As Christian moms, we are raising our children in a world filled with competing voices about truth, identity, faith, and scripture. And for moms of middle schoolers, their honest questions can sometimes catch us off guard. Today, we are talking about why it matters to understand what we believe so we can guide our children with biblical clarity and confidence.
I am honored to welcome Sheila Krejszeld, wife, mother, grandmother of six, Bible teacher, author, speaker, and former college religion instructor.
Sheila holds degrees in biblical studies and cultural apologetics, and is passionate about helping believers trust scripture, find their identity in Christ, and share their faith with humility and confidence. Sheila, thank you so much for joining us today on the Faith Mom Mentor. Thank you so much for inviting me.
This is just so exciting for me. I, I, I love watching your, your show. . Thank you, sheila, when we talk about your beliefs, moms may immediately think, "That sounds important," but also a little intimidating. Why is understanding your beliefs such an important part of Christian motherhood and Christian parenting?
Not just something for Bible teachers or theologians, why is it important for Christian moms? I think that being a credible witness, whether it's in the world or whether it's in our home, whether it's to our middle schoolers, our high schoolers, our adult kids, grandchildren, I think it's so important to be credible.
And as a Christian mother, I believe that understanding your beliefs is tantamount, is just so important to your faith, that you hold. And because it's a part of your Christian witness. That's why I think it's very important, because we wanna make sure that we're a credible witness, not only out in the world, but that we're a credible witness in our home today. So what I hear that you're saying is that moms must understand what they believe in order to be a credible witness in their home.
How can understanding our beliefs strengthen the way we lead our home spiritually and provide that Biblical parenting advice to our children?
I, understanding our beliefs at any level, it will strengthen the way that we, um, lead our homes. So i- if, the Bible is what we use or what we, we are, how we find out how we're supposed to act, and how we're supposed to behave, and how God wants us to, to be, um, e- be, act as his children. And how we act in the home, that's super important.
And understanding our beliefs, and i- that strengthens the way we lead our home spiritually by giving us the groundwork and the foundation that we need to be able to show our kids how, how they believe. Yeah. So many moms, Christian moms, assume they need some sort of formal training before they can confidently guide their children.
But understanding what we believe is something every believer can grow in, and that's one reason I appreciate the ba- practical approach you take in What Makes You Say That?, which we'll link below for everyone watching. But the question I want to ask you about is our audience is primarily moms of middle schoolers, and middle school is such a formative age.
Why do you think that m- the middle school years are such an important time for moms to become clearer and more grounded in Biblical truth and understanding their own beliefs? I, the middle school years, I, I have kids that are a little bit older, so I've had the time, I've had the time in middle school.
And a few years ago, right before COVID, I was asked to fill in as a substitute teacher at the local Christian school where we are, where my, all my kids went. And for seventh and eighth graders, I was there, and I saw, I had a lot of time with them, especially COVID online just like this, and how important online presence is, and online, uh, different podcasts 'cause that's, that's the way they're growing up.
They're listening to podcasts just like you and I, only probably to a greater degree. But that middle school age seems to be the time where kids start, uh, branching out a little bit, where they start saying, "Hey, my friend said this," and, "My friend said..." "Well, can I really trust my mom and dad?" Because at this point, um- I, I, I've been around my mom and dad long enough, and, and I, I kinda like my friends, and so they start trusting their friendships a little bit more.
And if you appear wishy-washy, they're gonna know it. So you kinda need to understand some of the basic principles of your faith. Let's face it, when we're single and when we're... we don't have kids, and, you know, we're just doing our own life, and we say, "Oh, yeah, I believe. I believe. I'm a Christian," and that's great for then.
And of course, let's hope that you have a depth to you that you would, you know, seek out relationships that, um, also are Christians for your future, like your mate. But those times, it's, it's important to know what you believe, and I, I don't think I was able to articulate what I believed as well simply because I didn't take the time to invest in it.
But I believe it's so important for young moms, uh, of, of middle schoolers, well, even old moms of middle schoolers, but, uh, uh, parents of middle schoolers to know at least the basics of what they believe so that when they do get those questions, you don't... You're, again, you're credible, and you don't look wish- wishy-washy.
Yeah, that is so good because in my studies as a... I went to school to be a middle grades education teacher, and that was one of the main things that they taught us in our first core class as a middle grades instructor, is that that is the age that kids are deciding their allegiance. They are transferring their allegiance from their parents to their friends.
