?Have you ever circled the parking lot praying for a front spot and felt silly asking God for something so small? What if that simple prayer actually reveals something bigger in how we live, lead, and mother? Yeah. Today, we're talking about the front parking spot mindset and how Christian moms can lean into Ephesians 3:20 to build homes that thrive with purpose. To help us today, we have Jennifer Bosma, who is enthusiastic about life, embraces the joy in each day. She has been married for 36 years and has three grown daughters and granddaughters. She loves sharing Jesus with women and children across the world through Her three children's books and her Front Parking Spot podcast, which is ranked top 100 of Christian podcasts for moms and families. Welcome, Jennifer. We are looking forward to hearing from you today and can you start us out by explaining your life motto of the Front Parking Spot? Sure thing, Anne. Thank you so much for having me today. It's so much fun. We could have chatted forever in the beginning. I love this., Yes, I wanna share the front parking spot mentality with all your mamas listening and anyone listening. You know, the long, very short story, but it was kind of long when my kids were little, three little girls, we had that Ford Windstar. I think they were six, four, and two. I was taking them for a little event before we went to, before they had their naps. We were gonna go to a little like amusement park. So we were going, and there's a big long line. Everyone knows about lines in the parking lots. Everyone was going to the left, and there was a little sign that said, "Front parking spots this way." Nobody was, like, guiding traffic, so I didn't break any rules, but I quickly decided my only risk is to get out of line and check the front spots. And, you know, having three little girls and a lot of stuff to carry in, you know, I'm like, "You know, I'm gonna take that risk." So I jumped out, and I jumped out, and I went to the front of the parking lot right by the gate. There was not only one spot but two. So I remember unpacking all my girls, like, "Wow, there's a front parking spot," and I didn't have the aha moment until I had them all packed up, and I had them all in there in their little, in the double stroller, and I looked out, and I saw the cars, and I said- This is a moment. This is a front parking spot. And so they're always... It's there, but so many people don't go for it. And then it went into the spiritual realm of Ephesians 3:20, that God wants to do exceedingly abundantly more than we can desire or imagine, but we need to take that risk and go for the things that He gives us. So it's kinda twofold. You know, I got the front parking spot, and to this day, I- I, eight times out of 10, we go in the front and we find it. Because that's, like, just the little things that God shows His favor and His grace for. If we go for it, He reminds us that He's there for it. And anyway, so that is where it started from, and I remember looking out in the distance thinking, "This is a life moment." And it's okay to have those life moments. Sometimes it is, when you get all your kids out of a stroller and you're standing there, God speaks to you, and He speaks to you at really unique times. And throughout the years, I mean, when we look at it a little deeper, how many times do we wanna try something new but then we get scared? God wants us to go for that front parking spot mentality that He's given us. Like, He wants to do more than we can desi- more we, that we can even imagine. And I remember as years went on when my kids were trying to get a job and the job seemed really great, and am I qualified enough? And I remember s- telling them, "Go for the front parking spot in life," meaning go for that job. Because God will decide if that's the job He has for you, but you have to be obedient to His faithfulness when He gives you that idea or that blessing. So it's twofold. It's actually a literal front parking spot, and it... But more than that, to ma- how it's become a life motto in everything we do, that we have to go for it. Sometimes those things work out, sometimes we find a spot, and sometimes we don't. And sometimes the idea He gives us to go after works out, and sometimes they don't, and that's okay because He is sovereign and He has the right plans for us. So there it is. Yes. Yes. I love that because it sounded like what you were doing was you were just responding to what was already there. Mm-hmm. And that's what faith is because faith, 'cause God speaks, and we just respond to what- Mm-hmm ... He has spoken. And so that life motto of the front parking spot is- Yeah ... just a response to what God has already put in place. I love that. Thank you for sharing. Mm-hmm. Now, you have also written some books. Mm-hmm. Can you tell us about the books and how they came to be, and what spiritual aspects they have? Oh, yes, I would love to. And along with the front parking spot