Before I introduce today's guest, I want to speak to the mom who feels like she's running on fumes. You love your family, you love God, but somewhere along the way, you started believing that caring for yourself is selfish. Today's conversation is not about spa days, it's about stewardship. It's about systems that protect your peace so you can lead your home with strength.
If you've ever felt guilty for needing margin, this episode will steady you. Welcome to the Faith Mom Mentor, the podcast for moms who want more than surface level faith for themselves and their kids. I'm Anne, and if you're a mom who feels unsure where to start, spiritually worries. You're not teaching your kids enough and wants a calmer or confident faith at home, you are in the right place.
Here we cut through the noise and get grounded in truth. Each episode helps you know God deeply, teach your tween faithfully and build a home that feels strong, steady, and Christ-centered even in the middle school years. If you are ready to stop guessing, start leading with confidence and grow a faith, your family can actually live out.
You are in the right place. Welcome to the Faith Mom. Mentor. Today, I'm so thrilled to introduce to you our guest. Chelsea Jo is a wife of mom, a CEO, and a top ranked. Podcaster and she is passionate about helping moms create consistent income without sacrificing their home or themselves in the process.
After spending 17 years in the corporate world and five years running an event-based business helped realized something important, the system she had built. To stay organized, keep up with the demands of motherhood weren't just helping her survive, they were helping her thrive, and she knew other moms needed access to those same systems.
Today, Chelsea specializes in teaching work from home moms, how to manage their homes in as little time as possible, while still creating real impact and meaningful income in the hours they set aside to work from time building time. From time blocking and meeting fundamental needs to building workflows and managing teams.
Chelsea is known for her strategic practical systems and her deep belief that these systems are the key to today's modern working mom. So Chelsea, welcome. We are so glad you're here. Yeah, thank you for having me. I'm excited to share. Before we jump in, I want to share just the heart behind my Rick.
Conversation today, or the conversation today. The moms listening today, especially moms of middle schoolers, are often exhausted, overwhelmed, and running on empty. And many of them feel a lot of guilt for wanting to take care of themselves. And I'd love for you for us to start this conversation with. Self care self and why it isn't selfish, why it's actually essential stewardship for the mom.
So from your perspective, why isn't self care selfish and why is it actually life giving for a family? Yeah. This is such a great question and something that I hope all women at some point in their life come to and think on. Um, my generation. So I'm in my forties and my mom's generation, they didn't have a word called self-care.
It wasn't even a thing that they did. Um, it, it really wasn't even part of the English language. It wasn't in the dictionary. It wasn't a term that was used. And so. As our culture has modernized and the role of a woman and a wife and a mom has really morphed and changed for better or for worse in some ways, um, this idea of taking care of ourself, I think there's been a big line drawn in the sand from a traditional woman.
Caring traditional ideas, especially those of believers where moms are practicing a sacrificial love every day and trying to be, you know, a model and a reflection of Christ's sacrificial love. We often think that caring for ourselves under the umbrella of self-care is selfish. It also is heavily associated.
With a more new age concept with women in that culture. And so I think for all women in general, regardless of faith, we are sacrifices. Uh, when we become moms, we give up so much of ourselves to take care of the kids in the house and make an income. Most women. Either want to or have to make money to help support their family.
And if they're not doing that, they're likely homeschooling in some way, shape, or form, right? And so there's just not a lot of time left. And so that's really the practical part of what this comes down to, which I'll talk about in a second. But I realized not, you know, as I was kind of starting this business that.
Moms truly do think that it's selfish to take care of themself, and so they kick the can down the road every day and every week and every month, and in their lifetime. So every day it looks like, oh, I'll read my Bible tonight, or, oh, I'll. Do my skincare later, or I'll take that walk and exercise later, or I'll make sure that I'm feeding myself nutritious food after I serve everyone their meal.
Right? So it's always later or it's like, oh yeah, I'll make sure that one day this week I get a couple hours to myself, and then it becomes, well, maybe. Maybe I'll take a Saturday, once a month, whatever. Right? And then seasons, whole seasons. Well it's just hard 'cause I have a baby right now. Or it's just hard 'cause the kids are in four different sports.
Every kid has to be taxied somewhere, right? So once the schedule calms down, then I'll get back at the gym or then I'll, whatever it is. And so. I think there's those two major things, right? Is where this big umbrella that I talked about with the woman just in general. But then whenever we look at a woman that's really, uh, very devoted in her faith and depending on where she's, where you're at on bringing that historical and cultural belief with you, um, I.