And so that's, I think, what I'm hearing you say why it's so important for you to know what you believe. And another thing that came to mind when you were just talking is a lot of moms say, "Well, I know what I believe," but they're not able to articulate it. And the Bible even warns us that the devil believes and yet doesn't say what the truth is.
There's no truth in him. And so just because you believe, you do need to articulate it, and I love how you pointed out that that middle school age is so, is, is such a formative age because it's the time of their life that they are deciding, and the mom's stability is so important. What kinds... The mom's stability in what they believe is so important that, for them to have- Yes
that foundation. Now, in your experience, what kind of middle school faith questions often begin to surface during this stage, and, and how can moms be prepared for them? Some of the questions that came about during that, especially during that time, and as I remember back to my kids, is, um, they're, they're just playing with their, with their faith and they're starting.
So when I first went into that classroom that trimester, I bought each student a little leather journal. It wasn't that big. It was probably a, probably the size of a three by five card. But they were leather, and I said, "I want you to keep this forever." So I asked them all to send me a question that they really, really were struggling with in their faith, in their life.
You know, when they're talking with their friends, when they're in their baseball team or softball team, you know. What do they talk about when you're in club volleyball? You know, all those kind of things. I said, "What are some of the things that you just really don't know the answer to?" And so I got this myriad of questions, and it was, it was so cool, 'cause I said, "Now, I don't, I will never, ever, ever tell you to put your faith journal away."
So they would take that journal out, and even through the course of teaching math or science or Bible or anything, I would throw one of those questions in if it applied to something that we were talking about. So I would say, "So we're talking about science and we're talking about biology," and one of the questions that they said was, well, h- what, what about evolution?
And so I said, "Well, one of you guys ask the question," and this kinda matches, like, "What do you believe about evolution?" Or, "How should we handle evolution?" Or, "Here are some of the basic things that are out there that they're talking about, about e- evolution, and here's how we can talk about this." And they would
I- they'd get out their journals, and they'd be sitting in there writing. And I said, "You know, someday when you're 16 and you're driving, throw this in your glove box. So if somebody asks you something, there's no harm in saying, 'You know what? I r- I looked at that when I was in middle school or when I was in high school, and, you know, let me revisit what I talked about.
And, oh, well, I could give you an answer. I feel like this about this because we studied this.'" Another question that they asked was, um, t- "Are, are there animals going to heaven? You know, my dog had died, and ... Or my cat ran away," or that kind of thing. Like, "Will I see my animals in heaven?" And it was cute because I could just say, "Well, you know, Romans chapter 8 talks about, you know, g- the groaning, how we are groaning.
It's not just us, the whole earth is groaning. And, you know, for everything to be m- made right in that, um, I believe the animals, the birds, the mountains, the trees, rivers, everything is going to be redeemed because it groans waiting for that. So I truly believe that animals will be in heaven because, you know, it's it, uh, we're all waiting.
Everything on this earth is waiting until the end comes where things were originally, um, back to what they were actually intended to be." Yeah, and even the lion will lay down with the lamb, the Bible says. So that certainly- Right ... includes animals, right? Yeah. And, and middle ... Uh, so what we're s- what we're talking about today is the, is the struggle Christian moms have with the messages that their kids are hearing from culture, from social media, from all the competing definitions of truth.
What do you see some of the biggest challenges in Christian families are facing when it comes to Biblical truth today? One of the bigge-- and this is probably-- this has, has been something that has bothered me and actually threw me into, um, the apologetics world. And, um, for those of you who don't know what apologetics is, I have a-- I, I went to school after a faith crisis.
Um, and when I-- I went for a bi- a, a master's degree in biblical studies, and after I left, I just felt like I didn't have my questions answered. So I thought-- I read this book by a woman, uh, apologist named Mary Jo Sharp, and after I got done reading her book, I was like, "Well, she didn't tell me what I believe.
What's going on?" And she talked about apologetics. So apologetics is a defense of the Christian faith. It comes from the root word apologia, and that word actually means a defense. So if I tell-- If I'm sitting with my mom and my mom says, "Now you need to go apologize to your brother for pushing him, and say you're sorry."
I, I would come back and I'd say, "Well, here's my apology." Apologia means defense, so my apology to you is I pushed you because that car was gonna hit you, and you could've gotten hurt, or you could've died, or whatever it is. Now, I'm not gonna say I'm sorry, but I'm gonna defend what I believe to be true, which was my, my biggest intent was to save your life.
And, and so I think we confuse in our culture, apolo- when we apologize, uh, it's not necessarily saying I'm sorry. Apologizing is your defense. So when you talk about some of the greatest challenges, going back to your question, um, I think our culture, a- and I know our culture, and what's bothered me so much is that it's redefining terms that we knew when we were younger to be true.
