If you're in the middle of Christian parenting, doing your best with biblical parenting, leading family prayer, ?teaching kids Bible stories and building faith at home, what happens when your child starts asking hard questions about Jesus Christ, the Bible, or even the role of the church in their life? Because at some point, every Christian mom raising Christian kids faces it, doubt. Questions about faith, religion, the New Testament, and ?whether what we've taught in Bible study, kids worship, or everyday moments of godly parenting is really true. And if you're honest, it doesn't just challenge your child, it can stir something in your heart, too, touching on deeper questions of faith, identity, and even mental health. So today, we're stepping into that tension because raising godly children isn't about avoiding questions. It's about helping them encounter the truth of Jesus, understanding what they believe, and discover for themselves that Jesus Loves Me isn't just a song. It is a reality shaped by the Holy Spirit and grounded in the truth of scripture. To help us today, we have Constance Hastings. She brings an outsider's perspective to what insiders know about the story of Jesus. Raised by non-religious parents, educated in a Christian school, lover of great literature, teacher of the disadvantaged, ordained in a mainline denomination, mental health counselor outside the church, she aims to make connections, speaking in new places the old voices of meaning. With an edgy voice recognized by those caught in an e-existential dilemma, for those who have never or not been in church for a long time, for those who used to think they knew him, Constance Hasting confronts your concept of one of the most controversial figures who ever existed, and the trouble Jesus means. So, ?Ms. Constance Hasting, thank you for being on the Faith Mom Mentor. We are so glad to have you here today. And I'm equally excited to be here. Thank you for having me. Yes, yes. Your book is called The Trouble With Jesus. For a mom raising a middle schooler, a tween, what is that trouble really? Uh, well, ?that age is the age where children begin to explore and challenge somewhat what they see outside the home. Now, certainly as we raise them, you know, from the time they're babies, and we read to them the Bible stories, and we take them to Sunday school, and we go through the leaflets with them, and, , you know, involved in vacation Bible school. We try and help them learn at home and through the church of who God is and how we know God and Jesus Christ. And that is indeed a holy task. But when you come to that point and you begin to sense that your children may start to have some questions, I'm gonna say right now, rejoice, because that means that they've just not adopted something and not been in a place of true understanding, but they are coming to where the seeds of real faith are going to start to be planted. But like any other muscle, you have to exercise it in order for it to grow stronger, and that's really how you need to approach what is happening with your child. So, don't be alarmed. Be willing to listen. Let them explain what they're thinking, where this is coming from. Some of it may just seem to be very innocuous, but, otherwise, they're not going to be immune from our culture and what our society is saying, and they are going to have deep questions, and they'll, as particularly as they grow, they'll be very quick to point out where there's discrepancy between what we say in faith and what we see people doing. So again, I want to encourage you, and keep in mind that the home must be an open place where these questions can ?be brought. , It is. Now, why do you think middle schoolers specifically start asking those harder questions about Jesus and faith? Well, let ?us remember that, , when Jesus was about 12 years old, , he got separated from his parents, , during, , a Passover festival. And, , you know, they found him in the temple talking with the priest, and I, I... You know, we don't know exactly how that conversation went, but there was probably a lot of challenges that he was bringing there, and they were truly amazed by it. , You know, the... So it is that if, you know, Jesus Christ, as a tween, if you can believe that- would, would have these questions, then .. i believe it actually could be a leading of the Holy Spirit to bring them to that place where they begin to, to question and want to be able to explain in their own hearts who God is and what salvation in Christ ?can be. Yeah. Now, many moms don't feel like they're prepared to answer, or that they don't have the right answer. What would you say to a mom who feels unprepared for their tween's questions? That, ?be honest. Uh, you know, do not feel that you have to have all the answers. But, you know, it's very, um, honest, and, uh, I think a, a child would very much respect if a parent would say to his or her child, "You know, that is a really good question, and I think we need to explore that. So let's, let's talk about what