?If you're a Christian mom raising a tween with anxiety, ADHD, emotional overwhelm, or big emotions, this conversation will help you understand what's really happening in your child's brain and heart. Today, we're combining biblical parenting, mental health wisdom, emotional regulation tools, and practical parenting advice so you can lead your family with peace, confidence, and faith instead of fear. To help us with this topic, we have Rayanne Johnson. Rayanne is a pediatric mental health specialist, nurse practitioner, and homeschooling mother of three. Her superpower is taking hard neuroscience concepts and pairing them with core biblical truths, and sharing that in a way that is approachable and understandable. She equal parts biblical, practical, and clinical, and desires to provide tools and resources to help support moms and minds. Rayanne, welcome to the Faith Mom Mentor. ?Thank you so much for having me. I am excited. My favorite thing is to talk about the lens of the gospel and view our brains that way. So I'm excited to talk to your audience and give them the parenting pep talk that they didn't know they needed. Well, I am glad you're here, and it's so interesting. When we met just a moment ago, we realized we were both from North Carolina, so that is exciting. Let's start here for our audience. How should Christian moms think about anxiety, depression, and ADHD through the lens of Christianity and the Bible? ?So I love that question. I love to remind folks that God made our brains, and God doesn't make mistakes. And so in the beginning, God created the heavens and the Earth, he made man in his image, but we only made it three chapters before creation fell. Sin entered, and things broke, and sometimes we break in our brains, sometimes we break in our body, sometimes we break in our relationships. This doesn't mean that you are broken. You are a redeemed child of God. It does mean that the percentage of neurotransmitters might be off. And so because of sin, we have these pain points. We have these hard things. We have these, , big emotions. We have Executive functioning challenges, et cetera, because of sin. However, just like in our sin, God doesn't leave us there. Where the ideal is lacking, grace abounds. And so ideally, we wouldn't have sinned in the garden, but grace abounded through Jesus on the cross. Similarly, ideally, we would never have anxious thoughts or looping spirals or an inability to focus and concentrate. But where that ideal is lacking, grace abounds, and the Lord gives us an abundance of anxiety references in His words. He tells us how to focus. He reminds us that self-control is a fruit of His Spirit, et cetera. And so just remembering it's all part of His good design and it never ends in ashes is a really sweet way of viewing mental health through the lens of the gospel. ? mental health awareness, , , why is mental health awareness so important for parents today? ?I think oftentimes we, especially in the church, are so shame-riddled. Like, "Oh, if I have enough faith, I just won't be anxious." But anxiety is not from a lack of faith, it's from a lack of serotonin. And so we can deeply love Jesus and still be really anxious about what comes next. I think mental health awareness is helpful because, we don't want our kids suffering in silence. We don't want us to be like, "I'm the only parent who ever snapped at my kid." Nope, promise you're not. We need to bring this to the light because we were meant to do this in community. And so when we can bring it to the light, admit the areas that we're struggling, lean on our village that's gonna disciple our kids and point them to Jesus, then we can carry this mental health load together and it's so much sweeter. ?It is. Now sometimes kids with emotional,, challenges or mental challenges, ADHD and such, have just big emotions. So how, through the lens of the gospel, do you help people calm down kids that have the big emotions? ?So first, I have all kids understand their brain. Even little first and second graders, I talk to them about neurotransmitters, and I'm like, "Are you ready for neuroscience?" And they're like, "I don't even know what that is." I'm like, "Don't worry, you will by the end." So neuro, brain, transmitter, trans, across. And so these are messengers in our brain that sends messages across. And so I have a triangle that I draw that talks about three big, bossy neurotransmitters or messengers. Messengers have three types of messages. Inhibitory, that means stop. Excitatory, that's like the pep rally neurotransmitter. And then modulatory, that just changes the message. And so when we can talk about our neurotransmitters, then it gives us vocabulary for what's going on in our brains. And so it de-villainizes the big emotions, and then puts the onus on, like, wait, it was just a dopamine-driven decision. So I go through and talk about serotonin. It is a neurotransmitter that's made in our gut, and it asks two questions: Am I sad