goes a growth mindset. You know, we have to-- we cannot be fixed. We cannot have the fixed mindset, 'cause Jesus is ever-changing, and He leads us in the way He has us go. He's not a stagnant God, so we need to go with it. Um, I have three children's books, and the first one is The Baby Garden, and I wrote that in 1994. And I sent it snail mail, to the mamas who remember snail mail, to over seventy-five publishers, and that was explaining... I was pregnant for my first daughter. I mean, I was pregnant for my second daughter, and I was trying to explain where babies come from to my first daughter. She was two. Mailed it off to seventy-five publishers, got nice thank you, "no thank you" notes. But then that tabled. I tabled that book because I got busy. I was a busy mama, and I wasn't teaching then, but I always loved to write. So, um, twenty-six years later, about that growth mindset, the idea never left me for writing children's books. It was always something I wanted to do. I was an educator for twenty-three years, would love going to the Scholastic book fairs. You know, you go into the school library, get all the books. I loved it. Always wanted to write a book. But in twenty eighteen, I, I just-- My mom, my mom like kept saying, "Are you gonna try to publish that book again?" And that time I did. I brought it back out. I let my children read it, all adults now. And that book, um, it got picked up in one week from a publisher. And it was just like, I just remember crying and just being so thankful. But it turned out to be-- and this wasn't the original idea, um, it's based on Jeremiah one five, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." And my neighbor at the time worked in a pregnancy center, and she said, "This would be great in the pregnancy centers to let mamas know that even though if they don't have a plan for their baby, God does." So that is in over three hundred pregnancy centers across the country, and that was my, kind of like my ministry to ask if they would like it. And I sent it to them, and it's in waiting rooms across the country, a children's book. But then the second one is I Know the Plans, and that's all the scriptures I prayed over my daughters when they were little. So when my granddaughter was born, I'm like, "We need a book with all the scriptures." And that's in rhyme with beautiful animal illustrations, and it's all in rhyme. Quick cadence for kids to catch on and repeat and, like, ch-chime into the rhyme and all my go-to scriptures like, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you, not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future," and all my other go-tos. And that is book two. And book three, God is Three in One, is when that oldest granddaughter who I wrote the second book for asked me who the Holy Spirit was, and that story is a, a great little story. On how I wrote God Is Three In One, and that's also on rhyme with the same illustrator, Beth Suter. So that's a little bit of... But I have a passion sharing scripture with moms and families and children, and just breathing Jesus in and out every day, and having the joy of the Lord come from me wherever I go. Yeah. That sounds fantastic. What were some of the things that you did when your kids were in middle school as a mom of middle schoolers? Mm-hmm. What were some of the things that you did or incorporated? How did you incorporate the word of God into your- Mm-hmm ... everyday life? Because it sounds like you were spiritually minded when the kids were two, four, and six at that parking spot, and it occurred to you- Right ... how that worked out. Um, so what were some of the things that you would do or that you did, rather? You... Right. A- and being a middle school mama, it's, it is a challenging time, because being an educator, I, I taught, um, pretty much third, fourth, and fifth grade. So I would talk to these mamas and they became my friends when they would go into middle school. And I like to say that middle school, wherever you go, it doesn't matter if it's private, home school, Christian, wherever, it is a rite of passage because children are trying to figure out who they are. They're trying to get their own identity in Christ. They're learning to ask questions. And, and they're just really trying to figure out, like, their friend situation, teachers, parents, all that. So they wanna be cool, so it is a different... It is a very challenging... And I think if we all look back to our own times being a middle schooler, we remember those. It's a very fresh memory of the things we went through personally. So I like to encourage your audience, if you have middle schoolers, be involved. That is not the time to pull out. That is not the time to pull away. And if your kids want to go to a, a get together, then you go and you introduce yourself to the mom or know the mom beforehand, and you, you're, you're very involved, you don't pull away. And you have all the tough conversations. You