Have yet to find anywhere in the Proverbs 31 woman where it doesn't talk about how important her strengths and her giftings are. And for any woman to be a Proverbs 31 woman, she has to be able to be that person. And when it says that, you know, her arms are strong and her body is strong for her tasks, we don't get to like that by not caring for ourselves.
Right. And that is not. There's no word of God that should be overlooked. And when, when I talk about self care, the Proverbs 31 woman is the first thing that I go to because it is impossible for us to show up and do all the things that we're supposed to do if our minds are weak, first of all. And if our hearts are not fortified, if our bodies are not strong, if we have zero discipline and self-control with the food that we put in our mouth, um.
One of my, so obviously I could talk about this for a long time, but the reason why it's not selfish is because you cannot show up and be the woman that you were called to be if you are not caring for yourself first. And you know, even if it's irritability, um. One of the things that I still struggle with personally is throughout my cycle and how that is changing now that I'm in my forties and what that looks like, how I need to care for myself so I'm not biting everyone's head off looks very different than it did when I was in my twenties, right?
My sleep has to be very different. My workouts have to be very different, and so that is. That is the blessing that we will continue to pray to the Lord and be like, why Thank you for blessing me with whatever this thing is that we have to do that my husband does not have to deal with. But it is what it is and it's a journey and it's a, it's a time for refinement.
But the last thing that we wanna do is ignore. Especially I think about moms that have, have infants, right? And I ignored it the entire time. But we have to be able to say, this is what I need. Right. And so last thing I'll say on this is it really does come back to the, the, the family unit and what that looks like.
And I am such a huge advocate of the number one point of self, self-care really comes back to you being able to communicate your needs to your family. Right. And for, for probably a lot of you that are listening. When we have teenagers, there is this opportunity for us to care for ourselves by way of giving them more responsibility.
And it's a weird transition right around 13, 12, 13, where, you know, uh, I'll use the word right, if you do it right, you start this when they're. 8, 9, 10, 11 years old, and you give a long runway of a gradual release of responsibility so that by the time they're 12 and 13 years old, they can cook a full meal, they can plan a grocery list for you.
They can budget an entire trip to Disneyland. They can do a lot of things. That is pretty astonishing. That will allow you to take that. 45 minute shower with a salt scrub if that's what your self-care looks like, right? So whatever the self-care is, I said that was the last thing, sorry, this is such a long answer, but I think this is what I'm here for, is to share my thoughts on this.
The last thing I will say is that self-care, if I could give you a rule for it, it should be something that checks more than one box. And what I mean by that is. Sure. A long bath or getting your nails done. Those things are really great and they feel like self-care, but what we're really looking for are things that really support you in more than one area of your life, right?
Like we're talking about these fundamental needs that are core to who you are, and that really is my definition of self-care. So whenever I plan meals and have time and space to do that, that allows me. To feed myself the way that I want to, to feed my kids the way that I want to. So I'm proud and I don't have guilt about, you know, the things that I shoveled to them that day.
And it also helps me impact the budget in a really great way. And so I know that I'm stewarding so many different areas of my life. And the way that I, that I want to be, the way that I feel like the Lord has called me to do that. And so that's really the self-care that I want to build a foundation on top of.
Now that the kids are older, yeah, it gets to take longer baths and do some of the fun stuff too. Right. But it's built on a foundation of things that are really solid. Yeah. Systems. Systems is a part of your, um, your whole program and you talk about how systems just help things run more smoothly. And, um, you mentioned the fundamental needs.
Yeah. How you incorporated those fundamental needs into your day-to-day action. So it wasn't like this huge all the time. I'm just gonna. Fall away and never show up for my family. You are instilling these fundamental needs so that you can show up for your family. Yes. So that you can do the things that are necessary.
So when you talk about the fundamental needs system, what does that mean? Why do moms need a system rather than just good intentions or, I mean, you're not even talking. I'm going to. I mean, your, your self-care could be a afternoon at the Manny Petty office or place, but that's really not what you're talking about.
Can you explain a little bit more about why moms need a fundamental needs system, um, in order to have a true self-care and that their self-care doesn't take up their whole, their whole lives. It's not focused on their self-care, but their self-care is a part. Of their full life as a mom and a family.
Yeah. Yeah. 'cause I think first of all, uh, I'm the host of the Systemize Your Life podcast. So systems are the most important thing to me. Um, and it's not just like. This cliche thing that I decided to name my business, that literally is the way that I live my life. And the reason I didn't even know that that was, I didn't, I didn't wake up one day and be like, I'm super systematic and I need to teach these systems to the world.
