?Your tween is a new creation in Christ. But they just rolled their eyes and slammed the door. In the next few minutes, we're going to find a grace field path to close the gap between their daily behavior and their true identity in God. Welcome to the Faith Mom Mentor, the podcast for moms who want more than surface level faith for themselves and their kids.
I'm Anne, and if you're a mom who feels unsure where to start, spiritually worries. You're not teaching your kids enough and wants a calmer, more confident faith at home. You are in the right place here. We cut through the noise and get grounded in truth. Each episode helps you know God deeply, teach your tween faithfully and build a home that feels strong.
Steady and Christ centered even in the middle school years. If you are ready to stop guessing, start leading with confidence and grow a faith, your family can actually live out. You are in the right place. Welcome to the Faith Mom Mentor. If you are a mom who loves your child, who has taught them about Jesus, but the attitude makes you wonder if any of it has made a difference.
You are not alone. One minute they're your sweet kid. The next minute they feel like a stranger driven by moods you don't understand. We're going to talk about that confusing space between the child of God, you know them to be. And the tween you see every day. And more importantly, we're going to find a practical grace field path forward for you and for them.
Let's be honest, parenting a tween can feel like a roller coaster. It is a time of huge change for them. One foot is still in childhood and the other is stepping into teen years. It's a messy. In between stage, their brains are growing, their friendships are getting more complicated, and their feelings feel huge and overwhelming.
As Christian moms, we have another layer to this. We hold on to the beautiful promise from two Corinthians five 17 that says, in Christ, our child is a new creation. We celebrated when they decided to follow Jesus. We have this amazing. Hope for them. But on a busy Tuesday afternoon when homework is a fight, that new creation can feel very far away.
That's the confusing space, isn't it? The gap between the spiritual truth we believe and the daily reality. We. See, we see a tween who seems argumentative or glued to their phone, desperate to fit in the world, shouts from every screen that their identity is something they have to earn, that their worth is based on what they do, what they own, or who likes their post.
This pressure to perform makes them feel anxious and unsure of themselves. And if we're really honest. It can make us anxious too. It can feel like we're failing. We wonder, where did I go wrong? Am I losing them? We see a bad attitude, not as a faith, but as a spiritual problem, and we start to panic. So we focus only on fixing the behavior with lectures and rules, but this often pushes them further away and the real issue, their heart.
Doesn't get addressed. We accidentally start sending the message that our love is based on their good behavior, mirroring the world's message instead of god's. The real issue isn't just their actions, it's their confusion about who they are, and you can't fix a heart problem with a behavior solution. So how do we close this gap?
We have to go back to the foundation. We need to get crystal clear on what new creation really means, both for ourselves and for our tweens. Being a new creation doesn't mean our kids become perfect overnight. It's not a magic. Switch that erases all bad attitudes. Being a new creation isn't about perfect behavior.
It's about a complete and permanent change of identity. It's a change of their spiritual DNA. Think of it like this. When a caterpillar enters a cocoon, it doesn't just put on the butterfly costume. It is completely transformed. It emerges as something entirely new. That's what happens to our kids. Christ, their very nature is made noon, one of the best places in the Bible to help our tweens grasp.
This is Ephesians chapter two. Before Christ, it says, we were dead in our sin, but God because of his great love, made us alive together with Christ. Then comes verse 10, a verse. Every tween and every mama needs to memorize. For we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God before ordained, that we should walk in them, created in Christ Jesus for good works.
This truth directly pushes back against the lie that their purpose is. To be popular or successful. Their purpose was set by God himself. He has good and meaningful work for them to do, which gives them a value that no trophy grade or social media like ever could. As you learn to see your tween as God's masterpiece, you might want more tools to help guide them.
That's why I want to invite you to visit life and peace ministries.com. It's a place for encouragement and biblical tools to help you know God deeply and teach your tween faithfully. Knowing this truth is one thing. Making it real for a 12-year-old on a hard day is another. How do we bring this truth of being a new creation?
In Christ Jesus into our homes. For our twe well, we shift our goal from just managing behavior to truly guiding their heart. Here are a few simple ways to start. First. Speak their true name. When you're frustrated, it's so easy to label your child by their behavior. You are being so difficult, you might say, but our words have power.
We need to be the voice that reminds them of who they really are. In normal everyday moments, speak truth over them. Say things like, did you know that God designed you with a special purpose, or, I love how God made you so creative. When you see them being kind, praise the character you see. Let your praise for who they are in Christ.
Be louder. Then any praise they get for what they accomplish. Second, anchor them in God's word. Don't just tell them these truths. Show them where they can find it. In the Bible, tweens are starting to think more logically, so teaching them to turn to scripture for themselves is vital. You can take a verse like two Corinthians five 17.
Have them write it down. Ask simple questions like, what does this verse say about. Who God is. What does this verse say about who you are? This teaches them to ground their shifting feelings in God's unchanging truth. Third, live out the message. This might be the hardest one. Our tweens need to see us living like we are children of God too.
They need to see us find our worth in Jesus, not in our success at work, or even as a parent. They need to see us apologize when we mess up. They need to hear us talk about our need for God's grace, especially after a long day. Our children are watching to see if we really believe this stuff for ourselves.
Our authority to lead them flows from our own walk with God. When you have this foundation. We can start to see discipline in a new way. So when the bad attitude shows up, the goal is not just to react. Instead, we can see it as a chance to connect with their heart. This might mean waiting until things are calm.
Then instead of launching into a lecture, start with the question. You could say something like. Hey, what happened earlier wasn't okay. That behavior just doesn't match the kind of person I know God made you to be. Can you tell me what was going on in your heart in that moment? This does three powerful things.
First, it separates their behavior from their identity. You are communicating your behavior was a problem, but you are not the problem. Second, it helps them learn to look inside their own heart, which is a key skill for spiritual maturity. And third, it keeps your relationship strong. You move from just being an enforcer.
Of rules to be in a guide coming alongside them to help them grow this way. You can still correct their actions and uphold God's standards, but you do it by pointing them back to the gospel. You aren't just correcting them, you are calling them up. To live out the new identity they already have in Christ.
Parenting a tween means living in the messy middle between their new identity in Christ and their day by day choices. There will be good days and there will be hard days, but you are not failing, mama. Every eye roll is not a sign you are failing, but an invitation from God to lean on his grace. Grace for your child, and grace for you.
Your primary job in this season is not to raise a perfect tween. It is to be a fateful mom who consistently points your child back to the one who made them loves them, and has given them a new name and a solid identity. Keep reminding them and yourself that their worth is not based on how they act, but is sealed by God's promise.
They. Are his masterpiece and even on the messed up days, the artist is still at work. Before you go, remember this, you are doing sacred work as you nurture faith in your home and it matters more than you realize. Thank you for choosing to spend this time growing stronger and steadier in truth. If today helped you take one more step forward.
Head to life and peace ministries.com for simple faith. Field resources designed to support you as you know God deeply, and teach your tween faithfully, including faith, mom, t-shirts, and ways to connect for speaking and faith mentoring. You can also help another mom by following the show, leaving a quick review or sharing this episode with somebody who needs encouragement right now.
Until next time, keep leading with faith. Your faithfulness is shaping a legacy.