have the conversations when the kids bring it up. You have, for sure you have the conversations- About, you know, growing up and about, you know, the, the reasons to wait for, you know, until marriage to have sex, and all the big conversations. And I remember one thing we did, we definitely had a great, strong Christian small group. My kids were all in small groups. So not only were we teaching these truths to them, but they were also hearing it from other adult, like, leaders, small group leaders. So it was great because sometimes p- they hear things... children hear things differently from another mentor than your parent, and they, they hear it. You, you could say it till... 10 times, but they hear it better from them. So we would do that. Another thing my husband did that was really cool, since we have all daughters, one thing is really cool that he did, in the Jewish faith when they're 13, they have a, a bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah, and it's a time of, um, you know, just kind of setting yourself up what you want to do when you're an adult, coming of age, per se. Well, in the Christian faith, we learned this, um, from one of our pastors. He took... We have three daughters, and, and when they were 13, he took them, he invited them to pick any place in the country that they would like to go on a trip, and it was a father-daughter trip. Um, and they all, all three of them, picked New York City. And he would give them a purity ring, and he would talk about the importance of being pure. And he would take them to a nice dinner, and he would, you know, open the door and show our daughters, like, how, how they should be treated. They had a lot of great conversations of people going in, women going into clubs. You know, we all know why they were going into clubs. Like, why do you think they're going there? Where did they make decisions along the way that could have got them to this decision-making? They went into, um, Ellis Island. They talked about, you know, becoming, you know, the things that God has for them and freedom and that what we offer here in America. And it was just a really cool time, and he took them to a play, and they went to a, um, a play, a Broadway play. But they had that one-on-one time, and my husband invested in them as daughters of what to expect in a husband and how to be treated. And of course, my husband treated me that way, too. So they saw it all the time at home. But it was a very special time. So when I say moms and dads, do not pull away. If their kids ever say, "Well, don't go meet the parents." "No, you go meet the parents." "No." You say, "No, I'm meeting the parents." And the other advice I strongly give, in middle school, and I heard this a couple times, really, there's no reason to do sleepovers. When things go south, it's usually at a sleepover. And unless you really know... I mean, of course, if it's a small group sleepover or a church king-up or something that you really know all the people involved, pick them up at eleven o'clock. Pick... or, you know, pick them up at whatever time it is, ten thirty, whatever time you decide. And for sure, if you do allow a sleepover, never let the plans change. "Hey, Mom, we've decided we're not gonna sleep over at so-and-so's house anymore. We're gonna go to so-and-so's house because..." Whatever the reasons. Never... Once the plans start changing, that means there's conversations going on, and it's not, it... Once plans change, mm-mm, that's not... There's something going on that you don't know of. So be involved, be intentional, go to church with them, have a small group, pray constantly. Let them hear your prayers. I like to say my best way, because kids all have a cellphone, right? Let me tap the time. The time right now is 2:24 as we're filming this, okay? February 24th. Wh- if that would be someone's birthday. So whenever the time, the digital time comes up, and we see a person's birthday, like if your child's birthday is two- February 24th, and you see 2:24, you just immediately start a prayer, and you pray for that person for however long that phone's on that time. It's praying consistently throughout the day, modeling good behaviors, sharing scripture. And, and this just doesn't just start in middle school. It has to be developed along the way. That was a lot to your question. I love it. I love it. It's so good. It sound like you have a consistent faith yourself. Mm-hmm. And it's your consistent faith that enabled you to make those decisions, to set those intentions, to set those priorities, to help your spouse, and you come together that they would have... that you would have an agreement to take each daughter individually and set these expectations, have them set the expectation for their life partner. Yeah. So that all sounds great. So how did you grow in your own faith? How... Faith is not something that we... We're given faith, but we cultivate it as well. Mm. So how did you