?Have you ever felt crushed by quiet pressure to be good enough for God, like you're on a spiritual hamster wheel and if you stop running your fall out of his faith? Welcome to the Faith Mom. Mentor the podcast for bomb. Who want more than surface level faith for themselves and their kids. I'm Anne. And if you're a mom who feels unsure where to start, spiritually worries.
You're not teaching your kids enough and wants a calmer, more confident faith at home. You are in the right place here. We cut through the noise and get grounded in truth. Each episode helps you know God deeply, teach your tween faithfully and build a home that feels strong. Steady and Christ-centered even in the middle school years.
If you are ready to stop guessing, start leading with confidence and grow a faith, your family can actually live out. You are in the right place. Welcome to the Faith Mom Mentor. Today we are digging into a single powerful truth from the book of Ephesians that can liberate you and your tween from that cycle of performance for good.
Plus, I have a simple prayer to share that can help anchor this truth in your family's heart. This pressure is an invisible weight is in it. It seldom makes a grand entrance for us moms. It might be the thought after a long day, I lost my patience again. God must be so disappointed in me. It can feel like a desperate scramble to get in that perfect quiet time.
Not from a desire to connect with God, but from a sense of obligation. Us if checking that box keeps us on his good sign. It's the wave of. Guilt that hits when you prioritize sleep over signing up for that church activity. We've somehow internalized this idea that our spiritual walk is a performance review and we're constantly coming short.
We carry this nagging spiritual insecurity, this unending need to perform just to feel like we belong. And our kids who learn far more from our lives and our lectures are masters at observation, they absorbed this performance mindset directly from us. Maybe you are starting to notice it in your tween.
You see it in their reaction to a bad grade. Not just disappointment, but a deep fear that they. Failed in some significant way. You hear it in their prayer, which sounds less like a conversation and more like a negotiation, trying to strike a deal with God for a spot on the team or to be included in a friend group.
They begin to view faith as just one more stage where they need to perform. They already have to earn good grades, make the team navigate the drama of group chats and get enough likes on their latest post. Now on top of that, they feel they have to be a quote unquote good Christian. They believe holiness is something they must achieve through sheer willpower and with every misstep they invisible.
Weight gets heavier. They're caught in a cycle of trying to. Earn God's approval and being terrified of his disapproval. A life of constant exhausting effort. And as you watch this, your heart aches because you recognize this burden. You see you're carrying it too. You feel that same pressure and don't know how to lead them into freedom.
You haven't fully grasped yourself. It makes you wonder, is this Christianity? Is this the way it's supposed to feel? A life of perpetual debt and anxious driving for a God who seems impossible to please? I vividly remember the moment this entire performance structure collapsed for me. It began with a small thing.
I was in church, the nursery feeling like a failure because my baby did not play like the other kids. At home, my marriage felt strained and hollow. We were going to counseling and keeping up appearances, but inside I was just going through the motions. Then my young son was diagnosed with autism. A dark thought came upon my mind.
The struggle was real, and I felt like I was being punished. My breakthrough came though when I finally. Threw away the spiritual checklist I gave up on the perfect Bible study routine designed to earn points with God. Instead, I simply started pursuing a genuine. Day by day relationship with him in that quiet, unassuming space, I was finally freed from a heart of doing and was welcomed into a heart of belonging.
I discovered I didn't owe God anything, the prize for my eternity. Was paid in full by Jesus on the cross. The only debt remaining was to love him in return to simply reflect the love he had already poured out onto me. My identity I came to understand is like a mirror. A mirror doesn't strain or strive to create an image.
It simply an effortlessly reflects whatever is placed before it. It owes nothing to the image. It reflects when I choose to position the truth of God's word, the reality of Christ's death, burial, or resurrection before my heart. My life begins to naturally reflect his love. It's not about striving. It's about receiving and reflecting.
The word of God accomplishes the work, and I get to be the reflection. As I began to live in that truth, I started modeling an identity of freedom. One that owes God nothing. This is the very truth that can change everything for you and your tween. Ephesians Chapter one is not just a list of commands, it's a list of declarations.
It's God's statement of who you are. Understanding. This is the key to dismantling the performance trap forever. First, your identity is built on God's choice. Ephesians one, four says that God chose us in him before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. Let that truth settle in before the universe began before you took your first breath or made your first mistake.
God chose you. His choice had nothing to do with your talents, your potential, or anything you could ever accomplish. It was based completely on his love. This means your identity is an eternal fact. It's not about you choosing God, it's about the mind bending reality that the creator of all things chose you first.
This truth demolishes the culture of comparison because your worth was never something to be earned. It was assigned by God from eternity past second. His choice led to your adoption. First five says in love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ. You see, in the ancient Roman world, adoption was an unbreakable legal act and adopted child could never be disowned and was guaranteed a full inheritance.
This is our spiritual status. You are not a spiritual intern hoping to one day get hired. You are a full fledged child of the king with all the rights and privileges that entails. Your belonging is not up for a debate. Your place in his family is secure, not because of your performance, but because of his declaration.
This brings us to the most liberating truth your. Debt is paid. A song lyric I love says it perfectly. He paid a debt he did not owe. I owed a debt I could not pay. This is the essence of redemption. It's unambiguous. Verse seven says, in him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins in accordance with the riches.