Now, I'm gonna give you an example. Gay marriage. I'm not gonna tell you what I believe about gay marriage, but I am gonna tell you gay marriage is, to me, not really a marriage. Because if you go back to the etymology of the word marriage, the word marriage means a heterosexual union. So gay marriage is something.
It's a y- uh, you know, the way we define it in our world today, it's something, but it's really not a marriage. It's a union. And so that's something our kids are gonna grow up so confused about. Well, they're married and marriage means together. W- well, it does, and you've made a commitment, but in the original term, it means a heterosexual union, which is God's design.
Another one that they've, they've redefined is, um, reproductive healthcare. Nobody wants to have the tag that they've had an abortion. Of course not. You know, maybe you were weak and let... You know, we have all the grace and the truth for tho- and in the, for those people that, you know, suffered that time and, you know, that decision that they had to make.
But really, reproductive healthcare, it's not healthcare if it's not caring for the health of the baby. So we gotta watch the terms. And so when you hear these things in the culture, you've gotta automatically go back and say, "Well, wait, what did it mean for me, and what does it mean today?" Oh, yeah. And what does it mean?
How, how can moms ... There's a lot of mixed definitions, like you were just saying. You know, the redefining of the original definition of a word. So how can moms respond without fear or panic or anger while still firmly holding onto the original definition of words, the Biblical truth? There is a place for fear There's a place for fear.
I fear, I personally, I fear deep water. There's a place for that. Um, panic. Yeah, there's, there's a place for panic, and there's also a place for anger. Um, definitely a place for anger. But I want, uh, take a peek at those emotions. Um, w- what do they emulate? Fear, panic, and anger, they can automatically swing you to the other side very quickly because they're emotions.
And how I like to, to run my life is through Philippians 4:8. Whatever is true, whatever is noble, right, whatever's pure, lovely, admirable. If there's something praiseworthy and there's something, uh- Virtuous, something praiseworthy. We're supposed to think on those things. Now, obviously in the face of something that's not truth or something that's redefined, you have to be logical.
But we also have to understand that we have to swing ourself back to God's word. Always go back to his word, and make sure that you're rooted and you're grounded in what God says so that those, those... that fear, that panic, that anger, those things are replaced, the bad side of them are replaced with what's true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and, uh, virtuous and praiseworthy.
You know, keep your mind set on the good things. So if we, if we, if we really bring ourself back to that place where we're just automatically gonna sulk and get, get discouraged, and forget it, there's not... You know, y- you can't do that. You've, you've, you've got, as a parent, to always be on guard and always be ready to give that answer.
And I think control your emotions by swinging it the other way, to Philippians 4:8. That's such a, um, important reminder, because the, the Bible in itself, the whole word of God is reason and logic. It is the building block of everything. And so moms do need to have that reason and that logic, but yet even Jesus got angry.
Even Jesus was, uh, had emotion about things. So having emotion about things is not wrong. Right. But standing firm on the truth, uh, that develops or that, um, promotes those emotions, the truth is what you're standing on, not the emotion. You're not being regulated by the emotion. You're regulated by truth, and sometimes the truth can create emotions in us.
And 📍 Mom, if you're realizing that cultural questions are becoming more complex, and you want to better understand your beliefs so you can guide your children with Biblical clarity, be sure to check out Sheila's book, What Makes You Say That? I've linked it in the description. And before we move on, if this conversation is encouraging you and helping you think more deeply about your faith and parenting, 📍 would you take a quick second to hit the like button?
Not only does it encourage us, but it's a signal to other moms that this information is valuable and worth them looking at and listening to. It's Biblical encouragement and guidance for today. Sheila, one thing I love about your message is that moms do not have to know everything before they can guide their children well.
What would you say to the Christian mom who feels unprepared right now when her children ask a hard question about faith or scripture, culture, or biblical truth? I think We're expected to give answers rapid fire. You know, you go to the grocery store, the checker says, "Do you want this or not?" And you go, "Um, yes or no."
And, and... Or you, um, you, you know, you get a question from the doctor's office, you know, "Well, are you coming in for the..." You know, you have to constantly... You're rapid fire. We always... And one time I saw a life coach, and she really helped me answer, um, uh, uh... Adjust my thinking about how we respond to people. I think we ought to give people two or three seconds to answer a question before, 'cause we're so rapid fire.