cultivate those kinds of faith principles that you were just talking about? Oh, I remember... I mean, Beth Moore was huge, and she still is. But I w- I have done every Beth Moore Bible study. So my kids would see me seeking. They would see me seeking the Lord. They would see me having a quiet time, and we would always pray at night. We'd always pray when they would go to sleep. We were... You have to be... You just can't flip a switch when they're at middle school and all of a sudden become devout. I mean, you have to kinda... I wouldn't... And if you're new, and your kids are in middle school, and you're finding that you need to have more Jesus in your life, you can start small. You can tell them, "Hey, you know what? I just really, I want to get a closer relationship with the Lord, and I'm gonna be walking through that, and would you..." You know, you have to kinda... And you can't really change anybody until you intrinsically change. 'Cause if you're forcing a- belief in Jesus to your kids, but you don't have it, it's not authentic then. Um, so I would, I would do... I did a lot of Bible studies. We also hosted things at our house. We had something called DNow. Since we had all girls, we would have all the guys come. We'd have Discipleship Now, and we'd be a host family. They would go to other people's house, and that would be a sleepover because it's a church event. But, um, we were authentic. Like, we had, um, l- um, what's the... Campus Crusades for Christ, we would have them come to our house. We would have... We would host a lot of things. So we were, we were always very active in church activities, getting kids in our house. We had, we had an open door policy. Kids would come over. We had a pool. They'd go swimming. Um, so really be involved, be intentional, for sure. How did you navigate all that hosting, and working, and being all the, being all the things? How did you... What were some systems that you had in place? What were some mindsets that you had? How did you handle all that? Well, we... I would always, we could do pizzas, and we lived real close to the high school, too. I would make something called red beans and rice. Kids love... The kids would love that, and I would have big pots. You could have spaghetti. Sometimes it's just getting some ground beef going, and some onion, and dumping in some Prego, um, and having a salad. You... And you don't... You c- you have to let go of your house getting dirty. You have to let, let kids come in. If they got clay on their shoes, whatever, it's fine. You want to cultivate a home where people want to come in, when they don't feel judged, you're just, like, welcoming, like Jesus would do. Welcome, welcome you all. Um, oh, don't get my clo- you know, my, my cl- my floor is dirty. You don't wanna worry about that. Let the dirt come in. Because when you're an empty nester like me, you got a perfectly clean house, unless you're doing a renovation. Um, but just I would do things like that, get systems in place, and invite them to have a Bible study with their girlfriends. "Hey, would you like to do a Bible study? Would you want me to host it?" And they're like, "Sure," and then the kids come in. Um, just really, you gotta go knee to knee with them. You can't... You, you have to be conversational. When someone's talking to you about a big topic, you know, um, a big one is, you know, talking about what happens if, if your friend becomes pregnant, you know, what are you gonna tell her, you know? And having those big conversations, like, you speak life, you know? Um, you wanna have the conversations before it's an issue. Mm-hmm. And, and sometimes it's just little topics now and then. Um, and especially, you know, teaching them Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed by this world," you know, "But by the renewing of your mind." And, and kinda hit the things before... 'Cause it... If you... I don't... So many moms wanna hide things from them. It's better to address it, because then when they see it, they can re- they can react better. Because they're like, "Oh, my mom told me about this. My mom told me about this boy in my class that dresses like a girl." You know, i- it's just better to head those things off and be very intentional with your, especially middle school kids. And be open ahead of time before it becomes... Before they're like, "Oh, this is weird. I've never heard of this before," and then not knowing whether to bring it to you. So, you're kinda like, let's open the conversation, um, so yeah. And you- I love that ... and your face, your body language. Mm-hmm. Like, if you go, "Wait, what did you say?" Or, "Who said what?" You have to kinda really let them say stuff and not react right away. And you, "What do you mean they said that?" No, you have to say, "Well, what do you think they meant by that?" Yeah. It's all about how you respond. Mm-hmm. 