or am I scared? And if the answer is yes, we might call it anxiety or depression. The second is dopamine. So dopamine is lovely. It says, it sounds like Tim McGraw. It says, "I like it, I love it, I want some more of it." So it's responsible for reward and motivation. But a brain with ADHD has low levels of all the time dopamine called tonic. So your phasic dopamine is working harder. That might mean why you're wiggling or poking your sibling or squawking or X, Y, or Z. And so when we have vocabulary to be like, this is the symptom, but this is the why behind it, it gives it so much more clarity for how to change the behavior and why the behavior happened in the first place. And then the third big, bossy neurotransmitter is norepinephrine, sometimes called noradrenaline. And norepinephrine, its job is to keep us safe, and it's constantly scanning the room. And it doesn't know that you weren't chased by a bear. It doesn't know that your mom just said, "Please put your socks in the basket." It sends these false alarms that you might be in stress mode. And our stress response is usually fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. And so when we look at that and see this is the behavior, you're melting down, you're dysregulated, et cetera, but let's zoom out and see why, then we can talk about ways to train your amygdala and get that neuro- norepinephrine response a little less intense, or ways to make dopamine-driven decisions that aren't going to disrupt your class, et cetera. ?So how can parents help children develop those emotional intelligence and coping skills? How can they, how can parents help kids understand this more? ?I love a regulation station. So in the center of my living room, we have a sectional and a fireplace, and in the coffee table , there's a regulation station. So my kids know if they have big feelings, they can go pull it out. It has 20 diffuse cards. So it's like blow some bubbles, take a deep breath, rub the dryer ball down your leg for a sensory experience. Go have some ice water. So it gives 20 ideas that can help diffuse, and there's physical tangible things in the basket like, building with brain flakes or blowing bubbles, having a piece of chewing gum 'cause that's sensory input. , A weighted eye mask, their Yoto player that they love so they can listen to music. So all these ways to help them calm their brains and bodies down of their own choosing. So my kids now at nine, 10, and seven, I will say, "Hey, can you go choose a tool?" And they'll go to the basket and pick something to help them calm down. Because when they're not heightened, we've talked about that. We flex that muscle. Even I as a whole grown adult have been like, "Mom's gonna take a walk because I'm getting very frustrated," and they know. We're allowed to have feelings. I remind my kids, all feelings are valid, all behaviors are not. And so you can be mad. Jesus was mad. It was righteous anger. The Bible says be angry but do not sin. And so like you can experience anger, but how can we respond to our anger in a way that doesn't hurt ourselves or others? So equipping them with that is really helpful. I also teach my little clients and my own kids about Stuart the Starfish. So there's all sorts of research about how our breath can calm our brains, and so there's the Marines use it as combat breathing to just help calm. So when our amygdala is like, " Beej is there," our- we're not making rational decisions. Our amygdala's hanging out. Our,, upstairs brain is unplugged, and so we want to calm that down so that our prefrontal cortex that makes rational decisions is more on board. And so the easiest way to do that is by taking some big deep breaths. So you can either do like square breathing where you inhale, hold it, exhale, hold it. Some people do that with a Bible verse like the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. Other things, Stuart is very easy for little kids 'cause you can't leave your hand at home, and when you r- go up Stuart's leg, you breathe in and exhale going down. And that just helps reset that fight or flight response so that we can calm and make rational decisions. ?That is so good. That is so practical, and I love how you have made that so doable for everyone. There's not a single parent that can't explain that to their kid, and there's not a single kid that cannot grasp that. So that is excellent. Thank you for sharing those tangible visual things that we can do. Yeah. My whole goal is for parents to walk away and be like, "What can I try today?" , What change can I implement? And so we want it nice and low. Like, easy. It's just like, you know how parents introduce different foods to their kids. They don't just introduce it one time. They introduce it multiple times, and then after a while, their child will pick up on that food. So this is no different than how we feed- Right ... our kids. So yeah. Regarding ADHD, What are some of the common signs with ADHD that parents