we think may be happening, what further questions there are, and then let's do some reading. Let's go talk to people. Let's see what others say about it." And, um, be honest be- then, you know, that our faith, all our lives, is , that which will be stretched and needs to be strengthened and grown. And to let your child know you're doing this together, that is certainly completing a bond that you have with them and your hopes for them in their own salvation ?and walk. Yeah. So how can a mom create that kind of atmosphere in her home that just welcomes those questions, and how can she tell the difference between is this just rebellion or is it just doubt, questioning? How can she,, differentiate between all that? I'd have ?to say that doubt and rebellion kind of go hand-in-hand sometimes. Yes. Okay. Because we rebel, then we begin to have doubt. And doubts do swell into questions. This is a wrestling that is happening here. But, you know, just as Jacob wrestled with God, so all of us come to that place. And, do not approach it with, um, fear. Do not approach it with resistance. Do not say, "Well, that's not true, and, and we're not gonna have this in this house." You know, go to the kind of extreme. Let it be indeed something that h- he or she may know that this is someone whom I can come to and honestly ask questions, and - help me explore it. And if you keep that openness with your child, certainly in faith matters, but in all matters and questions as a child grow up, you are establishing a foundation that'll be really strong. And, , you know, there'll be, particularly as they grow into adults, , a measure of respect for be- for being allowed to do this and to do this together. , And let, let's face it, , you can be 13 or you can be 33 or you can be 103, we all have questions. We all have our doubts. And, um, you mentioned the title of my book, The Trouble With Jesus. Um, that is a book that is written, uh, and I'll just briefly talk about this. This, that is a book that is written, first of all, in an edgy, skeptical, doubting voice, and that voice interrupts the narration of Jesus. So, in doing so, I hope it is written for that person who is the doubter or the skeptic. But as we look at the story of Jesus, if Jesus came to start a movement and to save the world, why did he do it like he did? One of the first chapters, uh, the trouble with Jesus was he chose losers. If you want to, you know, promote your message and get people on your side, we all know in this day and age you n- you need, to surround yourself with a group who has influence, and they had none. And, and those ki- You know, I go much deeper than that, but- Yeah ... those kinds of things, we do look at Jesus' story, and we do question, why did he do this? Why does he say this? Where is he going with this? And It's, it's a, a journey that is one of, , like I said, questioning, of doubting, of a wandering, if you will, but it's done with courage. It's done in such a way that, , we walk into this tension, and yet we're very much aware that this is a place where we belong and where God will ?lead us. It sounds like there's tension between possibly faith and fear. So , how does that faith and fear show up in moms and kids? , Children ?it may show up in a family situation. , You know, there could be a death. , There could be, problems in the marriage. Uh, there could be things that are happening to friends that they know about, and children can come to that and, and question what is going on there and where God is. , I'll give you an example. When my s- husband was 12 years old, his father, who was a Methodist pastor, , was stricken with, , Parkinson's disease, and, , he had to retire from ministry. The family moved to a small little cottage in a town where, they, at the time, they didn't even have a sewer system, and they had dirt roads. And he went to his father and he said, you know, w- why, why, why, God, let this happen? You know, here you were serving, serving God. You were a minister, and why, why did this have to happen to our family? And I feel that his father gave him probably the best answer of his life. He said, "If we understood everything there is about God, we would have no need of God." , You know, that's a very brave statement to give to, , someone, and yet it's, it's the honest ?statement. Absolutely. . There's a story in the Bible that speaks similar to that. The man came to Jesus and asked him to heal his son, and, and- Jesus said, "If you believe," and the man said, "I believe, but help my unbelief." So why is that prayer so important for families today, help my unbelief? Because ?we all live there, . We all are in that. , We look around the world, and we say, "God, why is all of this happening?" , Certainly, in our culture, we have a measure of security, but can you imagine what it's like for Christians in the Mid East right now, the war and things like that going on? And, , we pray, "Thy kingdom come," but we also have to pray, "Thy will be done," and thy will be done is probably the hardest