'Cause they're g- looking at you and how you're gonna respond. So, you have to take that deep breath and pray that God gives you that non-surprised look on your face, right? Yeah. So you don't, like, have them feel like they, that you've, they've walked into a wall. You don't wanna be the wall. Yeah. I've heard a lot of what you're saying, underneath of what you're saying, is a why, is a purpose. Mm-hmm. You have a purpose for everything you do. You had a purpose for inviting the friends over. You had a purpose for the discipleship. Mm-hmm. You had a purpose for your Bible s- your personal Bible study. Mm-hmm. You had a purpose for prayer. It's all the why. Mm-hmm. Why you do, and I think what I'm hearing that you said- Yeah was that before it became an issue, you told them the why it is an issue. 100%. And so, I think that is, that is fantastic. I'm so glad you shared all that. Thank you. And another thing too- What, yes, go ahead ... is what they watch on TV. You know, what they're watching on TV. If they're watching something and you know that this is not okay, like, don't, you don't wanna yell, "What are you watching that for?" You just simply come, grab the remote, and pause, and just say, "Hey, let's talk about this." And they're like, "Mom." Like, "No, if you wanna... If we're watching this, I, I wanna know what you're thinking on this." It's okay. You can take the remote, you know. And, and the whole phone thing is a different thing, too. Those phones need to be put up at whatever time of night you have. They don't have their phones at dinner. You're conversing, you know, all that. Oh, another thing. This is great for moms of middle schoolers, because so many times they don't wanna talk at dinner. We would do something called highs, lows, and what you learned at dinner. What was your high today? What was your low today? And what did you learn? And we, my husband and I would do it, too, and y- you would be amazed at the conversation starters that come with that. And they can't say, "Oh, no, nothing." No, just say, "Think of something. Think of something that made you feel sad or a low" And then it's like a little tip of the iceberg, and then it just, like, comes out. Yeah. It's a great little trick. And doing that in middle school, when they're at that age, it doesn't, it doesn't cause them to have their emotions unvalidated. Them sharing validates their emotion, and then that allows it to talk about it and to get it out in the open. Mm-hmm. Which is what God said to do, is just bring- Right bring it all out in the open so it can made, be made sense of. Oh, yeah. So that was great. So what are you reading now? I know you mentioned the Beth Moore Bible studies years ago. Mm-hmm. What are you reading now, and what would you recommend for moms of middle schoolers to read or to have on their library shelf and in their phone Kindle app and all that? You know, I'm so glad you asked this, because I had this author on my podcast. Her name is Tin- the author is Tyndall Baldwin, and she wrote the book Popular: Boys, Booze and Jesus. Mm. That book was so good, especially with moms, uh, the moms that you're, you know, we're talking to right now. Um, it's a older copy. Um, I think she wrote it might, in maybe, like, 2017 or 2018. Maybe, somewhere in there. But she was best friends with my youngest daughter's small group leader. And so when she wrote that book, Popular: Boys, Booze and Jesus, um, Tyndall Baldwin, it was a game changer because Tyndall was, I think she was number three or four of two... Uh, no, she was number... She had two big brothers, and she was number three. Major Christian family, did all the things. Her brother is a famous musician still. I mean, they were buttoned up. They were just on it. And she started making different decisions. And so it was a really great book that I would read first, and even my daughter. I would always read the book first, and then I would have them read, and then we would talk about it. Um, and there's a twist in there that is like no other. Like, this twist... And the, the book is e- is just great for any parent and daughter to read. Um, and then, you know, right now I'm reading a book all the time. I like to say that people grow the most by what they're reading. Mm. I'm reading, I read Atomic Habits by James Clear. Yeah. That was, I mean, I usually only read Christian books, but I read that one and the Let Them by Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory, um, book. Those are my two non-Christian books, but usually I'm always reading, like- Um, Frank Peretti, This Present Darkness was huge with my groups that... 