should notice? ?I think the most common signs are impacting their scholastic, their social, or their safety. And so things we know that kids have a big desire to move, especially little boys. And so I am... Just being active is not a red flag to me, but being active such that they can't sit at the dinner table, being so active that they can't sit down in church, being disruptive, constantly making noise all the time, getting poor scores on their academics even though they're so smart, but it seems like they just can't get the information from their brain to the paper, et cetera. So when you look at the DSM criteria, the big purple manual that governs what I can diagnose, the specific diagnostic criteria are, like, difficulty with follow-through. Do you have a fifth grader who still forgets to pack their lunch, or , some of those executive functioning things. , Difficulty with initiating homework or completing a task. All of those would be signs that I would look for. Any impulsivity that becomes dangerous, so like a kid who's running in traffic, or elementary student who climbs and jumps off all the things, or, handwriting that's really rough is another reason why some people come see me. Those would be some of the flags. ?So how do ADHD symptoms affect, relationships, school, and emotions? How is all that involved? ?So if we think about ADHD and its impact on dopamine, we're making a lot of dopamine-driven decisions, and so sometimes that's, pulling your sister's hair just to see what would happen and get a reaction out of her. Sometimes it's getting your thought out before your friend could have time, so there's decreased reciprocity of conversation, which is hard in relationships. Sometimes it's, having a rigidity of thought, where it's really hard to pivot. I have one rule for how we play at recess, and if you're not gonna play that way, then people might not wanna play with them, et cetera. And so it impacts our self-esteem sometimes in those, they think after they have done the action. They act first, think later. So sometimes that impacts their relationships, and sometimes it impacts their own, , "Nobody likes me," or, "I'm just lazy." I would much rather we did diagnostic assessments and got an appropriate label than kids feel really bad about themselves. You're not lazy. You're inattentive, my man, and it's okay. We got tools for that. . ?So how can a mom with these inattentive kids that may feel like they don't have confidence or may be telling theirselves that they don't have confidence, how can moms build confident kids while still, keeping the kindness and the boundaries? ? go historical to prevent going hysterical. So one of my kids has ADHD, and I love this time of year going to look back at how far they've come. Like, look at your reading score here and now. But then, not just praising the outcome, but I'm like, think, let's look at how many hours of reading practice you've logged, buddy. You have 1,000 hours on your Kindle. I'm so proud of you. You've worked so hard. So really praising the effort, 'cause , that is within their control, how hard they're working, how much they persevere, how diligent they are. All of those things are within our kids' control. Their fluency passage, their fluency rate, not in their control. Their scores on the Iowa's, not in their control. And so we want to encourage them in the ways that we see their diligence. We need to remind them that their worth never wavers. Like, who you are is far more important than how you perform. ?, that is so good. So are there daily habits that strengthen emotional wellness in families?? Oh, yes., There's actually so much data about sitting around the dinner table together. So families that have dinner together at least four nights a week have decreased rates of anxiety and depression, just eating meals together. Great. And That is a high priority in our family, but sometimes that's a charcuterie board at the baseball field. You know? Like, we're gonna eat together, we're all gonna sit on the same picnic blanket and look each other in the eye and thank the Lord for our food together, but it might be seven minutes, and that's okay. We let the bottom 20% go and let good enough be good enough. So eating together. . Starting your day with what can we ask God for today, what do you need God's help with, is one. We end every bedtime with what's the best part of your day and the hardest part of your day, and we thank God for the best part, and we ask God for help with the hardest part. That is a way to, flex the muscle of emotional resilience. I also , a really big fan of speaking kindness to one another. And so when my kids use harsh words with each other, I remind them, "What are your words for?" And they would say, "Give grace to those who hear." And I say, "I don't think that gave grace. Can you say three grace-giving things about your sister or about your brother," et cetera. And that often helps reset their vocabulary. And when you hear a