prayer to honestly pray and accept what , God is doing. So this kind of thing is certainly natural. And as for that prayer, "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief," I myself pray it. Yeah. Probably about twice a day. But , it is this kind of- place in which we live, and it is indeed, if we accept it, that faith doesn't have to be so confirmed that there's no questions, that we will be probably even more secure in our belief and allow God to do what ?God does. , That is so good. I was just thinking about even Jesus in Gethsemane with-. when he was saying, "Not my will, but thine be done," he wasn't saying, "Help my unbelief," but he was just saying, "Let's do what you're thinking, not what I'm thinking." Precisely, yeah. So still the same road of principle there. You mention,, in your book, " to know love, one must know its lover." So with moms today, how can moms help their kids actually experience Jesus and not just learn about Jesus? I've come ?to find that, , when people wanna say, "Is this true?" That, , there are certain standards that people look to, and they say, "Well, this proves it." , Certainly, Strobel's The Case for Christ, that's like the gold standard of, you know, proving that Jesus lived, His miracles, His death, His resurrection. But what I found is that people who accept that are already people who are in belief anyway. Okay? It just kind of confirms what they do believe. But if you're talking to a non-believer, especially in this culture, we question so much. , With AI and things like that, we don't believe what we see. It's very hard to get to that point. However, what does speak to people is, when they've seen others in their experience and in others in their story, that they begin to take that on. So to teach your children that as you look into scripture, find your story. Where have you been in a place where you, too, have, , struggled and God entered into? , As we - been speaking here, we talk about the man whose son, , was demon-possessed, who goes to Jesus and says, "I know you can do this, just help me believe it." In the same way, don't we pray for our children like that? I very much see myself in that story. And when people come to that, where , they need healing, they need comfort, they need to be resolved in grief in some way, when you can find your place in that story is when the Holy Spirit is able to move into one's heart and begin to, work and plant those seeds of faith. Now, to be fair, and I, I just read this this morning in, in a devotional, actually, that, uh, the journey of faith can sometimes where we walk in darkness. There's an obscurity to it. We don't see what's next. Right. And everybody's been there. Yeah. Okay? Uh, we can't predict what is going to happen. But again, as that faith is being strengthened and stretched, even though we don't see it, we know, as Hebrews says, the assurance of things not seen, that it is in there, that we have our faith. We come to belief. We can therefore trust what God ?will do. So the mom has the faith to believe what is not seen. How can a mom help a child move from just having the mom's faith and going on that, and having their own faith and believing the things that they can't see, but they believe it for themselves, not just because their mom believes it? Well, it's pretty obvious. You've got to ?be, stay on your knees on that one. I mean, every one of us wants to have the confidence that our child is, in our Lord, who is, , willing to, walk with Him and know Him. We all want that, and that takes a tremendous amount of prayer. My husband and I,, we have two children. Our son, he and his wife, , are, very devout believers. They are active in their church. , They talk freely about their devotions and what they've learned and, it's just a wonderful thing to see and be able to, , experience with them. However, , we have another daughter, , my stepdaughter, and, she's just shut all doors to that, and she has erected a lot of obstacles. And, it's hard to watch, but again, you stay in that place of prayer. Beyond that, of course, there are, \ usual things about being involved in a church. But you might need to also take a look at your church. Is your church one that is, helping your child? Is your church one where there is a youth group, a Sunday school, mission trips, that truly are able to disciple your children? Because, yes we can pour ourselves into that, but they also need to see that others are on that journey, and , that's very important, for them, to have godly persons in their lives, and also other children who are taking that ?same walk with them. I agree. . And in that same vein, what would you say to a mom who, who may feel like she's missed it or hasn't been praying as faithfully as she should or maybe has been praying but just feels like she's not doing enough spiritually? What would you say to that mom? There comes ?a time where we all have to give our children over to God. Do all that you can in your own way. Be faithful in your prayer life, in your scripture