Your child won't always have you beside them saying, "Here's what you should do." So before middle school, teach your child, teach them how to recognize God's leading for themselves, God's voice for themselves. And you can do that using just three words. And those three words are stop, test, and respond. When your child thinks God may be prompting them or speaking to them, I'm going to give you three biblical tests they can use and a simple activity you can practice with your 8 to 12year-old together. I'm not talking about hearing an audible voice. I'm talking about helping your 8 to 12year-old recognize God's leading through his word, his spirit's conviction and prompting, prayer, and godly counsel. You see, right now, your child may ask, "Mom, what should I do, but middle school is coming. There will be friendship situations you don't see, conversations you're not part of, and decisions your middle schooler will make and have to make when you're not standing right beside them. Our goal isn't to make our children independent of us. It's to help them become increasingly dependent upon God." Let me say that again. Our goal isn't to make our children independent of us. It's to help them become increasingly dependent upon God. You see, your child should value your wisdom, but they should not have to borrow your relationship with God. And before we teach our children how to recognize God's leading, there's something even more foundational. They need to know him through the gospel. They need to know and love Jesus through the gospel. Before you can ever teach your tween how to hear God's voice, make sure they have the right foundation first, which is the gospel. I created a free gospel clarity study guide to help you understand it clearly and confidently teach it to your 8 to 12year-old. Be sure to click the link in the description to get your free copy. Now, let's go to God's word and look at a story of Eli and Samuel. This story teaches us somewhat of a similar role as we have as a parent. And so I want us to look at this scripture. It is 1st Samuel 3. And it's young Samuel heard his name being called and he thought it was the priest Eli. So he got up at night and he ran to him and said, "Here I am." But Eli had not called him. It happened again. Eli had told Samuel, "Go lay down." Eventually after about three times, Eli realized God was speaking to Samuel. It was God's voice Samuel heard. In 1st Samuel 3:es 8 and9, Eli told Samuel to go back, listen, and respond. He instructed Samuel to say, "Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth." Now, Samuel's experience was a particular Old Testament calling. And I'm not saying your child should expect an audible voice. Here's the parenting picture I want you to notice. Eli recognized something Samuel didn't yet know how to recognize. And then Eli pointed Samuel toward God. Eli didn't become Samuel's permanent spiritual interpreter. He helped Samuel listen and respond. and faith mom. That's part of what we're doing these 8year to 12 year category for our kids. We are helping them know God personally. Soon other voices are get are going to get so much louder there. Other voices like friends and social media, other voices like culture and fear, anxiety, emotions, desires, all those voices are going to get louder. So, I don't simply want my child to know, well, mom knows God. I want my child to know God for themselves and have a personal relationship with God. You see, Jesus told us in John 10 27, "My sheep hear my voice. I know them and they follow me." And Jesus calls his followers friends in John 15:15. Think about your child entering middle school knowing I belong to Jesus. I can go to him. I know where to find truth. Jesus is my friend and I'm learning to follow him. Has your child ever asked you, "How do I know if that's God's voice I hear or if God is speaking to me?" If they have, would you put a yes in the comments? That's a wonderful opportunity to begin teaching discernment. And oh, how we need discernment. Discernment is just the difference between right and wrong and recognizing that difference. Relationship before recognition is so important though. If you don't have relationship before recognition, we're not teaching a technique for receiving messages. We are talking about a child who has personally trusted Christ and is learning to walk with him. Once that foundation is clear, teach them these three words. Stop, test, respond. And use these three questions. The first test is, is what I am hearing, does it agree with the word of God? Does it agree with God's word? This is the first and crucial test, the important test. You see, 2 Timothy 3 teaches that scripture is God breathed. And Psalm 119 calls God's word a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. And First Thessalonians 5:21 tells us to test everything and to hold on to what is of God, to hold on to what is good. So teach your child if you think God may be leading you, ask, "Does this agree with what God has already said in his word?" Here's some examples. Suppose your child says, "I keep thinking I should apologize to my friend because I was mean." Does that agree with scripture? Well, yes it does. But suppose they say, "I think God wants me to hide this from you, Mom, because you'll tell me not to do it." Well, that fails the test of scripture. We don't need another feeling. We need God's word. God's word isn't one opinion we consult. God's word is the standard. And if that distinction helps you, please tap the like button so I know you want more practical teaching like this for the tween years you're going through with your child. The second test is does it fit God's character? Does what your child is hearing, the voice that they're hearing, the thought that they have, does it fit God's character? This is where your child needs to understand the difference between conviction and condemnation. God can convict us. He may show us something is wrong and needs to change. So let's not teach if it makes you me uncomfortable, it can't be God. Because sometimes obedience is uncomfortable. But compare these two thoughts. One thought may say, "You lied. That was wrong. Tell the truth and make it right. The other says, "You're terrible. God is tired of you. You'll never get this right." Those are very different voices. Because Romans 8:1 says, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." That doesn't mean God ignores sin. First John 1:9 teaches us to confess sin and he is faithful and just to forgive us. God's conviction moves us toward repentance and restoration. Whereas condemnation leaves us believing we are hopeless. Conviction, well that was wrong, but come back. Condemnation, you are hopeless. Stay down. So teach your child to ask, does this voice, does