But we need to give people time to think and to process and to be, um, uh, better, uh, better well-versed in our answers. And I also think we need to give ourselves that break, too. So if there, something comes your way that you're not, you're not a f- uh, y- you know, familiar with. Let's say your kid... I had a guy on an airplane ask me, um, i- he was Catholic, I'm Protestant, and he had a lot...
He must not have had a lot of Protestant friends, and he was just rapid fire asking me questions. And I would just sit back and I'd go, "I have to think about this a second," and then I'd answer it. And, and there's no shame in taking a little time to answer a question. But also, after that is, we have to be comfortable saying, "I don't know."
And sometimes when our kids ask us, you know, a, a question a- and we don't have the answer it, it's hard to say, "Well, sweetie, I really, I really don't know." And then add to that, don't leave them in their I don't know stage, because middle school is important this way, to answer that question. But you know what?
What if we sit down together tonight at the dining room table and just look at this question that you have? And if you have questions, I'm gonna g- this is a freebie for you right now. One of the, one of the sources that I go to that I think is so good is, of course, The Bible Project. We all know about The Bible Project.
But there's a, a website called www.gotquestions.org, and it's biblical teachers and theologians, and it's biblically sound. You can just type in your little question, and it'll come up and give you a way to answer it. And what's cool is if you read the answer with your child, your middle schooler, your friend, whatever, if you read it with them and you are articulating your thinking, you're taking that knowledge and you're bringing it forward, and you're, and you're processing that along with your middle schooler.
You're, you're doing problem-solving techniques here. If you're doing that with your child, you're, again, becoming more credible, but also you're learning in your faith just as much as they are. And let's hope you'll be able to keep it. Yeah. That is modeling humility and confidence right there. M- m- bridging that gap.
Um, at the same time, the mom is learning in her faith, navigating the faith questions- um, with her child. Can you just elaborate on that a little bit more? How can a model, how can a mom continue to model that humility and confidence? Yeah. Confidence, think about it. Confidence and humility. Think about it.
They, they really almost feel like they don't coexist. So there's, there's a hard part already. You got two terms that almost feel, you know, a little bit off. But I remember when I was a, uh, probably in high school or college age, early college age, someone asked me, "Well, how do you want to be remembered?" And I always said, "Hmm, I want to be remembered as being classy.
I don't want to be remembered as somebody who comes on, on, you know, prideful, and I don't want to come, come on as somebody that's over confident, confident" because believe me, I've, I've done both in my life, and I've done it more than once, uh, probably on a daily or weekly basis. But confidence and humility, because they don't sound like they coexist, I think we need to navigate those faith questions that require that confidence, um, with a s- with prayer, and just start our world with, uh, uh, when we have questions, learn to say and bring God into, um, our world when we talk about, um, faith issues and when we talk about the questions that our kids have.
After you are considered humble and you are considered confident, that you have, again, earned that credibility to be able to answer those questions that others have. Yeah. I think that the mom who says, "Well, just believe it," or, "Just do it because I said so," really lacks both humility and confidence, because I think confidence is an ability to explain why you believe what you believe or why you're asking that child to, um, do what you're asking them to do.
And I think the child is more receptive when they understand why. Why do we do this certain, um, activity? Why do we do it at this time? And, and if the child understands the why, then that in itself enables the mom to appear and be more confident, while the humility of the mom is giving the explanation of, "Okay, I'm not as important as you are, child, and so I want you to also understand the why."
Yep, I agree 100%. And Sheila, your book is called What Makes You Say That? And, and I love that because it makes you pause and think about where our beliefs are coming from. Why is it important for Christians to examine what they believe, why they believe it, and how it impacts Christian parenting? We talked about that at the beginning that, you know, it's a credible witness.
So if we are supposed to, um, to be a credible witness, not only to the outside world, we also have to be a credible witness to those people in our home, our children. And the thing about being a credible witness, it's, it's not whether you want to be or not, it's a mandate. There's evangelism that goes on at, at home, and it's not like, well, you know, when you're comfortable, then you can be, you know, a, a, a credible witness, and you can learn about what you believe, you know, when you, when you feel like it, when it's a good day, or if it's a question, you know, that just comes naturally to you.
Um, no, in 1 Peter, you know, uh, it talks about that. You know, we are responsible to give a response for the hope that we have. The beauty of that is that I don't have to give a response to anybody else's faith. I don't have to tell, explain to anybody why, why my husband believes what he does and why anybody else in the world believes what they do.