reading, , in your participation in worship. Make that example. But at the same time, like Hannah, Hannah prayed dearly to have a child, and when her son, Samuel, was two to three years old, she took him to Eli the priest, and she kept her promise, and she gave him back to God. Abraham, we will never be able to fully explain the story, but when he took Isaac up that mountain and, , put him on the altar and raised his knife. Lord have mercy. To sacrifice your own child? What was God asking there? Or even Mary when she had the angel come to her. She had no idea exactly what this was, except for what was revealed to her. When she saw her son on that cross, what could possibly be, happening in her soul at that point? But we are all called at some point to give our children to God and let God take them where they are. In our own family, our son went into the Navy, and I'll never forget that night when, , we loaded up his van and had a little trailer behind it with some furniture and drove off down the interstate by himself, , and he was going to war. Yeah. Praise God, , he came home safely and all was well. But it, that's where we are. That's where we sit, and that's the call of parents, to release our children to God and know that there is no better place than we ?can do. Yes, that's so true. Amen. What gives you hope for the next generation when it comes to faith in Jesus? If we ?looked at our world today and said, "It's all over," , a thousand years ago, people could have done the same thing. But here's the hope. The Bible and the story of Jesus Christ and the participation of believers all around the world always continues, that faith never dies out, and that is what gives me hope until Christ returns. Yeah. This will never go away. So as we release our children to God, we also know that God , is willing to meet them where they are and to bring them to a place where they are confirmed in their faith. They have that salvation. They are living a life of transformation, sanctification we sometimes call it. And are willing to, again, proclaim that faith to someone else. And, this- In children and t- tweens , these kind of disturbances or restlessness that we can see very well could be God planting the seeds that will grow into faith, because they'll be able to say, you know, "At one point, I was here, and God met me and helped me grow through this," and God will do that ?again and again. Yes. Yes, he will. Ms. Constance, it's been so good to have you on the Faith Mom Mentor. Where can moms connect with you and find your book? And what do you hope that moms and people who read your book will take away from it? Best way ?to connect with me is at my website, constancehastings.com. When you go on there, it's actually a blog that is a companion to the book, and I'll show you a copy if it comes up here. I don't know if it will. These m- my cameras or whatever sometimes... There we go. There's part of it, and there it is. Good, okay. You can connect there, and the blog, as I said, is a companion to the book. That edgy voice that I described is also in the blog, but the blog deals with a more narrow passage than, you know, the scope of, the scope of the book. It comes out weekly. It's free, and, you can sign up to become a subscriber. If you do that, you'll also receive a link and a promo code where you can buy the book for 20% off. . , But as far as my hope and prayer is for the book, that when you meet someone, and all of us have this person in our lives that is that doubter, is that skeptic who has questions, again, after much prayer, prayer must be the foundation of all that we do, that you are led by the Holy Spirit when the time is right to say, "You know what? , If you'll read this book, could we have a conversation and let the Holy Spirit do what the Holy Spirit does?" Following each chapter in the book are a series of questions that you can use in your own reading and journaling, or in discussion with another person, or even in a small group. And, you can enter into, this wrestling match with God with all confidence that God will meet ?you there. Thank you for providing this book for us as moms, of Christian moms , and faith moms, providing us this resource that we can really take hold of what- Jesus has to offer us, and to not be troubled by our unbelief, but to look into it with, um, hope and assurance that our answers will be found in the word of God. So thank you. And Faith Mom, ?your child's questions don't mean their faith is falling apart. You're right. , You don't have to carry the, the weight , of having every answer. Just keep pointing them to the one, who is the truth. Yes. And so the questions may mean it's just beginning to take root. And as a mom, you don't have to carry the weight of every answer. You just need to keep pointing your child to the one who is the way, the truth, and the life. . The answer. And so Ms. Hastings, thank you so much for being with us today. It's been a joy to have you on the Faith Mom Mentor. And I've been blessed as well. Thank you.