'Cause I used to be a, um, a small group leader for high schoolers, and I would get them all This Present Darkness. I kind of hear it's out of pub- uh, out of print, but it... That is just a really good book to teach about the devil and how he wants to prowl, and he wants to take over the minds, and he wants to indoctrinate, you know, kids into the wrong way of thinking or gaslight. But, um, I, I am trying to read books that will help me grow spiritually as a mom and, um, and just as, you know, and lead them in the way that they should lead. And it's great to read a book with them. The Popular Book is a great one to read, so definitely recommend that. You, you are a writer. Did you ever write your own studies or anything for your kids? I did not do that. I am working on my fourth book right now for four and five, so that's in process, so that's gonna be really fun, and this is gonna be more for that. Um, it's just, I... Nah, I never did do my only own Bible studies. I just did a lot of Bible studies. Um, yeah. Um, like Denise Glenn, Motherwise is a great one. I don't even know if she's still doing it. Beth Moore and, um, Priscilla Shirer, The Armor of God. Yeah. Priscilla Shirer's Bible studies are so great, and Tony Evans had some great book- I mean, the... I, I just love reading, um, the Secrets of the Secret Place. That's a really good one, too. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, but- Sounds awesome encourage people to read. Yeah. If it... Absolutely. And as we are ending here, what do you want every Christian mom of a middle schooler to know? If you needed... If you could tell them one thing, what is one thing that you would want them? And it may be a repetition of what you've said already, but- Mm-hmm ... what would you say, if you hear this, hear this Yes. Be very available. Put your phone down. Make your kids a priority because if you're always on your phone doing everything, who's... how do we tell them not to be? Communicate, be transparent. Tell them stories about when you were in middle school, and how you felt, and how you met, 'cause that makes you more approachable. That brings, makes you be mom become a middle schooler again. Um, just let them... Don't be surprised. I'm telling you so many things. But just really be present and really be involved and know that what they watch you, they're watching you. You're modeling the behaviors. And what... Another thing someone said to me, and let me see if I can get this right, "What parents do in moderation, kids will do in excess." So that being said, I would highly recommend moms and dads to watch your in- alcohol intake. If you're drinking every night- You do not have a leg to stand on when you tell them not to drink. Yes, we know you can't drink till you're 21, it's the brain, but so many kids start testing alcohol. If it is something that's not really in your house a lot, um, that's something my husband and I talk about. Like, we... In, in his industry, in his business, he packaged a lot of wines and beers, and he had a lot of customers, so we would have our wine, but that's one thing that we honestly talk about, and we hardly drink now anymore, um, just because of the health effects, and we just feel way better when we don't. But I would really watch ha- watch what your kids see you doing. Like, if you say, "Well, we've been on our second bottle of wine," that is not a good visual for your kids. You have to model 'cause they're watching. So what we do in moderation, kids will do in excess. They don't know that line. So I like to give my daughter a compliment. My oldest daughter has... is pregnant with her fourth daughter. They don't drink at all in front of their kids, ever. I mean, it... They just don't. Maybe they'll go out and have a glass of wine at their engage- I mean, their anniversary dinner, but their kids do not see them drinking. And I would, I would highly give that advice to your listeners. Yeah, absolutely. The Proverbs- Mm-hmm ... have a lot to say about drinking and about alcohol, and I think that is a wise, a wise piece of advice there for a Christian mom. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And where can Christian moms find you? Where would be the places they can get your books and find- Sure ... more about your ministry? Oh, I... Thank you for asking that sweet question, Anne. My, my website is jenniferbosma.com, B-O-S-M-A.com, jenniferbosma.com. They can also find me... It's all from, from parkingspot.com will also take them to me. Um, my podcast is Front Parking Spot. Um, I have so many great guests that we talk to mamas, and so many great guests that comes on every week, and that's everywhere you go. So Front Parking Spot Podcast, Front Parking Spot on Instagram. My books are on jenniferbosma.com, and that's where you find everything. I Know the Plans, God is Three in One, and The Baby Garden, but that's probably the best way to find me. That sounds great, and we look forward to the new books coming out that you're working on now. So we're excited to hear about those when... Definitely let us know when they're out, and we'll have you back on, and, and you can tell , our Faith Mom community, all about those. Jennifer, it has been fantastic having you on the Faith Mom mentor, and we hope that things go well with the new grand babies on the way thank you so much for having me, Anne.