I just knew that, uh. I needed something to help me when I first got married, and this is where the fundamental needs system was really born. So I had a daughter, uh, and was a single mom when I got married. And when my husband and I got married, he was a firefighter. So we would work two days and he was off four days and we would do that rotation.
So working two days and off four days is only six out of seven days of the week. So it was a floating rotation. Right. So he'd work Monday, Tuesday. And then he, the next week he'd work Sunday, Monday, and then Saturday, Sunday, and then Friday, Saturday, and then Thursday, Friday. And it just kept revolving around the week like that.
And I, we had, uh, our youngest right, as soon as we got married because, uh, we already had a, a 3-year-old and wanted to keep them as close together as possible and age and, um. I was still a sign language interpreter at that time, and I was running my event based business with my mom, and it was really hard.
I was trying to put Pinterest meals on the table, and some weeks we were really great and some weeks it was really hard. And so I started collecting data on an actual whiteboard every weekend in our, in our bedroom. And I would ask him, what went well for you this week? Why were you so supportive of me?
And why were you so happy? And then on the weeks where he was grumpy, I felt disappointed. Like I was letting him down. And Why aren't you happy? You know, and like, you know, it was, it was my desire to serve him well, but I also knew that I wasn't being served well and that has never sat well with me. Like I super big advocate for myself.
I'm not like one of these people that will die to my own exhaustion. I mean, I'll work hard at it, but at the same time, like. There's a part of me that understands that this is an ecosystem that truly desires a, a, a biblical balance in a home. Right. And God's design for that is incredible. And so we still, after 10 years of being marriage, married, are really striving to have that biblical marriage.
It is very hard and sanctifying, but I knew that there was something practical that we, something tangible that we were missing. And so out of those conversations for the first many months of our marriage was born, the fundamental needs. And so what this was, was something that we really did together. And I do suggest that this is something that you do with your spouse.
And if your spouse is reluctant, that's okay. We can kind of bamboozle them with this idea that they don't even know hit them. And some husbands really get bought into it and some of them are like whatever, and they just kind of go with the flow. But essentially. Self care in the way that the culture talks about.
It doesn't address the root of what we're actually craving and what we actually need to feel satisfied. And so we exhaust think. Think of this picture running around like a chicken with a head cut off. Exhausting ourselves and then using that as an excuse to go spend money on ourselves for this hit of, oh, I feel better about myself, but you don't actually feel better about yourself, and you probably feel worse about it now because there is a understanding of what's actually happening deep down inside of you.
Even if we ignore it, and we've probably spent a lot of money that may or may not be in the budget. Maybe it is. But what I wanted to do was address the core of what I knew that I actually needed and what my husband needed as well. And so out of that, were born these eight fundamental things that get put on the back burner, and this is where it became even more eyeopening to me.
A few examples of the great eight are meal planning. This is a fundamental need. That every family has, and it's not only planning it, but it's also shopping for it and prepping the food and getting yourself situated. There's no, there's no way around this. We think there is, right? But our health suffers and our budget suffers.
Our kids' health, their attention span. Um, so many of, I'm a very crunchy mom, which we won't get into that, but so many of the issues that we deal with behaviorally, with ourselves and with our children, relates back to what we're putting in our mouths. Um, and, you know. Input through what we surround ourselves with and what we intake as food and nutrition.
And so this is a, this is huge. So is working out right. Whether that's a walk every day or for, for so long I was, you know, it was at nap time, it was 30 minutes before the kids got up on a yoga mat in my, in my, in my bedroom, right. And my husband's out there on the couch and we made it work. And now. It looks a lot different, but it's always been the same fundamental need, right?
Mm-hmm. And another really big thing that I don't think women, look, I know when we have children, I always say this, we grow extra arms and we, we grow in an addition to our brain that it's some incredible design that you don't see men really have. After a child is born, women somehow, immediately, intuitively have the ability to multitask, right?
We can capture so much. We know what's going on with every child in every grade, in every class, in. Every department of all the things, and we know where the sheets go and and where the soap is and how much toilet paper's left. And we know so many things, right? But the one fundamental need that I always found myself fighting for was time to work.
I was trying to fit my business in when it was convenient for everyone else. And then I was angry all the time because I had this thing nagging at me in the back of my mind. And so. I'll never forget the day when I said to my husband way back then when we were, you know, imagine us in the room with my little whiteboard on my lap and I'm writing things down and I said, I need three hours a week where you take the kids so I can build this business.
I need you to do it. I can't fight for it anymore. I need you to respect my three hours, and I need you to take the kids and I need to do this. And I felt like I was asking for the most ungodly thing under the sun. I will never forget it. You know, it's just honest, I think, I think moms lose that honesty about what they really, really need.
