Faith Mom, does your to-do list feel like it never ends? Maybe you are constantly on edge because you are afraid you will forget something important when everything feels urgent. Your stress makes sense. But what if you did not have to carry the responsibility of figuring it all out alone? Today, award-winning author and former high-tech executive Margaret Agard is here sharing how giving her daily to-do list to God helped her experience more peace, purpose, and direction while raising eight children. You can find Margaret's in his footsteps book through the links in the description. Margaret, welcome to the faith mom mentor. I thank you for inviting me to be here and I'm so excited to be speaking with a group of women who follow the same path I follow. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Well, we are glad you're here. Margaret, take us back to the season when you are a single mother of eight children, supporting your family, working as an executive, and finishing your university degree. What did your life and your neverending to do this feel like during this season? I could just cry thinking about it now. It was I I was lucky to get four hours of sleep a night. And even then, I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking, I know I'm forgetting something important. I just know it. And you know how you get that stress feeling and I always had a paper and pen so I could write it down. And I was an executive. I had a lot of training in how to set priorities, how, you know, the whole four quadrants, Steven CVY, whatever is out there today. I knew how to do that. It felt as if I had three full-time jobs. You know, being an executive is very demanding and takes a lot of time. And raising children is very demanding and takes a lot of time, especially if you have a large family, which I did. I had eight children in 11 years. Um, so I didn't have my first teenager until after I had my youngest child. So I didn't realize what was coming. And so there was a time in which we had five teenagers in the house. So that was interesting. And also I had decided to go back to school because the high-tech industry was changing and many people were going out, you know, to get their company on the stock market. And as an executive, I I had plenty of experience, but I was about two semesters short of a degree. And it would make a difference, especially when a company is saying, "Here's our top people, and here's their background." And so that's why I decided to go back to school full-time, but at night. So it was it was just hard. And this was 30 about 30 years ago, so it was before there was online school. I had quite figured out how to do it. I had to show up for class. Um, and it seemed like what happened, what what changed my life, what made me change and start doing what I still do today is that I set certain things as priority. I think, well, I have a test tomorrow and I have to show up, so I have to study. That that's like number one, right? I have to study. I have a client who wants um a proposal from our company. And so I need to put that together. And you know, my kids need ride their rides to work or picked up from sports. And so I had this list and then I would show up for class and there would be a note on the door. Well, the test is cancelled. The professor is sick. It's going to be next week. Or I would go to the client and the client would say, you know what, we've decided to do this completely differently. So let's toss that thing you just spent four hours putting together. And I would think to myself if if I had known I would have focused on something else, right? I only this is when I started thinking if I knew the future. If I just knew the future I would know what is really important to do. And then I thought well I know who does know the future. And that's when I started taking my to-do list to God as like this is what I think I have to do. Please tell me what I really have to do. Later that question changed, but that's how it started. There's my list. Yeah. Yeah. And many they're they're so busy. Many moms are so busy like you were thinking about they're going to be afraid that they're just going to miss something and and you've already said that that pressure affected your sleep and your peace and your ability to be present with your children. What would you say to the mom who feels tense because every task seems so urgent? Well, that is how it felt for me. And so, this is what I'm saying. I began to take it to God. I just, you know, I had a I had a to-do list, you know, like this, you know, you got to like that and you're going to toss cross things off and what's important. And I started going at first I did it in the morning, but it turned out to be better to do it at night. And when you think about it, when Christ went off with God, it was at night and then he came back and then in the morning they did the stuff, right? And he says in John 8:29, let me see how he says it. He said, I am never alone. Um, but the father's always with me because I do always those things that please him. And that's when I started thinking, oh well, yeah, he was out at night saying, yeah, like and then he'd come back like, oh, I guess we're going to Capernia. So, I started taking my list, just like your to-do list, right? It's all written down. And I would just pray and say, "What do I need to do?" And I could feel how you know how you feel. I would look at think, "Yeah, I don't need to do that. That can wait for some reason." And he actually took things out of my life. Like, you know how you're gonna take treats to a birthday party, but oh wait, you've got to tie it with ribbons. You're gonna have, you know, like you make it a whole lot more than it has to be. And that was gone. And what happened is I did that as he got my life down to really the most important things. I knew if he said I didn't have to like work on a proposal, I'd think, well, there must be something going to happen, right? And then when I was driving places, if I got caught in traffic, I'd think, "Oh, God knew this was going to happen. So, I guess it's all going to work out." And my after I started doing it, it didn't even take very long, just a few days. I started to be finished every night by 8:00. I never woke up in the middle of the night thinking, what am I forgetting? And it it completely changed my life. The other thing he did is he started giving me different things to do. He'd say, "I want you to call a certain person or I was in school, right?" He said, "I want you to add this class and that okay." And it was like a higher level class. I didn't have any prerequisites. The professor had to sign off on I remember taking this class and the pre the professor as he was signing off was like, "I don't even know why I'm doing this. I never agreed to do this. And I thought, I'm not going to say it, but I know what you're doing. Wow, that is amazing. How I'm interested to know how long did you spend like at night going through your list and praying and asking God to organize it for you? How how long did that usually take? 10 10 minutes. 10. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not it doesn't take a long time. You know, you've got the list, right? Yeah. And most of us have the list. We can get it down. Um, and yeah, it and I'll tell you when it changed because I felt like I was asking too much of God. I mean, seriously, like I should be able to handle this, right? Like, just get me through these few years or whatever and I'll be okay. So, I took it back and stopped doing it. And then, of course, it got worse and then I started again. But this time I started asking what do you you want me to do today God? And to me that is the Lord's prayer. Do you know in the Lord's prayer where it says thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. So let's try to imagine heaven. Do you think the angels are running around with all their projects and their to-do list and the things they want to do and then every once in a while say I'm stuck. Will you help me, God? Or do you think they're saying, "We're committed to what you're committed to. What do you want me to do today, God?" I'm pretty sure he's committed to bringing his children back home, the ones you're raising. He doesn't want you to go hungry. He doesn't forget you have laundry. Okay? A friend of mine once said, she started doing it and she said to him, um, I really want to turn my to-do list over to you today, God, but I, and she had 10 kids, I have a lot of laundry to do. And he said, Annette, do what you have to do, but whatever you do today, do it with kindness, which is nice. That's really good. That is so, so good. But in faith mom, if you're getting value from what Miss Margaret is sharing, please take a second to like and subscribe so you receive more practical conversations like this to help you guide your child to walk with God. And in the comments, share this. Share what do you worry will be missed when your to-do list becomes overwhelming. And how does that make it harder to help your child walk with God when you're concerned more about your to-do list? Miss Margaret, you begin giving your daily to-do list to God. So, what does that actually mean? You've told us a little bit about just sitting down with it. Did you check it off? Did you go through each task and say, "Lord, do you want me to do this? What do you want me to do?" And then look at your list and have him nudge you. How what was that like? It really is exactly how you described it. Um I and and then of course things come up later and you have a thought, oh I should this, right? I should this. And so I I would actually take the list written down exactly as you describe. I would just look at it and you know how you feel that sense of peace or this sense of what however you feel God speaking to your heart. That's what I would feel as I went through it. And I'd think, well, I really don't need to do this. And I is for some reason and like I said he would usually add one or two things and I learned to do his first if I could. I mean if he said call someone and it was 11 at night I'd be like okay sometime tomorrow I'll try to do first. Um, but the other thing I think was important, the question you asked, how are you sure that's what you should do? And what about other thoughts that come? And so if I was out somewhere and I thought you should stop and see this person, I would think, oh, is that God or my ADHD speaking? You know, like what is it? And I had just learned to ask like, are you telling me to go see this person? And sometimes I just thought, well, if it's a good thing, then do it. But I do remember one time looking I was at a stop sign. I'm looking and I had a friend who ran a little motel. It was in a small town and I didn't know her that well and I felt like I was like you need to go see her. I thought okay. He said no like now. I thought oh well I don't know her that well you know I'm just not the kind of person I'm not real outgoing. So to knock on a door of someone I don't know very well at her business just felt but okay. Um, she opened the door, she just stared at me for a minute. And I stared at her thinking, "Okay." Um, are you gonna invite me in? And then when I came in, she was and later she said, "Margaret, every time I'm in trouble, you show up." And I thought, "It's not me, it's God." Her son was on drugs. He was out of town. He had been in jail. They had let they didn't know where he was. They just let him out in the inner city like they do. And she said, "I I can't even tell people about it." She said, "If he had leukemia, people would be over at my house with casserles and sending me cards, but what he's dealing with is drugs, and no one wants to talk about it." And so, I felt like I was there because Yes. So, sometimes it's not on the list, but it gets added to the list kind of in the middle. Yeah, that is so good. And and you're so right. Um, do you use scripture? How how can a mom like use scripture while trusting God to guide this practical details of her day? Is scripture come into play in any way? Well, I I do try to make him the priority. I mean, there was a time when I had to be at work at 4:30 in the morning. I'd get up at 3 so I could have a half hour of scripture with him before I went to work. So I do set the day with scripture and I had been doing that for years that that was already a habit. So um the the new thing was saying here's my you know when you think about it your your daily to-do list is your life and you're like I want to turn my life over to God. Well here's how I did it. I gave him my daily to-do list because my daily to-do list is my life. And when I that's when things really changed. I learned a lot from reading the scriptures, from spending time in prayer with him. And you're talking to moms. So, I want to share an experience. Um, especially with my kids at middle school and older, they start pulling away. You know how that is. They start pulling away. And it used to be you just drove them places and you could listen to them and their friends in the back. Now they don't talk. They're text. They're next to each other texting. What is that about? Um, so I had a son who is just the most obnoxious 15-year-old. Like seriously. And I thought finally I went to God