step at a time. And if you need a little Christian mom encouragement today, remember that God does not call you to do motherhood in your own strength. He invites you to walk closely with Him and depend on His grace every day. So maybe today, the question is simple: Lord, what are you asking me to surrender today? Thank you for joining us on the Faith Mom Mentor, where we encourage moms to know God deeply and teach their children faithfully.