Mm-hmm. And I think if. To grip with these fundamental needs that you're speaking of is just honest. I mean, we need to eat just like our kids need to eat. Um, so I mean, we need the same things. They need. They need space, they need time, they need, um. Individual time, we need that as well. And that's what your fundamental needs system is about.
Yeah. Um, and I don't wanna, I, I really, not to cut you off, but some, a couple of the other fundamental needs that I really do wanna talk about are date night. That's a huge fundamental need, right? Because when I'm not dating my husband, it really impacts who I am. And then another one is family fun because I, we notice that when we connect with our kids intentionally without screens once a week, this is creating a culture in our home that we always want to have when the kids move out, come home for dinner once a week and, and family fun right now is not dinner around the table once a week, but it is this, we try and do that as many nights as we can, but oddly enough we're like, okay, orchestra gymnastics.
Youth group more gymnastics. Well, we got dinner around the table three outta seven nights of the week. Right. So, you know, it is hard and not every family chooses to live that way. I think if you can find, if you can, if you can design a life where you're at the table every single night, that then you're really, really winning.
Um, and we, we do strive to get there, but you know, the, those are some of the other fundamental needs that are there, is like. It's not just for me in the way of, I need to be away from everyone to do it, but we're talking a very holistic approach to caring for ourselves in all the roles that we're called to.
Yeah. And so, um, you have worked with thousands of women, single moms, working moms, overwhelmed moms. Yeah. Why does this fundamental system, framework, why does it work for different situations? Yeah, that's a really great question I have. Whether, um, I've even had some high school students that are super overwhelmed and don't really have a maternal, uh, role model in their life that have used the system, um, all the way up to empty nesters, women that are, you know, grandparents and anywhere in between college students, single women, married, no kids.
Single moms. Um, essentially it's universal. And my husband uses the fundamental needs system too. So, uh, you just put them on your calendar and you automate them so they repeat every single week. And then it's a very, very, very simple. Uh, once a week. One of my fundamental needs, one of the other eight, is, um, sitting down and planning your week out.
And so one of the things that I do is just look and say, Hey, we've scheduled date night for every Friday. And this Friday that doesn't work. Where are we gonna move it? Right? And so it's super flexible in that way, but the point is, is that we make sure that it's always on the calendar and that we don't skip them.
And there's, you know, obviously exceptions to that. When January comes and we had cold influenza, COVID and the Norovirus rip through in four weeks. We don't do many of our fundamental needs because we're taking care of sick people, and that's okay. But you know what? I did plan my week every week, and I did meal plan my food every week.
I got to the gym a few times, right? These things are so rooted in who we are as a family right now, that even whenever it's total chaos because of, you know, rampant sickness through the house. We're still able to really live that way. And it, these things are really, you know, if you're not married, no, you're not gonna have date night, but you might have a connection.
You might replace that with some type of one-to-one connection with someone in your family. Maybe it's a mentor that you have in your life. Maybe it's connecting with your best friend that you don't get to see very often. And so even if that a specific fundamental need isn't like. Exactly what you need.
There's, it's, it's pretty much in the ballpark and you can adapt it. Right. And that's why it's super universal. Yeah, exactly. That, that's very clarifying. Um, and what you have to say there, looking back over what you've gone through and, and you as a mom and moms you've coached, where would be the first place that a person would start if they're like, yeah, Chelsea, I.
I hear you. I am kind of listening to what you're saying. I kind of, um, am interested in what you say. What would be their first step? Like in how, not just how they can start working with you. We've got some, a fundamental workbook that we are Yeah. Gonna, um, give to them. But what would be the one piece where she feels like she's running on empty?
What's the first thing that she can do that would help her? Yeah, well I definitely am gonna plug the free workbook 'cause it's literally a free download. Yeah. Um, and it's, it'll take you through the entire process of setting up your fundamental needs, which is really cool. Um, but, uh, I think whenever I talk and you talk about that Chelsea, that, that, that might be a great thing for her, that would be the first step because that would give her everything in one place.
Yeah, for sure. And that, and it is, but I think sometimes it's like, oh, I gotta put this whole system in place is one of the things that's most daunting to people. And so what I'll say to that is the fundamental needs system has a nickname called The Great Eight. My husband calls it the Great Eight. Um, in some seasons he's like, I think I'm gonna do a fine nine, and he'll add one to it and then he'll go back to the Great eight, you know?
And so it's versatile in that way, but. The number one thing is to pick one thing that you really want and need out of the grade eight to focus on right now. And if there is only one system that you ever take away from me, and we've been talking about the fundamental needs system. Every single one of those specific fundamental needs has the potential to be systemized as well.