peer say, like, "You're so kind," or, "You're so smart," it really does help that kid's confidence too. ?Those are so practical. How can family discipleship help children continue that peace and stability? ?How we disciple our kids is through showing that more is caught than taught. And so we are modeling for our kids what our relationship with the Lord looks like. They come downstairs and see Dad reading his Bible in the playroom. They hear Mom with her dwell- Bible app while she's doing dishes, et cetera. And so when we give them the tools of rooted faith, like being in a body of believers, walking together in community, daily Bible time, an intentional prayer life, et cetera, when we model those tools and make those tools accessible for them, then they get to rely on the Lord. Your focus is not completely up to you. Self-control is a fruit of His Spirit. And so if we're lacking self-control, we can ask the Lord to help. When we mess up or get a- angry or frustrated, we can repair because Christ first forgave us. We can rely on the Lord. It is the basis by which we can repair and rebuild and remind one another that we are all fallen and sinful, but the Lord didn't leave us there. He gave us Jesus, and Jesus is with Him in heaven, and the Holy Spirit is sent to dwell with us. And so just a reminder that they don't have to do it alone, that they have us as parents on their team, and they have the Holy Spirit indwelling too. ?Yes. Two great cheerleaders, because mom and the Holy Spirit are ready for the kid's success. There's nobody that wants success more than them - Exactly . jesus is interceding on their behalf. Yeah. I think that was the coolest thing, when my kids realized that. Yeah. Like, "Mom, this is just so hard." And I was like, "Did you know Jesus is praying for you?" Like, that is so cool. . ?How should parents think about medication for ADHD? ? Medication is a tool. If you had strep throat, I would have to give you amoxicillin, unless you're allergic, strep, we can't leave it unmedicated. ADHD, totally can. It, it- medicines are not required, they are a tool. And so I remind families when they come to see me, I say, "Think of me like Home Depot. We're just seeing what tools would be helpful." And so we can think of medications as grace. We can use them to help. If I need glasses to help myself see clear, I can see okay without them, but I see much better with glasses on. Or I think of them as, like, the canoe. Medicine are a canoe, but you're still doing the paddling. And so medicines have a place. They, are a great supplement to all the additional things we're doing. So adding medicine without changing to make sure are they getting high-quality sleep, are their screens reduced, are they eating a nutritious diet, have they moved their body, are they getting in the sunshine, have they tried counseling or executive functioning coaching, all those things, I would recommend doing those things first. But sometimes there's still gaps, and medication can fill in the gaps. And so my prescribing philosophy is lowest dose for shortest duration. I never wanna change a kid's personality. And so there's, for ADHD specifically, there's two big camps of medicines. Stimulants that stimulate the production, non-stimulants that block the reuptake of those neurotransmitters we talked about earlier. Stimulants are like the faucet turning on. Non-stimulants are like the drain plug at the bottom, and they work in different pathways to help provide more dopamine. And if we have more dopamine on our own, we're not making dopamine-driven decisions. And so they are a great tool to help your kids really achieve their full potential, but they also aren't forever. Methylphenidate, you could take it today and never take it again. You know by lunchtime if it was a good fit. And so- Sometimes if you feel like your kid is working so hard, but they're jumping eight foot up a 10-foot wall, maybe this is the last two feet. ?That is so good. . To give permission for your child not to struggle, I think is- Yes ... what I've heard right there. So also, how about additional support like child psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, behavior specialists? When should families seek those additional resources? ?I have been a nurse practitioner for 12 years, and no one's been sad that they had more information. And so I think if your mom gut is like, "Hmm, something just feels off", there is no con to getting evaluated sooner rather than later, and just getting more data. Even if you do nothing with it, but have it for your own validity and your own resources, I think knowing the best letters to describe your kids' brains is often so helpful as you're making parenting decisions or parenting on the same page. Talking to your pediatrician, they'll do ages and stages questionnaires or, different screenings. If any of those flag positively, I really love occupational therapy. I think it's a wonderful tool to help with emotional