one day and said, you know, I love him because he's my son, but I have to tell you I don't like him much. And God said to me, Margaret, I want you to pray to see him like I see him and to love him like now this this I use this prayer all the time. Use it with your boss. Use it with your nasty neighbor. Use it with the co-orker you don't like. Just use use it with your husband, your spouse. Like, help me to see this person like you do, to love them like you do. And so, I prayed that prayer and this again is like 30ome years ago. There wasn't the internet. My I So, I'm over at my mom's house, there's a magazine. Oh, I hope I have time for this story. I'm making it kind of long. Um, she she had a magazine rack and I pull it up like it's some Good Housekeeping or something. flipping through, I see this article about a school where some boy had accused one of the favorite like PE teachers of of sexual abuse and the kids loved that teacher and they didn't like this kid and he was basically pillaried and I was thinking, oh, you know, we had something like that happen in our town a while ago and then I realized, oh, it was about our town. And then um as I read the article, it said the only thing he had that kept his like depressed and suicidal was on his desk. His parents had framed a small petition only had a few names on it that said, "We're here for you and we support you." And as soon as I read that, I knew whose name was at the top of the list because I remembered the day I was driving my son. Now, my son from the age of 12 to 13, he grew to be 6'4. He's exceptionally good-looking. He later, not in middle school when this happened, lettered in three sports. So, you know, he had some clout just from being who he was. and he he said to me, "I'm going in and I'm going to pass this petition around, get some kids to sign it because I don't like what's happening to this this boy." I said, "Okay." I had to pick him up that afternoon. I said, "How'd the petition go?" And he was mad. He said, "They said we can't talk about it anymore at school. They wouldn't let me pass the petition around." So, I signed it and I had a few of my friends sign it and we gave it to the boy. And that's who God saw. I saw this obnoxious 15-year-old and God saw this boy who, you know, would other people. Yeah. A bold, compassionate young man. Faith Margaret shows more of a journey like this in her book, Inis Footsteps. It's a memoir. The link is in the for the print, the ebook, audiobook editions is waiting for you in the description. So, be sure to check that out. And Margaret, what began to change when you stopped carrying the entire day? You've given us a glimpse of that, but would you would you just tell us a little bit more about what it was like to start trusting God to guide your priorities? I, you know, that anxious feeling that I I didn't even know I was anxious until I didn't have that anymore. That went away. I'm able to sleep. I like I said, I'm able to sleep at night. I don't wake up thinking, well, I just get a good night's sleep. And I feel so many things have happened as I've been doing this. I've been doing this for like 30 years that I have just really learned to trust that when I say, "What do you want me to do?" And and I do that first. I make sure his his to-do has priority, then everything else works out. And I just feel calm. Yeah. Did your children notice? I think they do. Yes. I think they they because then I had more time for them. I started doing things like that one son Dan and Emma. They were my two youngest and I um I figured out how to get off every Thursday afternoon and we would go play hotel miniature golf at a at a at a county park. Like it cost 50 cents or something. It was I wasn't spending a lot of money. It was just we did it damn one every time. I don't know. We kept trying. Um and they still talk about that. We remember that you made time for us and you made that important and you let us know. What I hear you saying is that because you prioritized and put your to-do list in God's hands and you waited and you listened for God to prioritize your day, it gave you margin in your day or God allowed you to see the priority of spending time with your kids. And so if a mom doesn't take her to-do list to God, she may miss spending quality time with her children because she's so busy and the urgent necessary things that she has on her to-do list rather than giving it to God and asking God as you said, Lord, what would you have me to do today? Margaret, we are um coming to the end of our time here, but I want you to just encourage. You have said so many encouraging things. I think my own stress level is a little bit less just hearing you talk and just having these practical examples. What final encouragement would you give to the mom who wants to begin even this evening by placing her to-do list in God's hands? That's why I would say do it because he will give you a life that you love and you may not even know what you really will love because he will just li lead you in that direction. That's what I know. You start doing that, you will become the person you're supposed to be. That's right. I like that. Just do it. We're going to be like the Nike commercial. Just do it. Yeah. Just do it. And where can our faith mom community connect with you, Margaret, and find more about your In his Footsteps books? We do have the website inhisfootsteps.com. And on that there's links to the books, there's links to a blog with stories like this in it. And there's the links to my Facebook and Instagram pages. And you know, I have a little email list. And I I will tell you, I'm too lazy to to um spam your inbox. You'd be lucky if you get one a month. That's that's so good. Well, Margaret, thank you for reminding us that slowing down does not mean that we're neglecting what matters. It may be the very thing that helps us recognize what truly matters most. And faith mom, your child does not only need you to complete every task and every laundry pile. Your child needs your presence. And as you pray over your to-do list, ask God to guide your priorities. calm your fear and help you notice what your child is experiencing. Then pay attention to what God may be teaching you as he walks with you through each ordinary day. Ask him, "Lord, what would you have me to do today?" Margaret's website, books, and guest details are all included in the description. Please use the link in the description to begin reading about Margaret's Inis Footstep story today. And thank you for joining us on Faith Mom Mentor, where we help moms guide kids ages 8 to 12 to walk with God as we build faith together at home.