So one of the fundamental needs is meal planning, right? And we, I've talked about that, but if you can get your meal planning under control and you can get a system for knowing the answer to the question, what's for dinner, before they ever even ask you, right? And you're not trying to figure it out. Last minute at six o'clock at night or on the drive home from soccer practice or whatever, that is going to dramatically change your life if you don't have that system in place right now.
So if there's only one system and there's only one fundamental need that you can really wrap your brain around, I would say to use a meal planning system. I have on the blog and all over the podcast, tons of support and resources for meal planning as well. So I'm not just leaving you out to dry on that system either.
But um, yeah, I think people get this grandiose idea, especially in the beginning of the year or whenever. You know, the wind blows a certain direction and they think they're gonna totally overhaul everything. And they buy the new planner and they get the new software and they download the things, and then it all goes out the window in a few weeks.
And, and that cycle is very defeating and discouraging. And so I would just encourage you to pick one specific system that you focus on, and when you get that down pat, then you can add another one. And before you know it. You'll have changed a lot of different areas and systemized a lot of different things in your life.
Just like going to the gym once or twice here or there, or heading it hard for three weeks. Might feel good in the moment. It doesn't really get you to your fitness goals. It's a long road of consistency and when we get ourselves into a place of operating from chaos and being overwhelmed, you can't just change that overnight.
Those are a lot of deeply rooted habits psychologically, that we have created in our minds that we have to, we have to nurture into a place that we really want it to be. So one system at a time. Grab the fundamental needs workbook and definitely get your meal planning automated and systemized as soon as you can.
Yes, with that, middle schoolers like to eat and so the middle school moms can get their, get their meals in order, and then the extra, once you get those systematized, you will have extra time, so then you can systemize something else, so step by step. Thank you, Chelsea. For, um, your free workbook for the fundamental needs.
Um, I think we've got a link to, to put that for everybody to get in the, in the show notes and description so they can, um, pick that up there. Um, Chelsea, what is one last piece of advice? Where can they find you and all the things. Um, we're gonna link the fundamental workbook, but where, where can women reach out to you?
Yeah, well, I'm, uh, definitely on podcast, on any podcast streaming app where you listen to podcasts and you can also find me on YouTube Systemize Your Life, and then, uh, chelsea joe.co is my website. You'll find all kinds of fun resources there. Um, but essentially I think the number one thing that I always share is no matter.
If you're a type A, type B or a Type C mom or something in between. There are so many people, especially the type B moms that are like, oh no, I'm not organized. I'm not systematic. You can't put me in a box. That's never gonna work. Every single person has systems, they have routines. They just may or may not be working for them the way that they want them to be, and so, mm-hmm.
One thing that I really challenge myself with, and you know, hopefully you can take this and challenge yourself with it as well, is knowing that the way that we operate in our home, in the mundane and in the little details, really is our mission field with our children. What we do every day is who they become as people, and so.
When we're very worried, concerned, fearful, hopeful, excited, and intentional about who our children are becoming. We actually have to turn and look to ourselves first and who we are every day as that model. And, and that is, that's a hundred percent. A hundred percent comes back down to the way that we operate and a systematic way of operating where we're not overwhelmed is.
Pretty magical and such a gift too. It's, it really is. Chelsea, thank you so much for being here. It's certainly been a gift for you to be with us today with your wisdom and your heart. And I know that, um, the conversation and the things that you shared are gonna give so much hope and clarity to moms all over, and I want.
Our moms to pick up that fundamental workbook because that will fundamental needs workbook because that will give them the start to clarity, to purpose and to meaning for their home. And we'll give them systems that will, um, revamp how they do things for, um, the long haul. So we're grateful for your work and for all that you're doing to help moms to lead their homes with peace, peace and purpose.
And I'm cheering you on as you continue to go forward and help moms all over the world with your systems. And your influence to help us be ordered and systematized. So I appreciate you being here, Chelsea. Before you go, remember this, you are doing sacred work as you nurture faith in your home and it matters more than you realize.
Thank you for choosing to spend this time growing stronger and steadier in truth. If today helped you take one more step forward. Head to life and peace ministries.com for simple faith. Field resources designed to support you as you know God deeply, and teach your tween faithfully, including faith, mom, t-shirts, and ways to connect for speaking and faith mentoring.
You can also help another mom by following the show, leaving a quick review or sharing this episode with somebody who needs encouragement right now. Until next time, keep leading with faith. Your faithfulness is shaping a legacy.