I'm responsible for me, and that verse tells us that we have to give the reason for our hope. And I think that often that verse is taken a little bit in a more broad and, and a little bit more broad, where, you know, we have to answer every single question every single person has, and I don't believe that.
Let's start small. Start out with one question. Start out with one thing and, and, and, and work at that level, and when you start out at the base level, you can build. It's kind of like learning a trade. It's kind of like, you know, I wouldn't hire anybody here, anybody to my... I wouldn't, I wouldn't need to hire anybody to put in a new light fixture in my room, because I can do that.
But boy, if I, if I needed a cement sidewalk, I would certainly hire somebody because they've taken that craft. Now, would I rewire my whole house? Heavens, no, I wouldn't, because that's not something that I've built upon that I know. I can do the basic, but when we go a little bit deeper, I, I, I realize I'm not, I'm not there.
So start small, learn the things you need to learn, and build upon it until you've, you've created this really huge defense of your faith. And then, and, and then you, you know, that credible witness starts to come out even more. And if your child is in the middle school age, perfect time, perfect time to examine yours.
Sit down with them. Just work on it with them, and then go through what the Bible says and say, "Well, what does the Bible say this... What does the culture..." Put things back and forth and, and measure them and, and really have those good conversations. They're, they're craving it. They want it. They do. They really do.
And it's so important Sheila, thank you for that practical ways that the mom can just begin. Sometimes it's just taking that next step to just begin, not to g- let the overwhelm take over, but like you were just saying, just one topic, one thing.
Search that out, get a understanding of that, and then build from that. So mom, 📍 you do not have to have every answer perfectly figured out to begin leading your children with Biblical confidence, but you can take a next step in understanding your beliefs and why they matter. And Sheila's book, What Makes You Say That?,
is a helpful resource for moving from confusion to clarity as you learn how to study and share your faith with conviction and humility. And you can click the link in the description to check it out. One thing, Sheila, I appreciate about your message is that Biblical confidence doesn't mean becoming argumentative.
It means understanding your beliefs well enough to communicate truth with grace. And that's another reason your book is such a valuable resource for Christian moms navigating these conversations. And before I ask you one more thing, Sheila, before our next question, , 📍 if you'd like us to keep creating faith-based parenting content that helps you raise middle schoolers for the glory of God while growing in your own faith journey, take just two seconds and hit the subscribe button.
Your support lets us know these conversations are helping, and encouraging us to bring, you more faith-based parenting help just like this. And Sheila, it seems like there is more to our conversation. So we are running out of the end of our time for today, but I'd love for you to come back and help us understand that not argumentative part of understanding the Bible and believing.
And you may have a better way of saying that, but would you be willing to come back and share with our community? I would love to. That would be my pleasure. Thank you. And Sheila, how can moms in the Faith Mom Mentor community connect with you, learning more about What Makes You Say That? You can get in touch with me 📍 on my website, sheilakreichald.com.
If you need a way to start, uh, learning about your faith, I have a form on there that I use. I give it in my book. It's a, it's, um, in the book, but you can also download it for free and begin writing out your belief system on a topic. You take a topic at the top, and then I, you, you study scripture. It, the, it's all in my book, the last two chapters on how to fill that form out.
But if you wanna start, that's the perfect way to get in touch with me, is through sheilakreichald.com. And also, pick up my book. You can go to Amazon, just type in What Makes You Say That into the search bar and, um, it should come up. My book should come up, and I would love for you to visit me. I'm on, uh, socials.
I'm on Facebook and Instagram if you'd like to visit me there. Excellent. And Sheila, I loved how you put, m- get down to your belief system. You see, everybody has a belief system, just like everybody has systems for their home, systems of how they do things. But their system may not be the most efficient system, and just like your belief system may not be the most credible belief system for why you believe what you believe.
And thank you, Sheila, for helping us incorporate that or get a good grip on , that belief system that we have, and we will link your book in the description for, um, anybody who wants to check that out.
Sheila, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and encouragement with us today. I, I hope, Mom, that this conversation reminded you that you don't have to be a Bible scholar to begin strengthening your own Biblical foundation. You can start with just one question, one passage of scripture, one step of obedience at a time.
And your children are growing up in a world that's trying to shape what they believe, but God placed you in their lives on purpose. To grow in Biblical clarity and confidence, please check out Sheila's book, What Makes You Say That. Again, link is in the description, along with the other links that she gave us today.
We'll link those in the description. Thank you for joining us on the Faith Mom Mentor. Sheila, thank you for being here. I just want to encourage every one of us, keep seeking God deeply and teaching our children faithfully.