this thought, does this sound consistent with the God I know from scripture? You see, God is faithful. His character is not whimsical or constantly changing. His character is steady, steadfast, and trustworthy. If you are raising an 8 to 12y old and want help preparing your child spiritually before all the middle school pressure increases, please subscribe. That's what we talk about here. And now to the third test that keeps your child from calling every passing thought God's voice. Test three. Does what I am hearing you can ask them to ask themselves. Does it hold up by prayer and godly counsel? So teach your child this. An impression is something to test, a thought, a voice, not something you immediately label, God told me. You see, James 1 tells us to ask God for wisdom. Proverbs teaches the value of wise counsel. So your child can pray, "God, help me understand this. Show me what your word says. Help me hear your voice. Give me wisdom." Then they can come to you. But listen for this shift. Instead of mom, tell me what God wants, we want them to move toward this. Mom, I've prayed about this. I've looked at what scripture says. Can you help me think through it? That's growth. That is discerning God's voice. You're not becoming less important. You're actually becoming more like Eli, more pointing them to the truth and to God. You are a guide who points your child to God. And remember this, just because an impression says stays with them does not prove it's from God. Just because they keep this thought over and over and over does not mean it is from God. It is still a thought that they need to ask these questions. So here is the framework. Stop. Don't immediately say God told me. Test. Ask these three questions about the thought, about the voice, about what you think you heard. Does it agree with God's word? Does it fit God's character? And does it hold up through prayer and godly counsel? And then the last thing is respond. Take the next faithful step because recognizing God's leading or God's voice isn't the final goal. The final goal is following Jesus. That is the final goal. And you do have to hear his voice to follow him. So, here is an activity that you can do with your child. Just take a a few minutes. Here's what I want you to do with your child this week. I want you to say to them, let's practice figuring out whether something sounds consistent with God's leading. And I want you to give them these three scenarios. Here's the first scenario. I keep thinking I should sit with the new kid who's alone. That's what my thought is. So, I want to test it. Does kindness agree with scripture. We're just going through the three tests. Yes, it does. Does this scenario idea fit God's character? Yes, it does. Would a godly person or mentor through prayer would it blind? So respond and take the next faithful step and go say hello. Here's the second scenario you could talk over with him. I cheated and I keep feeling like I should tell the truth. Does truthfulness agree with scripture is the first category. Does this thought agree with God's word? Could conviction feel uncomfortable? Yes, it could. And it c it fits with God's character. So, you confess it and you make it right. Would godly counsel agree with it? Would you agree in prayer? And the third scenario is I messed up and now keep thinking God doesn't want me. Does that agree with the gospel? No, it doesn't. That's where you teach the difference between conviction and condemnation. And then you can ask, is there anything in your life right now that you've been wondering about? Any thought, any voice? And don't immediately give them an answer. Ask them, "What does scripture say about that voice, about that thought? What do you know about God's character? And have you prayed about it? Who could give you godly counsel? You're taking them through these questions. What do you think your next faithful step is? That's your Eli moment. That's your moment where you are sending them to God to listen carefully, test biblically, and respond faithfully. And if you know another mom who is realizing, I can't make every spiritual decision for my child forever, I want you to share this video with her. These are conversations we need to start before the pressure of middle school increases. But before you try to do this activity, you must come back to the foundation, which is the gospel. Think about testing a bridge when you're talking to your kid about the gospel. Whether they have grown up in church and heard this all their life and can repeat it, I want you to test the gospel message in their heart. You see, a bridge isn't tested because engineers expect it to collapse. A bridge is tested so they can have confidence that it is strong enough to bear the weight placed upon it. And that's how I want you to think about checking your child's understanding of the gospel and yours as well. You're not trying to doubt or make your child doubt. You're helping them know what am I actually trusting? Because middle school will put pressure on what your child believes. And I don't want their foundation simply to be, well, my mom told me Christianity is true. I want your child, and I think you do, too, to be able to say, I know why I need Jesus. I understand what Jesus did for me. I have personally trusted him. I belong to him. and I am learning to walk with him day by day. So before you can teach your tween, your 8 to 12year-old how to hear God's voice, make sure you don't skip the foundation. We have to get the gospel right first. That's why I created the Gospel Clarity Study Guide. It is for moms of kids ages 8 to 12. It will help you deepen your own understanding of the gospel and give you practical ways to communicate it clearly with your child. Click the link in the description and download it today. You do not want this moment to pass. Get your free copy. Go through it yourself. Understand the gospel for yourself and then get your middle schooler, your 8 to 12year-old to go through it with you. Mom, we're not raising children who call every thought God's voice. And we're not raising children who can only know what God wants when mom tells them. We're helping them to know Jesus, to follow him, to hear his voice, to know his word, to pray, to seek wise counsel, and then to respond faithfully. So the three words is stop, test, and respond. Your child still needs you so desperately, but you're preparing them for the moments when you're not standing beside them. I encourage you to watch the next video. It is on how to explain what it means to be saved to your 8 to 12year-old because before they can learn to recognize God's leading, make sure they understand the gospel they're standing on. Make sure they have a relationship with the good shepherd who knows his sheep.