regulation. Kids love it. , My son did occupational therapy for fine motor skills, and was, like, deeply grieved when he graduated. He was like, "But can I please go back and see Ms. Lindsay?" Like, "But buddy, you, you're done." It was great for him. And so all of these therapies and resources are generally really well-received, and kids love them, and parents feel supported. And so I think more information is better than less, and early intervention is better than late. ?I agree. I think these tools give kids the confidence to go forward and, language for how they feel. I do have to - ask you, you've mentioned about how faith and practical all work together. So what is your favorite Bible verse for anxious or overwhelmed- moms? ?Okay. So I love this question. Isaiah 26:3 says, "He will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is fixed on Him." And it's really hard to worship and worry, at the same time. And so when I'm prone to spiral, I can remember He will give me His peace when my mind is fixed on Him. So Isaiah 26:3 is probably my number one draft pick. I also like Habakkuk 3:17-19, you don't think of that one a lot because it's like there's no cattle in the stall, and the vine, they're empty. It like starts as a downer, but then it ends with, "Yet I will rejoice in the Lord of my salvation," and that's just really encouraging to me. 'Cause I can plug in any, , though my kid may not read on grade level, or though my house may never be clean, , we can put in any, all those, yet I will rejoice. I will trust in the God of my salvation. ?Because you know who God is. Right. Because you have read His word. It's not that you're just looking- Yes ... for the quick fix. No, it- But your study and diligence of reading the word of God and ingraining that within your heart and your mind is what enables you. I was just gonna ask you a follow-up question to your first verse there, whose mind is stayed on God. So what are some practical ways that you keep your mind stayed on God? ?So I have habit stacks. If you've ever read any, like, James Clear, Atomic Habits. So when I drink my coffee, I pray the same prayer every time. And I drink my coffee every day. ... Very diligent with that one. So I have it stacked. I know that I'm gonna drink coffee, and then I have it stacked what I'm going to pray for and how I pray for my day, et cetera. So that's one. I have it stacked. Another is that we, our discipline is rooted in scripture. And so that's another way that I can, if you hear me discipline my kids, it'll be like, "What are young men called to have?" And they would say, "Self-control." Or, " What are your words for? Give grace to those who hear." So we are constantly reminding ourselves throughout our whole day of what does the Bible say about how we should live with one another, and how can we act in a way that reflects that? So that's another way to,, keep our mind fixed on scripture. And then I love the Dwell Bible app, 'cause it reads the Bible. I love listening to God's word. . They have a, Bible in 30 days plan, and it's like hours of scripture. I did it one December, and it was so cool. Um, 'cause, you know, that's exactly what December needs, is an intensive exercise. . It was just really sweet , , ? all those are great, . rae Anne, it has been wonderful having you on the Faith Mom Mentor. Where can our Faith Mom community connect with you? ?So brainwaveswellness.com, www.brainwaveswellness.com. There's a free ADHD webinar that's like 20 minutes long if you want more nerdy details. I can only go into but so much, but I love talking about it that way. , Brainwaveswellness.com on Instagram and Substack. So find Brainwaves Wellness many, many places, and I would love to hang out with you guys there. And check out my website. There's a lot of freebies. ?I will definitely link those in our description. What final encouragement would you give Christian moms walking through anxiety, ADHD, or emotional struggles with their children? ?I would remind them that it's not gonna be this way forever, and no one is a better parent for your kids than you. The Lord did not make mistakes, and He chose you for them. He also made their brains, and He will use it for His glory and their good. And the middle of the story is the worst time to scrutinize His goodness, and we're all in the middle of the story. So keep going, faithful mama, and remember that it never ends in ashes. ?Oh, that is so good. And ?friend, if you're walking through anxiety, ADHD, emotional overwhelm, or mental health struggles in your home, I pray this conversation reminded you that you are not alone. Through practical tools, biblical parenting, and the hope of the gospel, God can bring peace, wisdom, and steady direction to both you and your child. Keep leaning into Christ, keep showing up in grace, and keep building a home anchored in truth and love. ?Rae Anne, thank you again for being on the Faith Mom Mentor. Thank you for having me. This was wonderful.