Of God's grace. Redemption is the act of buying back something. Our sin created a debt so massive, we could never repay it. But Jesus who owed nothing, paid our impossible debt on the cross. He paid it all. God then lavished his grace on you. Imagine a billionaire paid off your entire mortgage when you keep trying to send payments to the bank.
No, you wouldn't. The debt is gone to keep to, trying to pay would be an insult to that gift. If you are looking for more simple, practical tools to help you make these truths a natural part of your family's life, I want to invite you to visit our website at life and peace ministries.com. We have resources there to sign.
Do you help you and your tween grow in faith together? So why do we treat God this way? Why do we keep trying to make payments on a debt that has been eternally canceled? You owe God nothing. Your sins are forgiven. Your slate is clean, and God has replaced your record with the perfect righteousness of Christ.
In God's view, you are holy and blameless today. This isn't a future goal, it's a present day gift. So what does this look like on a frantic Tuesday morning when the kids have just missed the bus? How does the truth travel from your head to your heart? It begins by changing your internal dialogue. The voice of performance says you failed.
You weren't patient enough. You must do better tomorrow. But the voice of grace says that was hard, and you're human. Your impatient doesn't define you. You are chosen, adopted, and forgiven. Rest in that. Living from grace shifts your posture from striving to surrender. It's no longer about trying harder to be a good mom.
It's about resting in the fact that you are, as my friend Angie Bowman says. You are a beloved, cherished child of God. This transformed your spiritual practices. Reading your Bible is no longer a duty to check on, but a privilege you get to enjoy. It's not about performing for God. It's about positioning yourself to receive the love he has already offered.
Some days that may be an in-depth Bible study. Others it might be two minutes with coffee and a quick whisper. Thank you for loving me. One of the most powerful things you can do is begin your day with the declarations of Ephesians. One, before you even get outta bed, begin speaking these truths over your heart.
I am blessed. I was chosen by God before the world began. I'm adopted as his child. I'm redeemed and forgiven, my debt is paid. Speaking these truths recalibrates your heart around who you are, not what you do. It builds an identity so secure that the day's failures cannot dismantle it. It when you inevitably stumble, you don't have to descend into shame.
You can return to the unshakeable reality of who God says you are. You begin to live from a place of love, not for it. This is the posture. Of restful trust that will radically change not only you, but your parenting. As you begin to walk in this freedom, you can finally offer it to your tween. They won't learn it from a sermon.
They will absorb it from your life. When they fail, they witness your grace field response instead of condemnation, their world can begin to change. Start the conversation by simply validating their experience. You might say. I see how much pressure you feel to be perfect all the time. It feels like you always have to perform, doesn't it?
I want to share something that's changing my life. You don't owe God anything. Translate these truths from Ephesians one into their world. For the tweens who learn best by listening, this is key. You can play an audio version of Ephesians one in the car and just let the words wash over them. You can create a playlist of worship songs that focus on identity and grace, not just on what we do for God.
When discussing being chosen, you could say long before you ever worried about being picked for a team or being left outta the friend group, the God of the universe picked you. That's the most important part of who you are when explaining adoption connected to the deep need for belonging. You know the feeling of really wanting to belong.
God has made you a permanent part. Of his family. You belong to him and nothing you do or don't do can ever change that for redemption. Use an analogy they can hear and visualize. Imagine you accidentally broke something incredibly expensive and there is no way you could ever pay for it. Then someone walks in, pays the entire bill and wipes your debt clean.
It's just gone. Our mistakes create a debt with God, but Jesus paid it all. You don't have to live your life trying to pay him back. He just wants you to trust him. And what if they seem resistant or roll their eyes? Be patient. You can even record yourself speaking these truths over them. You were chosen, you are loved, you are forgiven, and let them listen to it on their own time.
Your consistent grace field life is a powerful testimony. You are planting seeds of truth that you can water with your words. Trusting the light will eventually break through. Faith mom, the pressure you and your tween are under is real. The exhaustion is valid, but the lie that you have to perform for God's approval must be rejected.
The beautiful life-changing truth of the gospel is that your. Standing is secure, the adoption is final, and the debt has been paid. You were chosen before the foundation of the world, not because you were worthy, but simply because he loved you. He has lavished you with his grace, not as a wage to be earned, but as a gift you could never deserve.
You owe God nothing. Living in this freedom won't make your life easy, but it will anchor your heart in a profound peace. As you learn to live as a beloved daughter, you will be showing your child how to live as one too. You'll be giving them the greatest gift of all freedom, from the crushing weight of performance, and true rest in the finished work of Christ.
As I promised, here's a simple prayer you can use with your family to help these truths take root. Lord, thank you that before I did anything right or wrong, you chose me, adopted me, and forgave me, help this truth sink from my head to my heart and let it flow in grace. To my child, solidify these truths in both our hearts today.
Amen. I'll also include that prayer in the show notes for you. Thank you for spending this time with us. Go in Grace and remember, your faithfulness is leaving a legacy. Before you go, remember this, you are doing sacred work as you nurture faith in your home and it matters more than you realize. Thank you for choosing to spend this time growing stronger and steadier in truth.
If today helped you take one more step forward. Head to life and peace ministries.com for simple faith. Field resources designed to support you as you know God deeply, and teach your tween faithfully, including faith, mom, t-shirts, and ways to connect for speaking and faith mentoring. You can also help another mom by following the show, leaving a quick review or sharing this episode with somebody who needs encouragement right now.
Until next time, keep leading with faith. Your faithfulness is shaping a legacy.
